ffl 


- 


LIBRARY 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

SANTA  BARBARA 

PRESENTED  BY 
CARROLL  PURSELL 


I 


P 

•  -    •   : 


G 


MOTHER'S  HELP 


AND 


CHILD'S  FRIEND 


BY 


CARRICA  LH  FAVRE 
ft 


BRENTANO'S 

,CAG,  NRW   Y°RK  WASHINGTON 


PARIS  NEW   YORK 


1891 

>     c 
*- 


COPYRIGHTED    BY  THE   AUTHOR, 

CARRICA  LKFAVRE. 

1890. 


PRESS  OF  F.  V.  STRAUSS, 

108-114    WOO8TER   STREET,    NEW    YORK. 


DEDICATED 

TO  THE  CHILDREN  OP 

AMERICA. 


PACK, 

FRONTISPIECE, 

DEDICATED, 

PREFACE, 

THE  ADVENT   OF  A  NEW  SOUL,  5 

Woman  Molds  the  Destiny  of  Nations — Woman's  Sacred- 
ness — Her  Responsibility. 

EVOLVING  ENERGY,  9 

Children  not  Savages — Activity  leads  to  Development — We  may 

be  what  we  will — Everything,  when  in  its  place,  is  good. 

MORAL  EDUCATION,  15 

Falsehoods,  their  Effects — Not  Natural  for  the  Child  to  Lie — 
Child-life  an  Interesting  Study— Children  the  Property  of 
God — The  Hope  and  Joy  of  the  World — Mothers'  Meetings 
— Ideal  Man — Sociability  evolves  complexity  of  Organism, 
Fraternity  and  Spirituality — Dog  and  the  Babe — Sacredness 
01  the  Body — Gentleness. 

EDUCATION, 

War  History — Kindergarten — Reading  Aloud — Unfolding 
the  Voice. 

PARENTAL  AUTHORITY,  32 

Veneration  for  the  Aged — Our  First  Duty. 

THE  ART  OF  LIVING,  -        36 

INTERNAL  OR  MENTAL  FACULTIES,  37 

How  to  Ascertain  the  Line  of  Thought. 

THE  SENSES,  -  40 

MEMORY,  -  -  44 

The  Reasoning  Faculties — The  Observing  Faculties — Vivid 
First  Impressions. 

CHILDREN  OUR  REFLECTORS,  46 

Our  Acts  Reflected  even  to  the  Third  and  Fourth  Genera- 
tion—Wild Oats. 


vi  Contents. 

AUDITORY  AND  VISUAL,  48 

Doors  to  the  Intellect  and  Soul — Sound  and  its  Influence. 

SPEAK  GENTLY,  51 

Contradicting— Breaking  the  Child's  Will — Slaps  Bad. 

SYMPATHY  THE  CHILD  NEEDS,  53 

Don't  Fuss  at  its  Restlessness — Drink  of  water,  its  effects. 

AFFIRMATIVE  AND  NEGATIVE,  59 

Childs  Capacity  to  Suffer — Love  the   Legal  Tender  of  the 

Soul — Ideal  Government. 
FRIGHTENING  CHILDREN,  -        63 

Tiresome   and    Weakening — Nagging — We    find   what  we 

Search  for— The  Poison  of  Evil  Thoughts. 

FORCE,  65 

Thralldotn  Antagonistic  to  its  Growth — Ennobling  the  Home 
— Woman's  Duties  —Her  Salary — Draw  a  Quality  toward  you 
by  constantly  desiring  it — Force  and  Independence  best 
Stock  in  Trade— The  Oak  and  its  Roots. 

COURAGE,  71 

Mortality  of  Hospital  Nurses — Man's  Misdirected  Bravery — 
True  Courage — Man  the  Destroyer — Woman  the  Patcher. 

STUPIDITY  AND  SUCCESS,  73 

Be  kind  to  the  Stupid— The  Germ  of  Greatness — Wed  Mis- 
fortune to  Ambition — What  is  Success. 

OVERWORKED   BRAINS,  75 

Brain  robbed  of  Vitality — Curtail  Demands  of  Lower  Nat- 
ure-Exercise and  Fresh  Air  — Our  Possibilities  Unlimited. 

WORK,  -  78 

Upward  Current — Degeneracy — Woman's  Societies — Prosy 
Professor — Genius  and  Poverty — Students  with  Ideas — Mis- 
sion Work  at  Home — Most  Valuable  Service  of  Man — Indus- 
trial Education — Trade,  Profession  and  Music — Independent 
Individuals. 

MOTHER  AND  DAUGHTER,  ....         84 

Developing  Years — Perfect  Womanhood — Be  Companion- 
able to  the  Daughters — Grow  Old  Gracefully. 

MUSIC,        -  -  -  -     90 

Binds  into  Friendship — Effects  on  Criminals—  Prisons  should 
be  Reformatories— Music  a  Cure  for  Sickness  ;  Divine  for 
Home  Government. 


Contents.  vii 

SMILING,  -  -    92 

Greater  Beautifiers  than  Cosmetics  -  Pictures  their  Effects — 
Go  to  Sleep  with  a  Smile  on  the  Face. 

BEAUTY,    -  -    94 

It  deteriorates  with  abuse  and  neglect — Power  to  grow  beau- 
tiful is  limitless — Master  the  highest  Elements. 

PHYSICAL  CULTURE,    -  -    99 

Distinction  between  Education  and  Culture — The  Physical 
Drill — Tuning  the  Body— Opposing  Forces — Perfect  Body 
Essential — Greeks— The  Left  Hand — Ugly  Exercises— Nasty 
Games — Grace  and  Graciousness — Conserving  Energy. 

FOOD,  ....  -  108 

For  the  Delicate — Bottle-feeding — Boiled  Milk — Weaning — 
Regularity  in  Eating — The  Stomach — Chemistry  of  Food — 
Lime  Salts— Water  Resorts — Bread— Diseased  Animals- 
Vegetable  Oils — Bill  of  Fare — Digestive  Fluids— Eat  to 
Live — Good  Cheer. 

STIMULANTS,  -     -       -  123 

Act  as  Brakes — Fat  Body — Wrinkles — Tea  breeds  Restless- 
ness— Unnatural  Activity — Its  reaction — Wasted  Force — 
Vegetarian  diet  for  Reform — Patent  Medicine — Colic  Cure — 
Hot  Applications — Soothing  Syrup  injurious. 

STRENGTH,  -  -  -  128 

School  Children — Air,  Exercise,  Diet— Muscle  and  Tissue 
Properties. 

WATER,  AIR  AND  SUNSHINE,  -  131 

A  Liquid  Food— Eighty  per  cent  of  the  Body — A  Drink  for 
Baby—Flushing  the  System — Water  Cure — Bathing — Teach 
Infant  to  enjoy  daily  Bath — The  Pores  Respiratory  Avenues — 
Skin  a  fourfold  Agent — Air — Immense  Quantity  Needed — 
Spoiled  Air — Carbonic  Acid  Gas — Airy  Sleeping  Rooms — 
Sleep,  in  a  Close  Room,  becomes  a  Stupor  —Kerosene  Lamps 
and  Diphtheria— Skin  Exhalations — Comforters  and  Blan- 
kets— Sunshine— Its  healing  Power — Scrofula  and  Con- 
sumption— Moral  Sunshine — Happiness  depends  upon  it. 

MOTHER  AND  BABE,    -  -  140 

Sleep— Chest  active — Diet  and  Control — Mothers'  Milk- 
Babe  Sensitive— Callers'  disturbing  Influence — No  gain  by 
Smartness  at  the  Start -Caressing  and  Handling  weakening 


viii  Contents. 

to  the  Child— Eating  <md  Sleeping  the  first  Month — Airing 
the  Infant— Objections  to  Sitting  and  Walking  Early- 
Child's  neck,  Spine  and  Abdomen. 

DEMANDS  OF  NATURE,  -  U6 

Waste  Matter  poisons  the  System— Regularity  Necessary  to 
Health  and  Beauty. 

HEALTH,  -  147 

The  Natural  State  of  the  Being— Unhealthy  Body  depressing 
to  look  at— Health  should  be  the  rule  instead  of  erception— 
Offenses  to  the  Body — Grumbling  and  Discontent — Rid  your- 
self of  Friction — Forget  yourself— Deaths  among  Children — 
Hereditary  Transmission— Organism  vested  with  Recupera- 
tive Powers — Anthropology. 

NATURAL  DEATHS,      -  -  151 

Transition  to  next  Life— Infant  death  Wrong — Come  we 
here  to  Sicken  and  Die,  or  to  Live  ? — Confidence — Live 
attuned  to  Nature,  while  Life  offers  Opportunity  for  Prog- 
gress  ;  when  not,  Pass  on. 

LULLABY  SONG,  -  -  154 

With  Music. 

SLEEP,        -  -  156 

Hours  Required — Prayer — Insomnia. 

CLOTHING,  -  160 

A  Moral  Thermometer — Utility  and  Beauty — Underwear — 
Dress  in  one  piece — Wrap  long— Shoes  to  match — Gloves 
to  Match  and  Hose — That  Simple  and  Pretty  Rather  than 
Fashionable  and  Absurd — No  Birds. 

NURSES,     -  -  166 

Training  absolutely  Necessary — Our  Nursing  decides  our 
Future — High  Standard  in  the  Nurse. 

THE  EYES,  -  168 

Fresh  Air  —  Protection  —  Bathing  —  Short-sightedness,  its 
Cause  and  Cure — Cross  Eyes— Cause. 

TOILET,  -  170 

Care  of  Teeth— Begin  in  Infancy— The  Dentist— Teeth  in 
old  Age— Lime  in  the  System— Hair— Use  Brush — Wash 
with  rain  Water— Color  Matter— Cutting— Growth— Dress- 
ing Hair— The  Nose— How  to  have  a  Beautiful  Nose — The 
Handkerchief— Catarrh — The  Nails— Care  of  Finger  and 
Toe  Nails. 


Contents. 


IX 


VACCINATION,        -  ...  175 

Its  Dangers — Transmission  of  Disease. 

KISSING,   -  -  177 

Drinking  Cups — Saliva  and  Breath. 

RIGHTS,      -                       -  -  178 

Increase   Responsibility — Conditions    of  Homes,   Schools, 

Institutions — Supply  their   Needs — Woman  to  the  Front — 

Responsible  Overseer. 

WHAT  WE  ARE  MADE  OF,              -  -  181 

REMEDIES  AND  RECIPES,       .-  -  182 

Diarrhoea — Constipation —  Cramps  —  Burns — Fire — Drinks, 

Fruit  and  Berry. 

AFTERTHOUGHTS,         -                      -  -           -           -  185 


's  preface. 


Oft-repeated  times  have  my  sympathies  been  appealed 
to,  when  I  have  seen  the  deplorable  condition  of  the 
nursery.  Here  is  too  often  evidence  of  the  neglect  in 
the  education  of  girls  regarding  common  sense,  practical, 
every-day  knowledge  of  right  living.  Nor  is  this  fact 
confined  to  America,  for  I  find  a  much  worse  condition 
in  some  parts  of  Europe  and  other  countries.  It  is  my 
desire  to  present  this  theme — so  dear  to  my  heart — in  the 
simplest  possible  manner,  concisely  and  in  a  practical 
way,  that  through  its  remindings  it  may  verily  prove  a 
help  to  the  mother  and  a  friend  to  the  child. 


"  If  we  set  a  proper  value  on  those  who  contribute  to  the  pros- 
perity of  the  states  we  ought  to  place  in  the  first  ranks  those  who 
teach  children,  whose  labors  influence  posterity,  and  on  whose 
precepts  and  exertions  the  welfare  of  our  country  in  a  great  meas- 
ure depends." — Lorenzi  de  Medici. 

"All  women  may  be  raised  to  the  dignity  of  spiritual  mother- 
hood and  educators  of  the  human  race." 

"No  man  ever  lived  a  right  life  who  had  not  been  chastened  by 
a  woman's  love,  strengthened  by  her  courage,  and  guided  by  her 
direction." — Ruskin. 


HE  advent  of  a  new  soul  into  this  life 
existence  is  heralded  with  very  little 
comment  or  care.  Nor  is  the  frail 
stranger  assured,  always,  that  he  is 
welcome  and  will  be  cared  for,  pro- 
tected, and  instructed  as  to  the  best 
method  of  meeting  the  demands  likely 
'to  be  made  upon  him  by  a  sojourn  in  this  life. 
In  truth,  his  interests  commonly  form  a  small 
per  cent  of  the  agitations.  But  when  he  is 
big  and  strong  he  will  fight  for  his  rights,  tooth-and- 
nail ;  and  he  being  ignorant  of  the  true  way  of  living, 
will  in  turn  leave  his  offspring  to  do  as  he  did.  Thus  is 
strife  engendered,  and  while  this  lasts  there  will  be  but 
little  hope  of  rising  above  the  high-water  line  of  that 
relic  of  barbarism — war.  Each  one  selfishly  lives  for 


6  Mother's  Help  and 

himself,  indeed  this  is  not  living,  it  is  simply  existing  ; 
for  in  selfishly  living  the  sweets  of  life  are  lost,  and  in- 
deed the  very  object  of  life. 

jjn  woman's  hands  are  the  materials  for  the  creation 
of  great  intellects,  the  molding  of  heads  and  hearts  that 
should  elevate  mankind.  She  is  the  most  sacred  creat- 
ure of  God's  creation.  To  her  He  has  'intrusted  the 
greatest  of  responsibilities.  Is  she  worthy  of  the  trust  ? 
Let  every  mother  ask  herself  this  question,  that  her 
labors  be  not  in  the  wrong  direction  and  age  reward  her 
with  a  realization  too  late  that  her  years  are  misspent^ 

flvet  the  mother  concentrate  her  thoughts  upon  the 
fireside  to  make  it  the  most  attractive  spot  on  earth  to 
those  most  near  and  dear  to  her.)  It  is  not  wise  to  wait 
till  after  marriage,  but  begin  while  young,  at  the  old 
hearthstone,  aided  by  loving  parents  and  surrounded  by 
brothers  who  will,  by  her,  be  kept  purer  and  better  pro- 
tected from  the  temptations  incident  to  business  and 
social  life.  In  this  way  she  becomes  a  character  in  the 
world  and  gradually  fitted  for  the  greater  privilege  of 
presiding  at  her  own  little  fireside. 

(Home  is  the  best  school  for  discipline,  and  "family 
life,"  says  Samuel  Smiles,  L,L,.D.,"  is  God's  own  method 
of  training  the  young.  And  homes  are  very  much  what 
women  make  them,  That  St.  Paul  gave  the  palm  to  the 
women  who  were  stayers  and  workers  at  home,  for  he 
recognized  that  home  is  the  crystal  of  society,  and  that 
domestic  love  and  duty  are  the  best  security  for  all  that 
is  most  dear  to  us  on  earth." 

(The  hope  of  France,  said  the  late  Bishop  of  Orleans, 
is  in  her  mothers.  And  we  will  add,  the  hope  of  the 
world.  But  how  shall  the  mothers  be  made  aware  of 
their  importance  ?  Have  they  received  home  instruc- 


Child's  Friend.  7 

tions  ?  Do  the  libraries  contain  proper  works  on  this  all- 
important  subject  ?  Is  it  introduced  as  an  essential  study 
in  the  higher  departments  at  school  ?  Is  it  proclaimed 
from  the  pulpit  and  by  the  press  as  becomes  a  subject  of 
such  universal  importance  ? 

.  .  If  the  pulpit  and  the  press,  and  the  rulers  of  the  land 
attach  but  little  importance  to  the  office  a  mother  fills, 
how  can  she  grow  in  breadth  of  mind  and  strength  of 
character  as  becomes  one  who  shall  see  to  the  proper  de- 
velopments of  the  coming  man} 

Again  says  Smiles  :  "  But  alas  !  we  are  distracted  by 
the  outcries  of  women  who  protest  against  their  woman- 
hood and  wildly  strain  to  throw  off  their  most  lovable 
character."  If  the  mother  could  have  the  esteem,  the 
cheering  congratulations  that  inspire  the  political  office- 
holder of  the  land  ;  if  she  could  be  made  to  feel  the  im- 
portance of  her  glorious  work,  she  would  not  be  at  all 
desirous  to  throw  off  womanhood  ;  but  the  contrary,  and 
homes  would  possess  charms  not  now  heard  of. 

Let  a  woman  demand  the  same  recognition  of  merit 
for  well  discharged  duties  that  man  made  customary 
among  men,  and  which  has  spurred  him  on  and  on,  and 
we  shall  see  an  improvement  in  the  home  conditions 
which  in  a  few  years  means  an  improvement  in  state 
affairs. 

fLet  a  woman  see  that  her  office  is  the  most  praise- 
worthy and  sacred  ;  inspire  her  with  zeal  and  warmth, 
with  purity  befitting  that  office,  'twill  be  to  the  interest 
of  the  man,  'twill  be  to  the  interest  of  the  nation. 

Combined  efforts  the  world  has  long  recognized  as  its- 
greatest  power,  be  it  exerted  for  good  or  for  evil ;  so  could 
combined  effort,  in  harmony,  establish  motherhood  on  a 
firm  basis  that  would  enable  woman,  with  the  co- opera- 


8 


Mother's  Help  and 


tion  of  man,  to  wipe  out  in  a  few  generations  the  feeble- 
ness of  body,  mind,  and  morals  that  has  resulted  from 
the  low  estimate  placed  on  the  office  of  motherhood. 
Then  would  the  mother's  sky  clear  and  her  star  of  hope 
rise  full  in  the  heavens  before  herj 


Child's  Friend. 


IBbolbing 


L,L,  through  Nature  we  see  a  gentle 
flow  from  the  simple  into  the  com- 
plex, both  in  structure  and  soul 
element.  This  potency  pervades 
Nature  that  through  it  all  may  rise 
from  the  low  to  the  high.  And  yet 
so  strong  is  the  desire  of  all  organ- 
ized creation  to  survive,  that  efforts  for 
improvement  are  often  withdrawn  to  be 
devoted  to  the  struggle  for  life  —  adjusting  itself 
to  its  environments.  To  improve  is  the  organism's  nat- 
ural tendency  ;  but  live,  it  must,  some  how,  even  at  the 
cost  of  progress. 

That  activity  leads  to  development  has  been  shown 
us  by  Nature  from  the  beginning.  Activity  develops 
complexity  and  increases  scope.  And  that  the  human 
creation  is  Nature's  present  climax  is  by  no  means  say- 
ing that  it  is  finished,  not  at  all  ;  we  still  go  on  adding 
consciousness,  and  if  we  will  follow  the  voice  of  Nature's 
God  we  may  continue  to  evolve  not  only  spiritual  and 
mental  consciousness,  but  structural  beauty  as  well. 

Now  while  I  feel  friendly  toward  D.  J.  H.  Ward,  D.  B., 
Ph.  D.,  and  admire  his  investigations  and  general  senti- 
ment in  Anthropology,  yet  I  can  not  yield  to  a  remark 
he  made  to  the  effect  that  children  are  born  savages  and 
if  not  civilized  remain  barbarians  (which  may  account 
for  the  uncivilized  condition  of  at  least  a  fourth  of  the 


io  Mother's  Help  and 

men).  He  did  not  say  that  it  was  an  exception  and  due 
to  an  arrest  in  prenatal  evolution  at  one  of  the  last  stages. 
I  do  well  know  that  some  people  carry  the  animal  stamp  so 
visibly  as  to  leave  no  room  for  doubt  that  Nature  worked 
at  so  great  a  disadvantage  that  the  inhuman,  uncivilized 
result  is  a  reproach  to  those  who  arrested  her ;  this  is 
unnatural,  and  we  hope,  an  exception.  I  know  that 
children  at  their  very  worst  are  not  so  barbaric  as  some 
men  who  were  amiable  and  wise  in  childhood.  Then 
too  the  experiments  of  Dr.  Tanner  and  others  go  to 
refute  the  savage  theory,  for  it  is  found  that  to  take  even . 
the  very  scum — the  ' '  castaways, ' '  and  place  them  in 
natural  environments  with  cleanliness  and  proper  food, 
they  will  improve  even  without  moral  instruction.  The 
secret  being  that  THEY  SEE  AND  HEAR  NO 
EVIL. 

I  think  that  if  Mr.  Ward  and  his  like  thinkers  will 
throw  off  their  green  goggles  they  will  lind  that  Nature, 
if  man  will  give  her  a  chance,  will  evolve  full  fledged 
civilized  children. 

Nevertheless  if  parents  produce  savages,  it  certainly 
is  a  great  misfortune  to  the  children,  and  the  parents 
should  lose  no  time  in  making  reparation  in  the  most 
expedient  manner.  Professor  Ward's  expression  may 
show  up  man  in  his  true  character,  but  it  does  not  be- 
speak man  well,  nor  seem  commensurate  with  his  civil- 
ized attainments  to  be  so  deficient  in  this  most  important 
function  of  his  life.  This  is  indeed  a  grave  question  ; 
and  one  that  merits  more  attention  than  it  is  receiving. 

What  shall  we  do  with  the  question,  ladies  and  gen- 
tlemen,— dismiss  it,  lay  it  on  the  table,  or  discuss  it  ? 

It  has  been  found  that  the  organism  has  (ist)  Infinite 
complexity  of  structure  ; 

(2)  Inherited  tendencies  ; 


Child* 's  Friend.  n 

(3)  Mobility  and  continuous  motion,  therefore  capac- 
ity to  vary  ; 

(4)  Variations  are  induced  by  the  surroundings  on 
which  as  carriers  of  energy,  life  depends  ; 

(5)  When   the   surroundings  change,   the   organism 
adapts  itself  or  not  to  the  change  ; 

(6)  Such  as  fail  to  adapt  themselves  perish  ; 

(7)  Such  as  do  adapt  themselves  vary  in  greater  or 
lesser  degree  ; 

(8)  These  variations,  being  transmitted,  are  stages  in 
the   development  of  different   life-forms.      To   put   the 
matter  briefly,    likenesses   are   inherited,  variations   ac- 
quired. 

In  really,  true  man  fashion,  Newton  tries  to  relieve 
man  of  responsibility  by  placing  it  all  upon  woman,  say- 
ing that :  Evidences  point  immistakably  to  the  conclu- 
sion that  the  indulgences  of  any  evil  desire  or  thought 
on  the  part  of  the  mother,  during  the  period  of  gestation, 
is  likely  to  infuse,  through  the  inevitable  force  of  mental 
or  physical  impressions,  a  subtle  moral  virus  into  the 
very  texture  of  the  young  life  that  is  being  so  marvel- 
ously  wrought  within.  A  virus  which  poisons  to  a  greater 
or  less"  extent  the  formations  of  its  being,  blunts  its  moral 
sense  and  thus  deadens  its  realization  in  after  life  of  an 
enormity  of  the  vicious  or  criminal  tendency  which  may 
be  so  implanted. 

Now,  while  I  agree  that  every  word  of  this  is  true,  I 
none  the  less  hold  man  up  to  his  moral  obligation  in  the 
case.  His  evil  desire  and  thoughts,  poison  both  mother 
and  child.  And  I  find  upon  investigation  that  where 
woman's  evil  desires  are  not  actually  produced  by  her 
companion,  they  are  not  so  deep  rooted  but  that  he  can, 
by  a  little  kindly  persuasion,  help  her  to  overcome  them, 
or  ward  them  off  entirely.  Here  must  be  co-operation. 


12  Mother's  Help  and 

The  unity  of  pure  thought  and  action  will  result  in  har- 
mony and  perfection. 

It  is  a  common  thing  for  very  pious  persons  to  say 
that  we  are  conceived  in  sin  and  born  in  iniquity,  that  it 
is  natural  to  be  bad,  and  that  we  can  only  be  good  by  be- 
ing converted.  Now  would  n't  it  be  far  better  to  depend 
a  little  less  on  conversion  for  goodness  and  lay  more  stress 
on  the  importance  of  being  conceived  and  born  of  pure 
desire  and  love  ?  It  is  high  time  that  the  matter-of-fact 
way  of  alluding  to  this  grave  error  be  substituted  by  an 
interest  for  the  child  of  a  more  hopeful  nature.  That 
this  old  expression  is  most  frequently  verified,  is  true 
enough  to  appall  us  ;  but  we  should  protest  against  being 
obliged  to  hear  every  day  that  it  is  natural  to  be  mean  or 
bad  or  sinful ,  it  is  not  natural ;  it  is  abnormal  for  any 
created  living  thing  to  be  evil,  most  of  all  the  human 
being,  whom  Nature  and  her  God  created  as  a  medium 
through  which  the  highest  quality  or  entity  of  which  we 
know  works  out  its  object  of  life.  Here  we  are  embodied 
that  we  may  purify  and  progress,  but  we  are  constantly 
defeating  the  object  of  life,  and  go  into  the  next  without 
having  made  any  progress. 

When  children  die  young,  people  say  it  was  a  wise 
Providence  that  took  them  !  Now  I  can  not  see  any  con- 
sistency in  such  talk,  for  if  it  were  good  to  be  removed 
in  infancy,  then  there  would  have  been  no  maturity — all 
would  have  died  young.  I  hold  that  it  is  greatly  to  our 
spiritual  disadvantage  to  fail  to  get  the  full-time  expe- 
rience for  which  this  life  was  intended. 

People  are  too  fond  of  putting  their  own  misdemean- 
ors on  God.  When  they  fail  to  keep  the  precepts,  fail  to 
have  their  children  born  of  good  blood  and  pure  thought, 
fail  to  have  them  come  perfect,  complete  and  remain  so ; 
then  of  these  failures  they  are  ashamed  and  blame  God. 


Child's  Friend.  13 

These  persons  carry  an  air  of  responsibility,  and  even  go 
so  far  as  to  make  improvements  on  God's  plans  ;  but  as 
soon  as  these  plans  fail,  the  failure  is  at  once  pronounced 
the  "Hand  of  Providence."  Often  we  hear  one  say, 
"  Well,  I  can't  help  how  I  look,  I  am  as  God  made  me." 
This  is  false.  Mankind  is  the  highest  type  of  creation, 
and  so  like  unto  the  Creator  as  to  be  in  turn  able  to  cre- 
ate and  aid  Nature  (but  we  hinder  more  than  we  aid). 
God  gave  us  the  model,  the  type,  the  life,  and  the  ele- 
ments with  which  to  create,  all  these  are  at  our  disposal ; 
and  we  may  select  as  we  like.  Many  select  as  they  would 
for  winter  garments  ;  some  there  are  who  elect  with  re- 
gard to  taste  and  utility,  while  others  select  and  attire 
themselves  in  a  manner  that  at  once  expresses  gaudiness 
loud,  coarse  taste,  want  of  economy  and  general  fitness 
of  things  ;  and  some  who  choose  for  looks  that  which 
proves  flimsy  and  perishable.  In  like  manner  we  find 
those  who  clothe  their  children's  souls  and  their  own 
not  for  lack  of  good  and  appropriate  elements  at  their 
command,  bxit  out  of  disregard  for  their  own  best  interest 
and  that  of  our  children.  (We  are  creators — builders — 
and  it  is  in  our  power  to  clothe  the  God-given  life  force  in 
the  manner,  after  the  model  given  us  and  out  of  wholesome 
elements,  such  alone  as  He  intended  should  enter  into 
the  building  of  the  earthly  bodyJ. 

Anything  grows  by  what  it  is  fed  on.  If  we  wish 
to  grow  immorality  and  ugliness,  feed  the  body  on 
coarse  foods,  narcotics,  intemperate  drinks ;  and  the 
mind  with  evil  thoughts,  coarse,  vulgar  literature,  to- 
gether with  bad  associations  and  you  soon  develop  a 
criminal  even  if  it  were  not  by  inheritance  in  him.  But 
when  all  these  are  added  to  an  inborn  (inherited  from 
parents  or  marked)  desire  for  sin,  then  we  have  a  crimi- 
nal of  a  dangerous  type.  While  all  this  will  produce  a 


14  Mother's  Help  and 

criminal,  the  same  amount  or  less  of  effort  rightly 
directed,  will  develop  morality — I  say  with  less  effort  be- 
cause Nature  is  ready  to  serve  us. 

The  allwise  Creator  has  made  laws  that  governor  all 
things,  and  EVERY  THING  IN  ITS  PLACE  is  GOOD,  nothing 
is  bad.  God  never  created  any  thing  bad.  It  is  only 
when  we  misappropriate  a  thing  or  element  that  it  results 
in  evil.  It  is  the  inharmonious  relationship  into  which 
we  bring  the  good  thing,  that  creates  the  undesirable 
results — ugliness  or  evil. 

Any  element,  substance,  thing,  or  thought  we  use  or 
place  where  it  was  never  intended  tc  be,  is  out  of  place 
and  at  discord.  Any  and  all  notes,  or  £  musical  instru- 
ment, are  intended  for  harmony  ;  but  how  readily  when 
out  of  place — united  with  others  not  in  harmony  with 
them,  and  with  which  it  was  never  intended  they  should 
be  combined,  they  lose  their  melody  and  give  forth 
instead,  harsh  discords  from  which  we  of  sensitive  refined 
organisms  instinctively  shrink.  So  it  is  in  all  creation  ; 
no  exception  in  the  human.  And  the  best  way  to  be  rid 
of  general  ugliness  is  to  acquire  harmony.  L,ay  aside 
some  of  the  useless  occupations  to  which  we  give  our 
time,  and  take  up  the  study  of  our  trinity. 

If  we  were  born  out  of  harmony — of  inharmony — we 
must  fight  or  plan  the  harder  to  overcome  the  discords 
our  parents  bestowed  on  us,  in  addition  to  the  work  of 
our  own  share,  and  which  it  was  intended  we  should  per- 
form. Therefore  parents  can  best  fill  their  field  of  useful- 
ness and  show  their  love  to  the  children  by  bringing  the 
God-given  elements  into  a  harmonious  production  of  hu- 
manity in  the  children;  this  will  at  the  same  time  unbur- 
den them  a  considerable,  unfetter  them  for  a  greater  attain- 
ment of  the  spiritual  qualities  that  combine  in  making  the 
next  existence  the  veritable  Heaven  of  which  we  dream. 


Child's  Friend. 


ittoral  Education. 

"  Pestilence  should  be  abolished  by  hygenic  science  and  edu- 
cation, poverty  by  industrial  education  and  science,  war  and  crime 
by  moral  education."— -Joseph  Rhodes  Buchanan. 

HE  Moral  Education  of  the  child  must 
be  its  first  education  and  continue 
throughout.  This  does  not  necessa- 
rily mean  religious  education.  As  one 
may  be  very  religious  and  yet  very 
immoral,  while  another  may  not  pro- 
fess religion  and  still  be  exceedingly 
moral.  Of  the  two  it  is  better  to  be  the  lat- 
ter. But  teach  morality  first  and  religion 
will  come  easily  later  on.  This  education 
will  not  debar  you  from  attending  to  its  physical  develop- 
ment, not  at  all,  it  will  aid  you  ;  for  morality  is  the  most 
invigorating  aroma  with  which  to  infuse  the  child's 
everyday  life,  growth  and  amusement  as  well  as  its 
education. 

Falsehoods  and  misrepresentations  on  the  part  of  the 
mother  are  the  greatest  impediments  in  the  way  of  the 
child's  success.  This  statement  always  surprises  the 
mother  ;  but  upon  reflection  you  will  see  I  am  not  exag- 
gerating. Even  a  seemingly  model  mother  will  begin 
perhaps  unknowingly — to  deceive  the  infant  in  the  cra- 
dle. And  that  is  the  time  the  seed  is  sown  in  the  child 
ready  for  growth  and  future  development.  The  very 


1 6  Mother's  Help  and 

common  and  frequent  repetition  of  this  evil  game  of 
deception  on  the  child,  can  naught  else  than  develop  in 
it,  skill  in  the  same  game.  The  parent  and  nurse,  hav- 
ing acquired  this  habit  early  in  life,  are  scarcely  conscious 
of  the  extent  to  which  they  carry  it.  Not  even  are  they 
conscious  of  its  origin  when  they  see  it  reflected  in  the 
child — their  mirror.  And  as  George  Eliot  said — There 
is  no  killing  the  suspicion  that  deceit  has  once  begotten. 

Many  times  have  mothers  said  to  me,  that  it  is  natu- 
ral for  a  child  to  lie.  Even  the  black  mammy  in  the 
South  says, — "  De  chile  always  knows  how  to  lie,  but  you 
must  teach  it  to  tell  de  trufe. ' '  How  did  the  child  come 
to  know  how  to  lie  ?  Watch,  as  closely  as  I  have  done, 
the  operations  upon  the  infant,  of  every  word  and  look 
of  the  mother. 

The  Science  of  Man  is  a  beautiful  study  and  reveals 
more  fully  God's  wise  laws  and  our  misappropriation  of 
His  generous  provisions. 

(l  do  not  want  a  more  interesting  study  than  the  child 
furnishes  me  ;  it  is  at  once  the  teacher  and  the  lesson. 
And  our  very  choicest  efforts  at  training  children,  are 
more  than  tenfold  rewarded  by  the  lessons  they  furnish 
us  if  we  do  but  look  well  into  them.  Try  it  dear  friends, 
and  reap  the  joy  that  has  been  mine.^  You  will  no  longer 
say  their  badness  is  natural,  any  more  than  so  far  as  the 
habit  established  becomes  a  second  nature — its  first  nature 
was  good,  and  if  the  bad  had  not  been  implanted  in  it  by 
the  parents,  it  would  have  remained  good,  which  is  truly 
natural. 

Win  the  child  to  obedience  by  love  rather  than  by 
promises  falsely  made  and  falsely  kept.  What  fine  trait 
can  a  child  develop  when  kept  submissive  under  a  cloud 
of  deceit,  as  is  the  case  when  it  is  kept  in  fear  of  the 
ragman,  the  bugabooman,  or  the  policeman  ;  or  that  it 


Child's  Friend.  17 

will  be  deprived  of  a  delicacy — which  you  will  likely  as 
not  forget  to  give  it,  or  perhaps  never  intended  to  give  it 
even  if  it  obeyed  ?  I  say,  what  fine  trait  will  this  develop  ? 
Not  an  open,  honest,  truthful  character,  I  am  sure.  No, 
its  trait  of  character  will  be  without  symmetry.  It  will 
be  scarred  and  jagged  by  the  many  false  impressions  we 
have  reflected  upon  it.  Have  we  any  right  to  do  this  ? 
Here  a  mother  says  the  child  is  her  own  and  she  can  do 
with  it  what  she  pleases  ;  while  in  reality  children  are 
the  property  of  God.  He  permits  them  to  enter  our  care 
that  we  through  adopting  them  may  have  a  tie  of  holy 
nature  to  bind  us  into  one  common  family  so  closely  that 
there  need  be  no  alienation  from  one  another  and  our 
Father  and  Oversoul. 

The  HOPE  and  JOY  with  which  CHILDHOOD'S 
CONFIDENCE,  MIRTH,  and  LIFE-FORCE  ANI- 
MATE US  and  KEEP  US  ALIVE  FOR  TO-MORROW, 
is  too  seldom  appreciated  by  us. 

Children  are  entitled  to  the  kindest,  most  candid,  and 
truthful  consideration  of  which  we  are  capable  and  can 
cultivate  in  their  interests; 

The  mother  fancies  that  it  will  be  tiresome  to  her  to 
constantly  keep  herself  reminded  to  be  truthful  with  her 
children.  Well,  supposing  it  is  tiresome  to  her,  the  child 
has  at  least  the  right  to  be  honestly  dealt  with.  Besides, 
look  a  little  in  advance  and  see  the  inexpressible  joy  it 
will  be  to  the  mother  to  be  richly  rewarded  in  later  life 
by  the  uprightness  of  that  son  or  daughter  as  the  result 
of  having  been  honestly  dealt  with  in  infancy  and  youth. 
Misrepresentation  and  deceit  are  bad  enough  when  dealt 
out  to  adults  ;  but  when  we  subject  our  children  to  such 
treachery,  the  sin  is  unpardonable  !  It  is  atrocious  !  ! 


1 8  Mother's  Help  and 

' '  Thou  must  be  true  thyself  if  thou  the  truth  would 
teach." 

*,* 

* 

It  shows  great  short-sightedness  in  women  to  spend 
their  time  wailing  because  they  can't  occupy  high  polit- 
ical positions  ;  while  really  they  have  an  incomparably 
greater  sceptre  in  the  pliable  young  heart  and  brain  at 
home  in  the  cradle.  Here  none  can  gainsay  woman's 
supremacy. 

Men  have  control  with  the  present,  but  what  need 
she  care  for  that  old  broken-down  demoralized  material, 
as  compared  with  the  new  unmolded  vigor  in  the 
mother's  hands  right  where  she  may  shape  it ;  reign 
supreme  while  infusing  into  the  new  body,  mind,  and 
soul  the  healthy  moral  sentiment  she  so  longs  to  dispense 
from  the  political  chair  to-day.  She  waits  a  little  longer 
to  be  sure  and  then  speaks  through  another's  lips — that 
is  all — lips  that  shall  give  her  the  glory  and  the  blessing 
for  which  she  has  so  long  and  patiently  waited. 

Her  voice,  her  sentiment  shall  accumulate  force  ready 
for  expression.  How?  I^et  the  mothers  meet  and  put 
their  heads  together — plot  and  plan  for  the  future,  quietly, 
but  be  sure  to  let  your  hearts  into  the  secret,  as  the  soul 
must  inspire  you  for  the  scheme  before  you.  This  proj- 
ect if  properly  followed  up  will  carry  with  it  more  joy  to 
the  mother  and  everlasting  good  to  the  child  than  could 
be  gotten  out  of  any  amount  of  political  offices  of  to- 
day. Not  that  I  object  to  political  sanitation — heaven 
knows  there  is  sore  need  of  it.  But  my  idea  is  to  not 
neglect  the  home.  Look  closely  and  guardedly  to  the 
more  valuable  material — Youth.  These  quiet  meetings 
I  suggest  as  a  means  for  study,  discussion,  and  co-opera- 
tion. Here  we  may  pleasantly  devise  the  best  possible 


Child'' s  Friend.  19 

peaceful  means  of  education  leading  up  to  the  object  to 
be  achieved. 

As  we  do  not  intend  our  children  to  be  a  warlike 
people,  the  military  academy  with  its  demoralizing  in- 
fluence is  to  be  "  scratched  off ' '  our  list  of  KNOWLEDGE 
TO  BE  ACQUIRED  ;  as  we  do  not  intend  they  shall  sport 
a  gladiatorial  arena,  the  pugilistic  exercises  leading  to 
prize  sports  may  be  rubbed  off  the  list ;  as  we  shall  be 
too  busy  looking  to  the  interest  of  our  live  new  people, 
the  dead  languages  must  go.  See,  we  are  getting  on 
nicely  and  shall  have  saved  much  valuable  time  and  con- 
served human  energy  to  be  applied  to  REAL  CULTURE 
for  the  ideal  man  that  is  to  administer  a  faultless  gov- 
ernment. 

Keep  up  these  quiet  meetings  and  knit  yourselves 
together  in  friendly  ties,  all  with  the  one  aim  in  view,  that 
of  purifying  and  ennobling  the  human  family — the  gen- 
erations to  come,  in  which  your  children  are  to  live.  Let 
us  do  all  in  our  power  to  make  their  environments  not 
only  more  bearable  than  ours  were  and  are,  but  such  as 
shall  lift  them  up  into  a  higher  moral,  and  physical,  as 
well  as  mental  plane. 

' '  The  material  development  of  our  country  is  im- 
mensely in  advance  of  its  legislation  and  jurisprudence." 

There  are  too  many  vampires  feeding  off  others,  they 
adopt  the  game  of  take,  but  elbow  themselves  out  of  the 
game  of  give.  Take  and  give  go  well  together.  To 
feed  others  and  be  fed  ;  this  mutual  helpfulness  is  good 
for  the  mind,  soul  and  body.  For  this  reason  it  is  better 
to  live  out  among  the  people  than  to  dwell  in  isolation. 
If  we  isolate  ourselves  we  shall  soon  revert  to  barbarism. 
The  race  has  acquired  its  complexity  and  high  organiza- 
tion through  sociability.  And  we  see  that  even  a  greater 
degree  of  fraternity  must  be  established  before  we  can 


20  Mother's  Help  and 

hope  to  put  away  the  cudgel,  the  gun  and  the  hangman's 
rope. 

Brotherly  love  is  not  the  outgrowth  of  isolated  life  ; 
nor  is  the  humane  heart  the  fruit  of  an  appetite  that 
seeks  for  food  that  which  has  in  it  blood  ;  nor  is  the 
highest  aspiration  or  tenderest  emotion  inspired  by  a 
body  built  up  of  food  procured  by  slaughter.  The  flesh 
and  blood  of  animals  is  like  unto  our  own.  Especially 
does  the  slaughter  of  the  domesticated  animal  come  so 
near  home  to  us  and  accustom  us  so  to  carnage,  that  the 
one  step  extends  it  to  the  human  family  and  human  car- 
nage is  the  result. 

Usage  may  make  the  destruction  of  life — killing — en- 
durable even  to  the  extent  of  a  pleasure,  as  we  know  it 
has  to  at  least  a  third  of  mankind  ;  but  that  is — as  we 
know  of  many  other  customs — not  making  it  right  nor 
unbarbaric. 

How  very  many  wrongs  we  suffer  because  man's 
depraved  desires  or  whims  have  made  such  wrongs  cus- 
tomary. And  yet  we  know  in  this  age  full  well  that 
man's  tastes  should  no  longer  be  so  supreme  as  to  make 
Wrong  really  Right,  although  he  holds  on  to  the  rights 
he  has  established,  like  a  tiger. 

So  dependent  upon  each  other  have  we  became,  that 
if  we  do  but  have  a  level  head  we  can  readily  see  that 
war,  or  even  enmity  between  our  nation  and  one  on  the 
opposite  side  of  the  globe  may  cause  us  not  only  serious 
inconvenience,  but  distress.  This  dependence  we  have 
acquired  with  our  complexity  of  structure — physical, 
mental,  and  social,  then  we  see,  makes  it  well-nigh 
imperative  that  we  substitute  for  the  sword  the  pen  ; 
and  for  bloodthirstiness  and  revenge — brotherly  love. 

Sociability  to  the  extent  of  universal  brotherhood  will 


Child's  Friend.  21 

preserve  the  good  the  race  has  acquired  and  help  it  on  to 
another  gradation  higher. 

*** 

Mr.  Smart. — Let  me  carry  the  dog,  my  dear,  and  you 
carry  the  baby. 

Mrs.  Smart. — No,  No !  You  carry  the  baby,  I 
could  n't  trust  you  with  Zip,  you  might  drop  him. 

This  reminds  me  that  I  returned  the  call  of  a  society 
lady  not  long  ago,  who,  I  found,  had  a  most  beautiful 
wicker  dog-basket  in  her  family  room.  She  invited  me  to 
look  through  her  pretty  new  house.  In  her  own  spacious 
and  finely  furnished  front  chamber  she  called  my  attention 
to  another  basket  even  more  luxurious  than  the  one  be- 
low, in  which  Zolo  slept  at  night.  But  I  was  anxious 
to  see  the  babe  and  its  basket.  She  showed  me  through 
other  rooms  first  and  then  on  into  a  back  room  finely 
furnished,  }ret  having  a  distinct  aroma  from  the  kitchen 
below  and  the  windows  overlooking  the  barns  and  alley, 
from  which  issued  words  of  profanity  in  no  undertone. 
That  the  infant  is  too  young  as  yet  to  be  disturbed  by 
such,  is  fortunate  for  it ;  but  shortly  it  will  begin  to  con- 
ceive in  its  mind,  that  its  little  world  is  not  just  as 
harmonious  as  it  should  be. 

And  the  wet  nurse — though  she  was  neatly  and  well 
dressed — had  a  disagreeable  face  and  bad  breath,  which 
I  readily  detected  while  she  was  showing  me  the  babe. 
Now  I  hold  that  any  one  who  persists  in  having  bad 
breath  is  unfit  to  have  care  of  a  child.  For  it  shows  the 
presence  of  decayed  teeth,  catarrh,  or  a  vile,  unclean 
stomach  ;  in  any  case  it  is  INEXCUSABLE  and  she  is  unfit 
to  be  with  the  child. 

It  is  our  duty  to  aid  animals  in  their  effort  to  evolve 
higher  type  in  structure  and  soul  element.  But  I  doubt 
if  the  dog's  conditions  are  really  improved  by  his  being 


22  Mother's  Help  and 

domesticated  to  such  an  extent.  At  the  same  time  we 
know  that  the  child's  conditions  would  be  greatly  en- 
hanced by  the  consistent  exercise  of  a  little  more  wisdom 
regarding  all  that  pertains  to  the  immortal  well-being  of 
our  progeny. 

Dr.  R.  T.  Trail  said  that  if  it  were  not  for  woman— 
her  sympathy  and  care — man  would  soon  revert  to  bar- 
barism ;  according  to  which  this  lady's  dog  may  be  no 
small  factor  in  dethroning  her  own  child. 

Human  nature,  as  well  as  all  other  nature,  is  ever 
moving,  ever  changing  ;  and  if  not  in  environs  which 
permit  of  progress,  it  must  of  necessity  retrograde. 

It  should  be  very  humiliating  to  us,  to  produce  sons 
and  daughters  inferior  to  ourselves  ;  for  in  so  doing  we 
express  no  use  of  our  life,  whereas  if  we  raise  up  men  and 
women  superior  to  ourselves  we  have  made  at  least  one 
good  step  on  the  ascending  ladder. 

To  WISELY  APPROPRIATE  THE  OPPORTUNITIES  AS 
THEY  PRESENT  THEMSELVES,  is  LIKE  WEAVING  A 
STRAND  OF  PEARLS;  BUT  OPPORTUNITIES  SOUGHT  FOR 
AND  WISELY  APPROPRIATED,  ENRICH  OUR  LIVES  AS  OUR 
OWN  FINDING  OF  THE  PEARLS  ENHANCES  THEIR  VALUE 

TO  US. 

The  influence,  for  good,  children  have  on  older  per- 
sons, when  rightly  taught,  or  I  might  say  when  left  alone 
and  not  taught  evil,  is  by  no  means  trifling  or  to  be 
ignored.  Their  sweet,  trusting  natures  and  winsome 
ways,  search  us,  and  if  we  are  susceptible  to  their  purify- 
ing, their  divine  influence,  we  shall  be  better  for  their 
presence. 

A  man  who  had  long  since  forgotten  the  time  when 
he  was  a  ' '  tender-foot ' '  in  the  thorny  path  of  heedless 
business  life,  went  to  pay  an  evening  call  upon  friends, 
and  failing  to  find  them  in  he  volunteered  to  await  their 


Child's  Friend.  23 

early  return.  Soon  he  heard  a  little  voice  in  the  adjoin- 
ing room  calling  "  Goodie,  Goodie!"  As  Goodie  (the 
nursemaid)  made  no  response,  he  stepped  in  and  asked 
what  little  Carrie  wanted.  "  I  want  Goodie  to  hear  me 
pray  so  I  can  go  to  sleep."  She  was  tucked  cosily  in 
her  crib  ready  for  sleep.  "  I  will  hear  you  pray,"  said 
the  man  ;  then  she  proceeded,  and  in  closing  with,— 
' '  God  bless  papa  and  mamma  and  everybody  dear  Lord 
Amen. — Everybody  means  you,"  said  she,  fearing  he 
would  feel  slighted.  This  done  she,  with  a  smile  of  satis- 
faction, fell  peacefully  asleep.  And  he — he  fell  to  think- 
ing as  he  never  thought  before.  Way  deep  down  into 
his  soul  went  that  little  child's  prayer,  where  no  strong 
man's  prayer  had  ever  penetrated.  Her  very  innocent, 
simple,  trusting,  unselfish  child-way  found  his  soul — the 
divine  spark  in  him  that  had  lain  waiting  for  just  such  a 
sunbeam  to  kindle  it  into  light  and  activity.  In  her 
tender  frailty  was  her  power. 

So  much  for  said  teaching.  So  much  for  not  having 
had  the  child  tucked  way  off  in  a  back  room.  The 
nurse's  neglect,  and  the  absence  of  the  little  one's  parents 
were  overruled  for  good  to  the  man.  He  related  the  fore- 
going experience,  which  was  only  one  of  many  instances 
of  this  same  child's  effective  missionary  work.  Mothers, 
think  you  not  that  it  was  worth  while  to  keep  her  little 
mind  pure  ?  Was  it  not  a  wise  arrangement  to  have  a 
curtained  crib  in  the  sitting-room  or  convenient  to  it  ?  I 
am  sure  a  pretty  crib  is  infinitely  more  beautiful,  poet- 
ical, and  humane,  than  a  draped  spinning-wheel  or  stuffed 
peacock,  or  even  the  dog-basket. 

CHILDREN  ARE  THE  BEST  MISSIONARIES 
WE-  HAVE  ;  LET  US  KEEP  THEM  CLOSE  TO  US. 

The  moral  education  of  the  child  should  be  inculcated 
in  full  proportion  to  the  growth  and  expansion  of  the 


24  Mother's  Help  and 

mind.  In  this  way  there  will  be  no  danger  that  the  ani- 
mal nature  or  lower  faculties  will  gain  ascendency  over 
his  better  faculties. 

Rouse  the  moral  conscience  to  full  activity  ;  not  only 
will  this  dominate  over  and  hold  in  abeyance  the  phys- 
ical nature,  but  it  will  actually  enlarge  the  mind.  For 
as  Rev.  G.  C.  Lorimer,  D.  D.,  wisely  said,  "Godliness 
expands  the  intellect  and  enables  us  to  live  for  two 
worlds."  And  on  this  high  ground  woman  claims  the 
right  corresponding  to  her  responsibility  as  a  race  builder, 
to  control  her  person  and  the  functions  of  maternity. 
Without  this  divine  right  social  purity  is  a  myth,  says 
Mrs.  Lucinda  B.  Chandler,  and  social  purity  depends 
more  upon  the  moral  status  of  marriage  than  upon  any 
one  other  fact  or  condition. 

That  woman's  work  in  the  home  has  been  held  of  no 
commercial  value,  and  has  secured  no  financial  independ- 
ence to  the  wife,  has  lowered  the  self-respect  of  woman 
and  degraded  marriage. 

If  there  is  any  office  on  earth  that  deserves  recognition 
it  is  that  of  motherhood,  and  should  be  endowed  with 
commercial  independence.  This  would  relieve  her  of 
the  anxiety  that  is  of  such  great  hinderance  to  her  in 
the  discharge  of  her  moral  work  in  the  home — in  the 
nation. 

TEACH  THE  CHILD  THE  SACREDNESS  OF 
THE  BODY.  The  lack  of  this  teaching  is  the  most 
common  source  of  immorality.  The  reason  of  this  neg- 
lect is  probably  because  the  marriage  ceremony  has 
erroneously  licensed  sexual  immorality.  It  would  nat- 
urally seem  that  immorality  in  this  direction  should  be 
even  less  tolerated  in  marriage  than  out  of  it,  for  the 
sake  of  the  welfare  of  our  coming  generations.  All  the 
virtue  and  vitality  of  the  two  married  should  be  directed 


Child's  Friend.  25 

to  the  upbuilding  of  the  race — not  its  degeneracy — since 
they  by  marriage  have  joined  the  "  race  builders." 

The  body  is  the  temple  of  the  soul ;  but  do  we  treat 
it  as  such  ?  How  many  teach  children  that  the  body  is 
built  for  the  indwelling  of  the  soul,  and  must  by  virtue 
thereof,  be  kept  well,  clean,  and  sacred  ? 

The  fact  that  we  are,  so  to  speak,  lost  in  the  mighty 
crowd  that  now  populates  the  globe,  is  no  reason  why 
we  should  lose  our  desire  for  true  morality.  How  will 
our  grandchildren  fare  ?  Our  responsibility  comes  right 
home  to  us  as  individuals,  and  we  must  answer  for  the 
moral  degeneracy  with  which  we  afflict  the  coming  gen- 
eration. The  moral  conditions  are  just  what  we  make 
them.  And  it  is  useless  to  sit  idly  by  croaking  at  the 
wrong  flow  of  the  moral  tide  and  do  nothing  to  turn  it 
into  proper  channels. 

We  know  from  experience  that  it  is  useless  to  attack 
those  now  in  office,  and  the  generation  grown  unwieldly 
in  self-love — I  can  not  say  self-interest,  because  it  is 
hardly  that.  But  WHILE  WE  HAVE  CHILDHOOD 
WITH  US  WE  HAVE  HOPE  AND  POSSIBILITY. 

The  hope  for  the  next  generation  and  possibility  for 
the  following  one,  through  the  instrumentality  of  child- 
hood rightly  utilized,  are  incalculable.  Let  us  then 
direct  our  thoughts  to  that  end,  rather  than  self-love, 
which  some  mistake  for  individualism.  As  love  is  the 
creative  energy  of  the  universe,  so  let  us  make  our  crea- 
tive energy  of  love.  Love  enriches  us,  it  rejuvenates  us. 
Love  inspires  us  and  urges  us  on  to  heroic,  unselfish 
deeds. 

After  teaching  the  child  cleanliness,  health,  and  the 
sacredness  of  the  body,  we  may  go  on  to  show  how  to 
develop  the  moral  sections  of  the  body  in  order  to  bring 
them  in  advance  of  the  seats  of  the  common  appetites. 


26  Mother's  Help  and 

Let  us  bear  in  mind  that  the  chest  is  the  seat  of  honor, 
and  the  heart  region  is  the  birthplace  of  love  and  all 
tender  emotions.  If  kept  constantly  reminded  of  this, 
the  chest  will  get  its  due  amount  of  vitality  and  will 
serve  as  a  pilot  to  lead  all  aright.  Then  let  us  not  for- 
get to  teach  it  also  that  the  most  difficult  thing  thereafter 
is  "to  keep  the  height  the  soul  has  reached." 

When  we  put  on  our  thinking-cap  and  exercise  our 
reasoning  faculty,  many  of  the  everyday  affairs  which 
usually  seem  all  right  are  shown  up  in  their  true  light. 
If  we  could  here  introduce  an  instantaneous  photograph- 
ing camera,  our  fashionable  ideas  would  be  revealed  so 
ludicrous  as  to  make  good  comic  valentines.  For  exam- 
ple I  will  refer  only  to  our  ignorance  regarding  our  own 
body:  how  a  man  or  woman  will,  after  tenanting  this 
body  many,  many  years,  consult  a  physician,  who  may 
be  only  half  their  age,  as  to  what  ails  them,  how  they 
came  so,  and  what  the  remedy. 

It  is  actually  funny  how  we  came  to  know  so  much 
about  matters  way  off.  How  tall  all  the  mountains  are  ; 
how  many  wars  there  were,  and  who  slew  the  most  men  ; 
know-how  to  analyze  flowers,  and  yet  can  not  analyze 
ourselves. 

That  we  should  be  so  unpardonably  ignorant  about 
ourselves  as  to  have  to  ask  some  one  else  what  we  may 
eat.  Have  we  lived  so  long  in  this  body  and  yet  been  so 
stupid  as  not  to  learn  what  food  is  good  for  us,  and  what 
our  habits  should  be,  better  than  our  neighbor  or,  may  be, 
a  doctor  who  never  saw  us  before  ? 

One  of  the  first  things  we  should  know  is  all  about 
ourselves, — the  laws  that  govern  the   body,  mind,   and 
soul.     It  is  every  child's  birthright  to  be  born  sound 
To  be  taught  how  to  keep  well.     To  understand  himself 
or  herself,  and  the  relation  the  body  bears  to  the  mind 


Child's  Friend.  27 

and  soul ;  and  the  laws  which  govern  the  whole.  Any 
failure  of  ours  to  impart  this  knowledge  to  the  young 
boys  and  girls  should  be  pronounced  a  crime  by  the  peo- 
ple as  it  is  by  the  God  of  Nature. 

*** 

Do  not  give  vent  to  your  temper  in  any  uncharitable 
conduct  toward  a  child  intrusted  to  your  care  ;  it  is  cow- 
ardly and  sinful.  If  you  must  in  a  fit  of  temper  attack 
some  one  do  let  it  be  one  as  strong  as  yourself,  and  not  a 
child. 

What  is  more  base,  when  you  stop  to  reflect,  than 
unkindness  to  a  child  ?  Also  teach  a  child  as  it  grows 
that  it  is  debasing  and  cowardly  to  attack  and  in  any 
way  ill-treat  a  creature  not  able  to  defend  itself. 

It  will  never  develop  any  very  high  standard  of 
morality  if  allowed  to  see,  as  a  whole  school-room  of 
children  did  see,  a  teacher  throw  a  kitten  into  a  red  hot 
fire  and  shut  the  stove  door.  This  teacher  may  have 
been  educating  the  children,  but  not  morally. 

*** 

GENTLENESS  in  WOMAN  has  as  potent  an  in- 
fluence and  power  as  has  man's  strength, — yea  greater, 
for  who  that  had  a  gentle  mother  does  not  remember 
most  distinctly  the  advice  given  by  her  in  a  serene,  lov- 
ing voice  ?  It  makes  a  far  deeper  impression  for  good 
than  highly  pitched,  sharp  words.  Her  gentle  touch 
and  words  seem  to  reach  so  far  that  we  feel  their  rhythmic 
vibrations  many  years  after  she  has  gone  to  serve  us  in 
another  and  even  holier  way. 


28 


Mother's  Help  and 


lEtrucattott. 

EADING  aloud  to  children  is  such 
an  important  part  of  their  educa- 
tion, that  by  a  proper  selection  of 
literature,  a  tremendous  amount  of 
moral  work  may  be  done  that  is 
at  once  a  pleasant  pastime  and 
mental  expansion.  Care  must  be 
exercised  in  the  selection  of  such 
as  has  an  attractive,  bright  moral 
tone,  and  is  as  far  advanced  as  it  is 
possible  for  the  child  to  understand 
without  tiring  its  brain,  and  not  too  long  at  a  stretch, 
will  give  a  healthy,  steady  brain  development  that  will 
abide  by  the  child  for  good  in  long  after  years  and  at  the 
time  being  fill  up  his  time  pleasantly  and  make  him  feel 
that  he  is  of  some  account.  A  word  of  caution,  how- 
ever, is  in  place  here.  Literature  that  is  trashy  begets 
in  the  child  a  taste  for  such,  and  that  which  is  too  simple, 
such  as  requires  no  effort  on  the  part  of  the  child  to  busy 
itself  in  keeping  the  thread  of — is  of  no  value  as  mental 
gymnastics  and  should  be  avoided. 

But  reading  quietly,  deliberately,  is  a  wonderful  agency 
through  which  to  administer  strength  ;  and  gain  entrance 
to,  and  unfoldment  of,  the  child  mind. 

Yes,  reading  to  the  children,  and  as  they  grow  older 
having  them  in  turn  read  to  each  other,  is  a  happy 


Child's  Friend.  29 

method  of  peace-keeping,  that  with  a  judicious  selection 
of  matter,  stories,  travels  or  history,  is  fruitful  of  much 
good.  This  will  gradually  establish  in  them  a  liking 
for  knowledge ;  but  select  with  care,  instructive,  inter- 
esting, moral  literature  else  they  may  get,  when  older,. a 
taste  for  sensational  and  even  immoral  reading  that  often 
absorbs  them  into  a  gluttony  for  such  that  is  as  a  leech, 
draining  them  of  their  moral  vitality. 

Literature — like  most  things  that  were  instituted  for 
the  good  of  humanity,  when  in  the  hands  of  the  unscru- 
pulous, whose  lower  faculties  are  abnormally  developed, 
and  who  cater  to  the  tastes  of  those  of  like  degenerate 
character,  becomes  at  once  a  moral  viper  whose  entranc- 
ing voice  leads  you  on  and  on  until  it  has  poisoned  and 
benumbed  your  moral  sensibilities. 

And  as  the  old-fashioned  folks  said, — Satan  helps  you 
on  till  you  are  well  into  the  meshes,  then  he  leaves  you 
to  extricate  yourself — he  gets  you  in,  but  never  helps 
you  out.  So  take  warning  young  folks  and  read  only 
such  books  as  improve  you. 

After  selecting  for  moral  and  mental  expansion,  you 
want  to  choose  with  a  view  to  the  unfoldment  of  the 
voice.  Having  built  up  moral  beauty  within,  train  the 
vocal  organs  to  give  expression  to  it.  Enter  into  the 
sentiment  of  what  you  read  aloud,  or  rather,  I  might  say, 
saturate  yourself  with  the  sentiment ;  and  before  you 
infuse  yourself  with  another  one's  sentiment,  you  had 
best  relax  the  entire  body,  that  is,  withdraw  the  nervous 
and  muscular  energy  from  your  body,  drop  yourself  back 
into  a  chair,  limp.  Then  when  your  own  energy  is 
withdrawn  you  will  find  it  comparatively  easy  to  rein- 
vigorate  the  body  with  the  sentiment  of  the  character 
you  wish  to  assume. 

By  learning  to   read  well: — with  good  expression — 


30  Mother's  Help  and 

one  may  become  a  fascinating  conversationalist,  and 
good  speaker.  To  be  a  good  talker  is  a  fine  accom- 
plishment ;  but  it  is  equally  desirable  to  be  a  good  list- 
ener. It  is  not  everybody  that  has  or  can  acquire  this 
gift.  Gladstone  and  a  few  of  our  great  men  and  women 
have  both  these  accomplishments,  and  it  would  be  an 
excellent  plan  for  some  of  us  to  follow  their  example  in 
alternating  our  chattering  with  spells  of  listening  to 
others. 

*** 

The  more  we  study  into  the  material  organism  of  the 
human  being  and  its  spiritual  nature,  the  more  do  we 
find  that  it  ought  to  be  considered  a  positive  disgrace  to 
be  sick.  For  in  this  enlightened  age  with  the  facilities 
we  have  for  easily  acquiring  familiarity  with  Physiology 
and  Hygiene  and  of  knowing  our  relation  to  Nature  and 
her  God,  we  are  enabled  to  see  that  certain  combinations 
of  elements  and  circumstances  will  produce  forces  that 
find  no  affinity  in  our  organism  and  so  soon  as  they  are 
subjected  to  each  other  will  they  wage  war.  And  this  self- 
imposed  inharmony — sickness — many  persons  have  the 
inconsistency,  the  "gall  "  to  attribute  to  Providence. 

And  yet  we  brag  of  our  school  system  ;  what  does  it 
teach  ?  A  lot  of  word  by  rote  ;  parrot  work  that  unfits 
a  child's  mind  for  understanding  himself  and  his  sur- 
roundings. Not  until  recently  has  any  movement  been 
afoot  to  have  the  child  unfold  himself,  evolve  in  his  mind 
a  searching  for  the  laws  and  phenomena  of  Nature.  The 
Kindergarten  is  indeed  the  vista  which,  though  not 
opened  to  us  till  the  eleventh  hour,  may  yet  prove  to  be 
the  salvation  of  the  children  from  the  abyss  into  which 
the  regular  system  would  have  led  them. 

The  Kindergarten  leads  the  child  intelligently  on  up 
to  where  the  "Science  of  Man  "  might  be  linked  to  it  by 


Child's  Friend.  31 

primary  physiology,  thus  forming  a  chain  for  normal 
unfoldment,  that  would  be  a  positive  pleasure  to  the 
child  now  and  a  health  preserver  in  later  years.  This 
knowledge  of  paramount  value  acquired — then  thoroughly 
knowing  himself  or  herself  the  child  may  reach  outside 
and  learn  his  relations  to  outside  objects,  and  how  best 
to  promote  their  interests  and  his  own. 

One  of  the  pernicious  school  studies  is  the  War  His- 
tory. This  can  not  be  too  severely  condemned.  This 
history  of  war  excites  in  the  child  an  abnormal  spirit  of 
emulation  that  is  at  variance  with  nature  and  morality 
and  is  like  a  fruit-worm  ;  it  goes  right  to  the  core,  there 
to  carry  on  the  process  of  eating  out  the  moral  vitality 
that  is  in  the  child. 

This  study  is  unhealthful  in  proportion  to  the  un- 
healthiness  of  soldiery  itself;  which  is  undermining  the 
health  of  the  earth's  populace. 

"  Statistics  show  that  the  mortality  of  the  soldiers  in 
the  home  army,  though  picked  men,  is  almost  double 
that  of  civilians." — Chambers  Cyclopedia. 

"  Take  away  the  sword;  States  can  be  saved  without 
it — bring  me  the  pen." — Bulwer. 


Mother's  Help  and 


ARENTAL   AUTHORITY  should 
be  regarded  as  vicegerent  authority 
set  up  by  God  and  ruling  in  His 
stead.      A  parent   is   to    the  child 
what  God  is  to  a  good  man  or  wom- 
an.    He  is  the  moral  governor  of 
its  world  of  childhood.      Parental 
government  is  therefore  only  genuine  when 
it  rules  for  the  same  ends  as  God  pursues. 
But  how  seldom  is  this  ideal  even  in  a  small 
way  realized.     We  rule  as  parents  in  a  careless 
irresponsible   way,   making    laws,   not   for    the    child's 
highest  and  most  lasting  good,  but  for  our  own  selfish 
convenience  or  for  the  gratification  of  vanity. 

When  I  see  people  wield  a  barbaric  authority  over 
their  children,  or  accuse  them  of  having  evil  traits  inher- 
ited from  the  other  side  of  the  family,  I  whisper  to  my- 
self, 'Tis  well  if  the  child  does  not  possess  your  traits. 
It  was  Nature's  design  to  have  the  child  good,  and  it 
would  be,  if  the  parents  would  allow  it  to  be  born  right. 
But  it  is  only  in  rare  instances  that  Nature's  designs  are 
not  thwarted.  Children  do  accomplish  wonders  when 
we  stop  to  consider  the  antagonizing  forces  that  combine 
daily  against  their  efforts. 

Go  out  into  the  garden  and  carefully  raise  a  stick,  or 
chip,  and  see  the  effort  some  little  plant  is  making  to  rid 
itself  of  the  burden  and  grow  up  straight  and  symmet- 
rical ;  but  is  unable  to  do  so,  and  must  of  a  necessity 


Child'1  s  Friend.  33 

grow  up  crooked,  and  you  can  get  a  faint  idea  of  the 
effort  of  nature  in  childhood. 

The  most  common-minded  of  us  would  scarce  expect 
nature  to  give  us  a  fine  flower  garden  if  we  persisted  in 
dumping  rubbish  on  it.  And  yet  in  the  case  of  our  off- 
spring we  dump  rubbish  and  then  growl  at  the  results. 

*** 

While  I  think  we  should  have  a  fair  amount  of  vener- 
ation for  the  aged,  I  positively  do  not  approve  of  neg- 
lecting the  children  in  favor  of  the  old  folks.  And  I  do 
also  believe  an  old  person  is  often  the  cause  of  a  grand- 
son ending  in  prison  or  on  the  gallows.  It  is  a  much 
too  common  thing  to  hear  a  weary,  annoyed  mother  say, 
"Children  go  out  and  play,  grandma  is  nervous  and 
does  not  like  your  noise. ' '  And  the  result  is  that  they  are 
in  the  street.  Now  pastures  green  are  good  for  children; 
but  in  crowded  cities,  especially  is  the  street  a  poisonous 
educator  of  the  young  character.  While  the  grand- 
parents have  had  their  day  of  pleasure  and  usefulness. 
And  I  should  say,  "Grandma,  go  to  your  room,  my  duty 
is  to  my  children."  I  have  seen  so  much  of  the  petting 
and  encouraging  of  cranky  old  people's  whims,  to  the 
detriment  of  the  pliable  3*oung  character  which  is  mean- 
time being  molded  by  the  street  gamin,  ready  for  use. 
And  of  what  use  will  that  character  be  ? 

All  who  have  opportunity  and  inclination  to  use  an 
influence  for  good  among  the  young,  will  find  themselves 
engaged  in  a  labor  of  love  that  will  pay  ten  per  cent  on 
the  investment  with  greater  certainty  than  any  other 
operation  we  can  enter  into. 

The  influence  for  good  with  the  young,  will  be  sur* 
prisingly  gratifying.  I,  in  my  limited  experience,  feel 
that  I  have  been  repaid  tenfold  in  pleasure  to  myself; 
which  should  be  a  small  consideration  as  compared  with 


34  Mother's  Help  and 

the  benefit  I  have  rendered  the  young  ;  and  this  in  many 
instances  where  I  was  not  hopeful  and  was  scarcely  con- 
scious of  doing  good. 

I  never  struck  a  child,  and  yet  I  have  no  difficulty  in 
winning  its  obedience,  respect  and  love. 

Furthermore  I  do  not  believe  children  are  bad  and 
must  be  made  good,  but  the  reverse.  They  with  favor- 
able prenatal  conditions  are  good.  Yet  alas  !  the  prena- 
tal conditions  are  liable  to  be  inharmonious  or  the 
surroundings  demoralizing,  the  bad  being  foreign  to  Nat- 
ure's organism  of  the  infantile  brain,  shocks  or  startles 
it,  and  through  the  eye,  ear,  and  other  channels,  becomes 
impressed  or  registered  upon  the  memory,  and  thereby 
works  out  its  evil  effects. 

In  a  similar  way  too  are  our  thoughts,  though  silent, 
potent  factors  for  evil  or  for  good. 

If  many  of  us  grown  persons  who  happen  to  be  sen- 
sitive can  feel  people's  evil  and  good  thoughts  toward  us, 
much  more  must  those  little  sensitive  beings  be  affected 
by  our  feelings  toward  them. 

*** 

Our  first  duty,  then,  we  see  is  to  perfect  ourselves, 
even  to  outrooting  of  the  mighty,  telling  imperfections 
our  ancestors  bequeathed  to  us.  For  where  do  we  show 
any  reproducing  superiority  over  the  lower  animals  or 
even  the  vegetable  kingdom,  if  we  beget  and  multiply 
from  defective  seed?  Are  we  excusable  for  setting  at 
naught  the  perfecting  means  Nature  and  her  God  placed 
at  our  disposal?  Certainly  not.  The  advancement  we 
have  made  in  all  the  sciences — save  perhaps  the  science 
of  man — shows  that  mankind  is  well  informed,  and  capa- 
ble of  an  infinitely  greater  perfecting  progress  than  he 
has  yet  seen  fit  to  bestow  upon  what  is  commonly  said  to 
be  God's  greatest  creation.  Few,  if  any,  dispute  that 


Child1  s  Friend.  35 

the  human  race  is  the  Creator's  most  superior  work  ;  yet 
how  many  are  there — when  you  pin  the  question  right 
down — who  treat  the  human  creature  as  such. 

How  is  it  that  the  most  ordinary  persons  recognize 
merit  in  anything  of  superior  creation,  and  yet  have  no 
respect  for  the  human  creation ;  nor  care  to  cultivate  a 
respect,  by  an  analysis  of  its  complex  and  beautiful  con- 
struction, and  the  laws  that  govern  it — which  govern  its 
creation,  development,  and  reproduction.  Is  there  one 
single  reason  why  ignorance  respecting  our  own  physical, 
mental,  and  spiritual  entity  should  be  tolerated  in  this 
enlightened  age? 

After  we  have  become  acquainted  with  ourselves,  and 
gotten  cultured,  so  that  the  lower  faculties  do  not  domi- 
nate over  the  higher,  finer  faculties  ;  then  may  we  seek 
to  perpetuate  what  we  have  acquired  and  register  the 
progress  we  have  made,  by  reproducing  our  kind. 

Nor  yet  is  our  responsibility  at  an  end,  for  the  tend- 
ency to  inherit  from  ancestors,  may  bud  forth  in  the 
child  undesirable  qualities  that  must  be  nipped  in  the 
bud. 

The  child's  closest  environment,  the  mother,  having 
acquired  a  high  gradation  of  excellence  will  make  it 
comparatively  easy  for  the  child  to  ascend  one  step 
higher,  having  been  born  under  such  favorable  circum- 
stances. In  this  way  we  see  we  become  benefactors  to 
our  race,  by  putting  in  operation  the  true  moral  nature, 
that  it  may  make  progress  commensurate  with  the  other 
achievements. 


Mother's  Help  and 


HE  ART  OF  LIVING  deserves  a  place 
among  the  fine  arts,  like  literature,  says 
Samuel  Smiles;    it  may  be  reckoned 
with  the  humanities.     It  is  the  art  of 
turning  the  means  at  one's  command 
to  the  best  accounts  ;   of  making  the 
best  of  everything.       It  is  the  art  of 
extracting  from  life  its  highest  enjoyments, 
and  through  it  of  reaching  its  highest  results. 
It  can  be  fostered  by  parents  and   teachers 
and  perfected  by  self-culture. 

In  affairs  of  life  it  is  not  Intellect  that  tells  so  much 
as  heart ;  not  Genius  so  much  as  self-control,  patience 
and  discipline  regulated  by  judgment. 

A  life  well  spent  is  worth  any  number  of  speeches, 
for  example  is  a  language  far  more  eloquent  than  words. 
It  is  instruction  in  action.  Wisdom  at  work. 


Child's  Friend. 


37 


Internal  or  f&ental  faculties. 

HOSE  included  under  the  head  of  in- 
clination,   observation,    and   thought, 
constituting  the   basis   of  the   moral, 
religious    and    intellectual   character. 
The  structure  of  the  infant  brain,  thus 
extremely   delicate,  it  is   very  easily 
disordered,  and  even  permanently  in- 
jured.    And  injuries   sustained  to   it,  like 
the   eye    or   ear,    impair    the   efficiency   of   its 
functions  to  the  end  of  life — may  even  induce  idiocy 
or  imbecility. 

Even  at  the  early  age  of  six  weeks,  when  the  infant 
is  still  a  stranger  to  the  world,  and  perceives  external 
objects  so  instinctively  as  to  make  no  effort  to  obtain  or 
avoid  them,  he  is  nevertheless  accessible  to  influence  of 
human  expression. 

Although  no  material  object  possesses  any  attraction 
for  him,  sympathy  or  the  action  of  a  feeling  in  his  mind 
corresponding  to  the  expression  of  the  same  feeling  in 
the  mind  of  another  is  already  at  work.  A  smile  or  ca- 
ressing accent  raises  a  smile  on  his  lips,  pleasing  emo- 
tions already  animate  this  little  being,  and  we,  recogniz- 
ing their  expression,  are  delighted  in  our  turn.  Who, 
then,  has  told  the  infant  that  a  certain  expression  of  the 
features  indicate  tenderness  for  him.  .  .  .  The  per- 


38  Mother's  Help  and 

son  near  his  cradle  may  be  a  stranger ;  no  matter,  she  has 
smiled  affectionately  on  him,  he  feels  that  he  is  loved 
and  he  loves  in  turn.* 

*** 

It  is  readily  seen,  then,  that  the  time  to  begin  to  edu- 
cate a  child  is  many  years  before  its  birth,  by  educating 
the  parents. 

And  in  this  connection  we  find  that  the  finer  and 
more  complex  an  organism  is,  the  more  forethought  and 
care  must  be  exercised  in  the  maintenance  of  the  com- 
plexity it  has  acquired,  and  also  to  preserve  the  species, 
which  by  virtue  of  its  fine  organism,  and  aims,  is  entitled 
to  our  best  consideration  and  care. 

*** 

How  to  ascertain  the  line  of  thought  to  which  the 
child  is  best  adapted  is  a  question  that  has  often  been 
asked  me  by  anxious  parents.  In  answering  this  ques- 
tion I  first  ask  them  one,  viz.:  What  were  your  strongest 
lines  of  thought  during  the  year  before  his  advent? 
This  same  will  be  inherent  in  him  ;  yet  it  is  not  saying 
that  it  will  be  to  his  fancy  as  he  grows  up  ;  nor  that  with 
his  particular  station  in  life,  or  his  physical  conditions 
that  it  will  be  easy  for  him  to  adapt  himself  to  it.  It 
seems  to  me  much  the  best  to  have  a  child  come  with  a 
uniform  or  normal  development,  then  as  he  grows  he  may 
choose  from  such  professions,  arts,  or  trades  as  present 
themselves  in  his  environments.  Whereas  if  he  were 
born  with  an  abnormal  development,  that  is,  with  a  tal- 
ent for  one  thing  so  in  excess  of  all  others  as  to  be  a 
passion,  and  his  condition  or  his  parents'  are  such  as 
make  it  difficult,  if  indeed  not  impossible,  to  gratify  him 


*l'Education  Progressive,  au  Etude  de  Cours  de  la  Vie. 
Par  Mme.  de  Saussure,  Vol.  I. 


Child's  Friend. 


39 


in  the  realization  of  his  inborn  desire.  We  see  what 
"an  elephant  it  is  on  their  hands." 

"  A  good  tree  will  not  bring  forth  evil  fruit,  neither 
can  a  corrupt  tree  bring  forth  good  fruit. ' ' 

By  this  we  see  that  our  appearance  and  professed 
goodness  represent  no  value.  That  our  deeds  and  the 
character  of  our  children  speak  the  truth,  and  are  the 
fruits  of  our  real  self;  our  own  true  character  revealed. 
"Cultivate  all  things  in  moderation,  but  one  thing 
in  perfection. ' ' 


Mother's  Help  and 


Senses. 


ENSIBIUTY  to  light,  touch,  tem- 
perature, taste  and  smell,  is  pres- 
ent on  the  first  day  of  infant  life. 
How  careful  we  should  be  to  pro- 
tect these  from  injury.     Hearing 
usually  develops  the  third  or  fourth 
day,  though  often  present  the  first 
day.     General  organic  sensations 
of  well-being   or  discomfort   the 
infant  feels  from  the  first ;  but  we 
have  no  evidence  that  pain  and  pleasure,  as 
mental  states,  are   evolved    until   the   second 
month. 

A  study  of  child  mind  shows  that  the  child's  obser- 
vation develops  ideas,  and  that  reasoning  is  actively  at 
work  long  before  it  makes  any  attempt  at  an  expression 
of  such  in  words.  And  I  do  not  agree  with  some  able 
writers  when  they  say  that  the  child's  speech  is  developed 
according  to  its  intellectual  powers,  not  at  all.  I  know 
full  well  that  some  children  have  a  very  glib  tongue  for 
speech,  with  no  comparison  of  the  advanced  intellectual 
powers  quietly  displayed  in  its  untalking  playmate.  The 
presence  of  speech  is  no  more  a  sign  of  wisdom  in  a  child 
than  it  is  in  an  adult,  and  we  know  that  the  busy  talkers 
are  by  no  means  our  greatest  people,  as  regards  intellec- 
tual and  moral  development.  The  parrot  is  no  wiser 
than  other  animals  who  talk  not. 


Child's  Friend.  41 

"  The  excitement  of  perpetual  speech-making  is  fatal 
to  the  exercise  of  the  higher  faculties." 

We  see  a  child  of  three  laughing  at  the  clumsy  utter- 
ances of  a  five-year-old,  yet  this  is  no  criterion  by  which 
to  measure  their  wisdom  or  intellectual  acquisitions  ;  not 
at  all.  Recently  a  pair  of  twins  refused  to  learn  the  lan- 
guage of  the  parents,  but  invented  a  language  of  their 
own,  through  which  they  intelligently  communicated 
with  each  other,  thereby  displaying  inborn  independence, 
of  a  nature  not  to  be  ignored.  Also  in  Canada  there  was 
a  child  who  persistently  refused  to  adopt  its  parents'  lan- 
guage ;  and  at  five  years  of  age  was  found  to  have  a  lan- 
guage of  its  own,  which  it  taught  to  its  baby  brother  ; 
and  scientific  men  investigated  the  case  and  found  the 
children  communicating  intelligently  with  each  other  in 
a  language  of  their  own. 

Now  these  little  brains  must  have  been  wonderfully 
active,  while  the  senses  of  the  speechless  little  ones  were 
actually  engineering  great  schemes.  Here  we  have  over- 
whelming evidence  against  the  theory  that  intelligence 
is  measured  by  the  presence  of  speech.  And  I  may  add 
the  case  of  a  child  in  my  family  who  at  two  years  of  age 
incurred  the  wrath  of  the  grandmother  by  breaking  the 
family  record  in  refusing  to  talk.  And  in  real  French 
fashion  shrugged  her  little  shoulders  to  intensify  the  dis- 
gust and  determination  which  her  face  depictejj  ;  and 
notwithstanding  the  speechless  daily  evidences  of  the 
growth  of  the  child's  senses,  the  grandmother  still  (like 
many  others)  thought  her  stupid.  But  in  one  year  the 
grandparent  had  to  take  refuge  elsewhere  in  order  to  rest 
from  the  incessant  and  unanswerable  questions  of  this 
child  when  a  three-year-old.  She  apparently  planned 
for  a  year  to  sweep  down  upon  the  old  lady  with  an  ava- 
lanche of  dumfounding  questions 


A 2  Mother's  Help  and 

The  mind  of  the  child  is  active,  and  its  mental  exer- 
cise must  be  of  a  clean,  wholesome  nature.  The  child's 
mind  is  like  a  rich  man  — the  more  he  gets  the  more  he 
wants  ;  or  like  a  hungry  goat,  will  eat  everything  that 
can  be  found.  __  Let  us  see  that  that  mental  food  be  such 
as  shall  nourish  for  a  being  superior  to  ourselves. 

We  frequently  see  families  of  distinction,  of  high  and 
noble  attainments,  dwindle  down  and  die  out,  ambi- 
tionless.  And  having  exhausted  the  last  remnant  of  the 
noble  acquisitions  that  characterized  them,  have  to  make 
recourse  to  vain  and  doubtful  words,  as  their  only  remain- 
ing means  of  showing  what  was  once  theirs.  All  else  hav- 
ing decayed  and  crumbled  away.  Let  us  look  into  the 
cause  of  this  :  Great  credit  is  due  the  one  who  took  the 
first  step  in  the  ladder  of  ascent,  and  whose  superior  ambi- 
tion enabled  him  or  her  to  generate  force,  with  which 
to  maintain  what  he  had  acquired  and  add  thereto.  But 
the  greatest  height  is  reached  when  his  offspring  show 
proof  that  he  has  transmitted  to  them  all  he  had  acquired, 
and  added  thereto  by  a  judicious  course  of  child  culture. 
For  while  HEREDITY  is  undeniably  of  paramount  im- 
portance, CULTURE  is  a  factor  whose  power  none  can 
dispute. 

Having  done  this  much  for  the  children,  is  an  expo- 
sition of  his  unselfishness,  of  his  desire  for  their  improve- 
ment, of  his  Godlikeness  ;  and  hence  entitles  him  to  a 
high  place  on  the  scale  of  Justice,  of  Beneficence.  Now 
then,  the  merit  of  the  generations  that  follow  will  depend 
upon  the  use  to  which  they  apply  this  rich  legacy.  If 
they  misappropriate  it,  or  become  lax,  and  listlessly  rest 
on  the  fame  of  their  forefathers,  then  retrogression  is  the 
inevitable  result. 

If  they  come  to  feel  that  all  the  fame  necessary  has 
been  acquired,  their  attention  and  activity  will  be 


Child'1  s  Friend.  43 

directed  into  other  and  less  desirable  channels,  where, 
rapidly  or  slowly,  as  the  case  may  be,  will  be  wrecked 
the  good  inheritance  which,  easily  gotten,  was  unappre- 
ciated and  not  deemed  worthy  a  safe  anchorage.  Thus 
crumbles,  through  neglect,  immorality  and  disease,  the 
ladder  erected  for  their  ascent. 

Men  and  women  who  are  not  interested  in  promoting 
the  welfare  of  the  human  family  are  an  abomination, 
and  unfit  to  help  populate  the  earth.  Selfishness  and  all 
sensuousness,  will  not  only  cause  the  downfall  of  good 
families;  but  will  also,  wherever  present,  prevent  the  at- 
tainment of  character,  morality,  and  physical  perfection. 

We  know  full  well  that  each  point  lost — that  each 
misstep  lessens  our  chances  of  winning  the  race ;  so  is 
our  moral  progress  in  earth  life  retarded.  Whereas  if 
we  do  but  gain  mastery  over  ourselves,  once  or  twice, 
each  succeeding  conquest  will  be  won  with  less  difficulty; 
until  we  find  we  have  acquired  absolute  self-government; 
through  which  we  shall  be  enabled  to  gain  and  hold  fast 
that  which  is  good. 


Mother's  Help  and 


EVELOP  in  the  child  the  OBSERV- 
ING faculties  at  an  early  age,  while 
it  is  yet  in  your  arms,  that  it  may 
secure  a  correct  comprehension  of 
facts.  Then  if  the  reasoning  facul- 
ties are  developed  in  proportion  we 
shall  see  that  facts  brought  to  the 
notice  of  the  child  will  readily  become  regis- 
tered on  the  memory,  subject  to  recall  at  its 
will,  even  in  long  after  years.  And  the  clearer  the 
first  impression  we  get  of  a  fact,  the  longer  and 
more  accurately  is  it  remembered.  So  we  see  how  essen- 
tial it  is  to  get  a  vivid  first  impression. 

This  always  reminds  me  of  two  diaries, — one  kept  in 
a  neat  pen-and-ink  hand,  always  remaining  as  reliable 
reference.  While  the  other,  kept  with  pencil,  is  blurred 
and  uncertain  at  its  best,  and  always  short-lived  like  the 
memory  of  the  person  whose  faculties  of  observing  and 
reasoning  have  been  neglected. 

You  can't  recall  to  mind  a  fact  that  never  was  a  fact 
to  your  mind  — z.  e. ,  that  never  entered  your  realm  of  ob- 
servation, or  that  entered  so  weak  and  obscure  as  to  be 

*r 

brushed  away — crowded  out  by  following  events. 

It  is  well  known  by  experience  that,  in  certain 
conditions  of  weakness;  or  when  having  taken  medicine 
to  induce  sleep,  and  where  it  fails  to  have  the  desired 
effect  and  only  drives  all  the  life  and  activity  to  the  head  ; 


Child's  Friend.  45 

we  know  that  at  such  a  time  a  person  has  brought  vividly 
to  mind  happenings  of  one's  infancy  when  he  was  yet  in 
the  arms  of  the  mother  or  nurse.  This  is  proof  that  the 
vivid  impressions  of  one's  infancy  are  lasting  ;  and  the 
conduct  of  those  in  whose  society  the  child  lives  should 
be  guarded  as  by  the  smiling,  but  ever  present  God. 
Any  sort  of  conduct  may  do  for  those  who  are  full  grown; 
not  so  however  with  the  young.  One  expression  of  yours 
may  decide  his  entire  future, — for  weal  or  for  woe.  His 
welfare  is  your  interest,  the  world's  interest,  God's 
interest. 


46  Mother' s  Help  and 


Ofljtttrren  ©ur  deflectors. 

HILDREN     have     more     need    of 
models    than    of    critics."      They 
are    remarkable    imitators.      They 
mimic  us  in  words,  acts,  and  airs ; 
which    frequently    proves   unfortu- 
nate, though  it   need   not,  for  we 
can — as   it   was   intended    by  nat- 
ure— utilize    this     very    "aping" 
to  the  good  of  the  children,  by  setting  them  the 
pattern  we  wish  them  to  follow. 

Let  our  words  and  acts  be  such  as  shall  reflect  upon 
them  credit  to  us.  Such  as  shall  develop  in  their  growth 
a  decided  improvement  on  ourselves. 

As  the  child  grows  to  an  understanding  age  it  should 
be  taught  self-control.  The  child's  everyday  life  is  full 
of  opportunities  for  this  training.  A  child  can  come  to 
enjoy  saving  its  candy  till  it  finds  some  one  to  share  it 
with  ;  to  allow  another  child  to  undress  its  new  doll  for 
the  first  time.  A  little  fellow  may  learn  that  it  is  not 
unmanly  to  let  his  playfellow  have  the  first  ride  on  his 
velocipede.  He  may  also,  so  learn  to  control  himself  as 
to  be  able  to  pass  a  knick-knack  store,  without  spending 
the  pennies  in  his  little  purse.  In  these  and  many  other 
ways,  the  little  ones  may  learn  that  self-control  which 
they  fail  to  get  from  our  example. 

A  wavering,  uncertain,  yielding  disposition  opens  up 


Child's  Friend.  47 

the  way  for  every  temptation.  And  this  is  why  I  say 
the  old  way  of  "conquering"  a  child  is  a  pernicious 
practice  and  should  be  stopped  at  once,  for  it  takes  the 
courage,  the  stamina,  the  grit  out  of  a  child  and  unfits  him 
for  the  duties  of  life.  Worse  yet,  he  is  led  hither  and 
yon,  by  every  passing  breeze,  into  vice,  sowing  his  ' '  wild 
oats."  And  of  such  sowing  it  can  scarce  be  expected 
that  he  and  his  mother  will  reap  anything  but  shame 
and  regret. 

People  may  say  what  they  will  in  favor  of  wild  oats, 
I  never  could  see  any  benefit  therefrom.  For  to  pass 
through  disgraceful  experiences  does  contaminate  one 
with  its  loathsomeness,  and  debase  him.  Every  thought 
and  act  is  registered  on  the  memory  subject  to  recall ; 
nor  is  this  recall  limited  to  himself,  for  we  find  his  record 
handed  up  to  his  children  unto  the  third  and  fourth 
generation. 

There  is  no  reformed  case  but  that  would  have  been 
nobler,  higher,  purer,  and  in  every  respect  more  in  ac- 
cordance with  reason  and  nature,  to  have  ignored  wild 
oats  and  followed  the  All-wise  Ruler's  dictates  and  kept 
clean  in  conduct,  body,  and  soul  from  first  to  last. 

Children  are  by  nature  imitative  ;  it  is  therefore  neces- 
sary that  the  conduct  and  speech  of  their  parents  or 
guardians  be  pure  and  of  wholesome  influence,  which  is 
too  often  forgotten  in  older  persons,  thinking  children  do 
not  notice.  They  do  notice,  though  slyly,  and  what  they 
now  hear  and  see  is  often  so  impressed  upon  their  mem- 
ories as  never  to  be  obliterated. 


48 


Mother's  Help  and 


antr  Uisual. 


I  FFERENT  dispositions  have  different 
avenues  of  approach,  but  all  have  an 
approach    by   which    they   may   be 
reached,  and  if  fallen,  reclaimed.     It 
has   been   wisely   said,    there   is   no 
total  depravity.      The    spirit  never 
embodied  the  human  form  without  bringing 
with  it  a  speck  of  humanity  susceptible  of  im- 
pression—sympathetic   as    well    as    mental    and 
physical. 

As  the  eye  is  the  direct  door  to  the  brain  or  mind, 
so  the  ear  is  the  door  to  the  emotional,  sympathetic  nat- 
ure. And  even  a  prison  convict  is  never  so  degraded 
but  that  he  may  be  reclaimed  —  if  not  through  the  eye 
with  books  —  through  the  ear  by  sound  of  a  sympathetic 
voice,  or  touching,  pathetic  music. 

One  hundred  good  books  will  not  effect  the  reform 
through  the  eye  that  can  be  effected  in  one  hour  by  sym- 
pathetic appeal,  conveyed  in  voice,  sound  or  music 
through  the  ear  to  the  emotional  nature,  through  which 
it  reaches  the  soul  for  assimilation.  This  statement  holds 
good  throughout  all  highly  organized  life,  but  can  be 
most  beautifully  and  effectually  applied  to  children  in 
the  home.  And  yet  here  the  sounds  that  reverberate 
from  the  child's  own  untrained  voice  —  or  I  should  say 
spoiled  voice  (for  the  child's  voice  in  spite  of  heredity  and 


Child'1  s  Friend.  49 

early  environment  is  naturally  musical)  is  not  always 
such  as  the  soul  grows  on.  Nor  is  the  irritating  voice  of 
the  parents  and  nurse,  when  they  use  the  ear  of  the  child 
as  a  cuspidor  into  which  to  spit  their  spite,  conclusive  to 
its  soul- growth. 

We  can  really  do  most  anything  with  children,  in  a 
mild,  impressive  way  and  voice.  It  is  astonishing  how 
susceptible  they  are  of  improvement  and  expansion  when 
properly  approached — that  is, — when  your  words  of 
instruction  are  wisely  clothed  in  a  tone  that  finds  the 
receptive  notes  in  the  sympathetic  nature  of  the  child. 
The  soul  catches  up  the  impression  of  what  your  voice  con- 
veyed and  diffuses  it ;  and  expansion  is  the  result.  Now  if 
we  pursue  this  course,  to  the  expansion  will  be  added 
strength  for  the  sustenance  of  what  is  acquired.  Albeit 
while  the  sympathetic  nature  is  subject  to  conditions,  the 
auditory  approach  is  always  open  to  the  entrance  of 
every  sound.be  it  of  harmony  or  discord.  The  ear  does  not 
discriminate — it  takes  in  every  sound  that  comes  along, 
and  registers  it ;  there  it  is,  no  chance  to  wipe  it  off.  And 
perchance  he  neglects  to  recall  it  to  memory  or  mind,  his 
children  may  do  so  for  him.  It  frequently  occurs  that  a 
person  exhibits  the  forgotten  records  of  his  parent. 

•  Now  I  hold  that  these  avenues  of  approach  are  natu- 
rally more  susceptible  to  beneficial  influences  (which  are 
creative)  than  to  injurious  influences  (which  are  destruc- 
tive). The  creative  force  of  the  universe  is  so  faithful  in 
the  discharge  of  its  duty  that  to  create  and  re-create  are 
the  natural  order  of  things,  rather  than  destruction. 

But,  says  the  mother,  if  I  spend  my  time  reminding 
myself  always  to  speak  agreeably  to  the  children  and 
home  folks,  I'll  have  no  mind  for  anything  else  ;  besides 
it  is  tiresome  to  be  always  agreeable.  Yes,  so  it  is  when 
one  eats  flesh  food,  for  that  is  a  constant  source  of  irrita- 


5<3  Mother's  Help  and 

tion — a  sort  of  a  dispositional  mustard  plaster,  and  by  it 
you  are  constantly  reminded  to  be  irritable. 

1 '  Crumpiness ' '  is  not  natural,  and  amiability  an  unnat- 
tural  acquirement,  not  at  all.  But  when  your  circulatory 
system  is  carrying  animal  substance  with  its  irritating 
influence  throughout  your  whole  system,  the  irritation  it 
has  generated  must  find  vent  somewhere,  and  as  the  vocal 
organs  are  the  most  active  and  offer  the  least  resistance, 
through  them  the  pent-up  thunder  and  lightning  find 
outlet,  and  usually  strike  the  juvenile  auditors.  Home 
folks  and  teachers  treat  the  big  ears  of  the  little  folks 
much  as  they  do  their  garbage  shoots, — dump  therein 
the  "cast  off"  that  is  useless  elsewhere. 


Child's  Friend. 


51 


HILDREN  should  be  taught  to 
speak  in  a  low  tone.  Screaming 
or  loud  talking  is  a  bad  habit  and 
often  clings  to  one  through  life. 

At  a  boarding  stable  in  New 
York,  where  are  groomed  many 
fine  horses  belonging  to  wealthy 
gentlemen,  the  proprietor  has  in- 
augurated the  custom — the  example  of  which 
would  not  be  bad  for  some  families  to  emulate — prohibit- 
ing the  use  of  loud  and  profane  language  by  any  one 
about  the  premises. 

The  child  should  be  taught  to  obey  at  once  and  not 
wait  to  be  spoken  to  repeatedly.  A  serious  look  fre- 
quently goes  farther  than  many  harsh  words. 

Contradicting  is  also  a  bad  habit,  and  sooner  or  later 
figures  conspicuously  in  creating  a  quarrelsome  disposi- 
tion. 

Children  want  sympathy  and  kindness  snown  them, 
yet  the  parent  or  guardian  should  not  forget  that  it  is  to 
the  welfare  of  the  child  that  firmness  of  character  be 
maintained. 

What  I  call  "April  '^  or  "  Hysterical  "  government, 
i.  e.,  severity  and  leniency,  slaps  and  kisses  by  turn,  is 
the  worst  sort  of  government,  for  it  unstables  the  child 


«|2  Mother's  Help  and 

through  life,  makes  him  unreliable  and  inconsistent  in 
business  and  social  conduct. 

So  we  see  that  after  we  have  grown  old  or  mayhap 
disappeared,  our  children  inflict  on  their  associates  the 
characteristics  acquired  through  inconsistent  home  gov- 
ernment. Therefore  we  see  it  is  wise  to  exercise  a  strict 
adherence  to  that  which  is  good  for  the  child  in  after 
years,  when  he  or  she  shall  assume  the  responsibility  of 
business  and  the  improvement  of  the  condition  of  his 
fellow-men. 

It  is  important  to  direct  attention  to  strengthening 
the  will.  For  will  is  essential  to  independence  and  firm- 
ness of  character,  and  in  youth  is  the  proper  time  to 
educate  it.  Do  not  destroy  it,  but  train  it,  as  later  in 
life  a  well-educated  will  is  the  prompter  of  many  good 
and  noble  acts. 

Some  parents  talk  about  "breaking  the  child's  will," 
which  is  an  ugly  expression  and  unnecessary,  and  usually 
the  outward  expression  of  a  bad  disposition  in  the  parent. 

Do  not  slap  the  child  ;  'tis  bad  for  it.  Do  not  ill- 
treat  it  in  any  way.  Always  bear  in  mind  that  you  are 
far  from  perfect  yourself.  Win  the  child  to  obedience 
by  earnest  but  kindly  reasoning. 


Child  's  Friend. 


53 


HILDREN  need  sympathy  and  at- 
tention.      Many    times    they    pine 
.£-  and  really  suffer  for  want  of  sympa- 
thy in  their  play  ;  this  is  true  from 
early  infancy  on  through  childhood. 
If  we  do  not  sympathize  with  them 
in  their  play,  and  furnish  whole- 
"  some   amusement   and   occupation, 

that  which  is  undesirable  will  spring  forth,  for 
we  have  implanted  in  them  the  seed  of  wrong- doing, 
which  chokes  out  the  good  with  which  Nature  would 
gladly  endow  them.  When  a  child  is  grave,  it  is  an  in- 
dication of  something  wrong,  and  the  parents  should 
lose  no  time  in  bringing  the  child  out  into  a  normal  con- 
dition of  playfulness  and  activity.  Pray  don't  fuss  at 
them  for  their  restlessness,  it  is  natural  for  their  bodies 
to  be  full  of  activity  ;  and  it  injures  them  to  have  to  be 
still,  sometimes  so  seriously  as  to  produce  spinal  curva- 
ture and  other  deformities. 

If  we  who  have  jostled  about  this  world  so  long  need 
sympathy,  much  more  do  the  children  who  are  yet  tender 
need  it,  of  this  we  should  ever  be  mindful.  And  atten- 
tion they  must  have  ;  they  want  to  be  "  mused ' '  and 
"noticed."  Some  women  even  protest  against  giving 
their  children  attention  or  being  "  bothered  "  with  them. 
It  makes  me  blush  to  admit  that  one  of  my  sex  who 


54  Mother's  Help  and 

has  the  good  judgment  to  select  as  husband,  a  man  of 
social,  business,  and  religious  principles,  does  not  enter 
with  pride  and  earnestness  into  her  duty  of  caring  for 
her  offspring.  We  sometimes  see  a  woman  who  although 
/espectful  and  attentive  to  the  husband  yet  uses  the  child 
as  a  sort  of  a  gymnastic  appliance  with  which  to  increase 
her  muscular  activity  and  as  a  tester  on  which  to  try  the 
acuteness  of  her  tongue.  Do  be  patient  with  the  little 
ones  ;  for  even  "a  violent  passion  or  fit  of  obstinacy  may 
be  caused  by  a  temporary  congestion  of  the  brain.  The 
consequence  of  beating  a  child  for  this  is  that  the  brain, 
which  was  already  for  some  cause  or  another  filled  with 
blood,  becomes  more  crowded  still."  One  author  rec- 
ommends that  at  such  a  time  we  give  the  child  a  drink 
of  water.  It  seems  to  me  that  in  addition  to  a  drink  of 
water  for  the  child  a  whole  glass  for  the  parent — or  who- 
ever is  rousing  the  child — would  decidedly  improve  the 
case.  Let  me  here  relate  a  bit  of  my  experience  with  a 
case  where  water  was  not  used. 

Some  years  ago  I  was  well  acquainted  with  a  family 
of  wealth  and  influence  in  America,  of  which  the  young- 
est child  was  a  remarkably  bright  and  promising  boy. 
He,  like  most  children,  was  ever  ready  to  entertain  his 
audience  in  the  family  room  with  cunning  tricks  and 
sayings,  most  of  which  he  had  evidence  were  satisfactory. 
But  all  at  once  he  missed  it,  and  was  unceremoniously 
snatched  up  by  his  mother  and  roughly  shaken,  after 
which  she  had  the  nursemaid  take  him  into  an  adjoin- 
ing room  while  she,  herself — the  loving  (?)  mother 
' '  pelted  ' '  him.  I  went  to  the  door  and  entreated  her  to 
desist ;  she  called  forth  angrily  that  she'd  teach  him  in 
this  way  what  he  might  say  and  do  and  what  he  should 
not ;  and  for  me  to  hearken,  as  she  could  not  be  dis- 


Child's  Friend.  55 

turbed.  The  members  of  the  family  informed  me  that 
this  was  of  frequent  occurrence. 

The  cold  chills  ran  over  me  and  I  wondered  why  her 
arm  had  not  been  withered  that  the  child  might  be  spared 
1 '  breaking  in. "  My  heart  ached,  and  I  breathed  a  prayer 
that  I  might  live  to  do  a  little  battle  for  children,  as  they 
could  not  speak  for  themselves. 

When  this  boy  was  eleven  years  old,  I  again  visited 
this  point ;  and  as  I  had  often  thought  of  him,  I  nat- 
urally felt  a  desire  to  see  how  he  was  growing. 

His  father  had  died  after  an  unsuccessful  struggle  in 
a  public  business  transaction,  leaving  the  family  without 
means.  Each  member  had  started  out  for  himself  in 
search  of  some  means  of  maintenance.  The  mother  and 
this  boy  I  found  living  not  even  comfortably. 

He  had  been  expelled  from  military  academy,  where 
the  stearn  professors  had  exhausted  every  means  of  pun- 
ishment on  him  and,  I  verily  believe,  lost  sleep  because 
they  dared  not  inflict  new  and  more  severe  ones  ;  so  ex- 
pelled him  for  a  fresh  victim.  And  his  mother  then  be- 
came a  real  sufferer,  yet  could  not  see  that  she  alone  was 
to  blame. 

She  said  tearfully  that  she  had,  from  his  early  infancy, 
tried  to  beat  good  into  him  (probably  on  the  same  prin- 
ciple that  sugar  can  be  beaten  into  batter  for  a  good  cake  ; 
but  severity  and  righteousness  have  no  chemical  affinity 
and  hence  the  failure  of  the  combine),  and  attributed  the 
failure  to  his  paternal  characteristics. 

In  the  course  of  conversation  I  made  known  to  her  the 
fact  that  I  had  taken  a  house  with  the  intention  of  re- 
maining a  while,  an'd  the  boy,  though  apparently  en- 
grossed in  some  occupation  in  an  adjoining  room,  must 
have  listened  (children  always  do)  for,  after  I  had  returned 
home,  and  about  nine  o'clock  that  night,  he  pulled  the 


5 6  Mother's  Help  and 

knocker  of  my  door.  And  though  he  assured  the  serv- 
ant that  he  wanted  to  see  me  about  something  important, 
she  very  reluctantly  let  the  straggler  in.  I  made  allow- 
ance for  what  followed  ;  for  notwithstanding  his  saying 
that  the  mother  sanctioned  his  coming  and  walking — ex- 
cept an  occasional  ' '  catch-on  "  to  a  cart — seven  miles,  I 
sent  her  a  telegram  to  save  her  the  usual  night  ramble  in 
search  of  him,  saying  I  would  keep  him  awhile. 

And,  good  reader,  it  is  needless  for  me  to  say  that  a 
boy  with  such  a  record  was  a  sore  trial  tome.  What  else 
could  I  expect  ?  Yet  when  he  was  an  infant  and  I  wit- 
nessed the  cruelties  inflicted  on  him  I  wished  for  oppor- 
tunity to  administer  a  soothing  balm  to  him  and  other 
children.  So  now  was  my  opportunity  to  do  for  him  what 
had  not  been  done  by  his  wise  and  stout  tutors. 

I  began  gradually.  He  ran  away,  was  disobedient, 
and  untidy;  yet  I  was  obliged  to  hold  my  temper.  Not 
push  him,  but  kindly  lead  him.  I  tried  not  to  have  him 
know  that  I  was  aiming  directly  to  have  him  obedient.  I 
used  the  humane  principle  and  to  have  him  feel  that  he 
was  my  guest  and  that  I  was  entertaining  him  as  I  would 
any  one.  He  had  never  been  treated  as  if  he  were  a  hu- 
man being  and  capable  of  any  development.  So  I  re- 
versed the  order  of  things  and  pursued  a  course  by  which 
I  made  him  feel  his  entity,  and  a  desire  to  be  somebody. 
The  characters  of  which  we  read  in  the  books  grew  more 
and  more  interesting  as  he  developed  an  ability  to  con- 
centrate his  thoughts.  The  evenings  were  so  pleasantly 
spent  that  he  said  it  seemed  a  pity  to  have  bedtime  come. 

But  other  duties  demanded  my  attention  the  greater 
portion  of  the  day.  And  as  he  was  not  accustomed  to 
this  way  of  spending  his  time,  he  naturally  fell  back  into 
idleness.  And  this  usually  results  in  sin,  or  I  might  say, 
this  sin  leads  to  mischief.  Yet  with  all  the  pleasures  he 


Child's  Friend.  57 

derived  from  disobedience  he  came  home  to  .me  at  night- 
fall knowing  I  had  a  pleasant  fireside  at  which  he  found 
the  greatest  enjoyment  he  had  ever  experienced. 

Sometimes  his  erroneous  afternoon  rambles  well- 
nigh  distracted  me  ;  and  upon  my  discoursing  with  him 
on  the  subject,  he  was  very  stubborn  and  ugly;  but 
seemed  so  deeply  in  thought  as  to  cause  me  much 
uneasiness. 

Albeit  time  came  when  it  appeared  he  should  go 
home,  and  I  accompanied  him  in  order  to  prevail  upon 
his  mother  to  adopt  my  method  of  keeping  him  in  at 
night.  He  expressed  great  dissatisfaction  at  being  re- 
fused the  pleasure  of  returning  with  me.  *  *  * 

Three  years  thereafter  and  just  before  her  death  she 
again  demanded  of  me  what  means  of  punishment  (not 
thinking  kindness  more  powerful  than  cruelty)  I  had  re- 
sorted to  in  achieving  so  satisfactory  a  change  in  the  boy. 
I  replied  that  I  had  punished  myself,  not  the  boy,  for  in 
holding  my  temper  I  was  the  means  of  restoring  to  her 
peace  and  a  dutiful  son  who  watched  with  unswerving 
zeal  and  fortitude  at  her  dying  couch. 

The  animal  nature  of  boys  will  be  subject  to  fits  of  spon- 
taneous combustion  until  you  call  the  vitality  that  devel- 
ops and  sustains  this  animality,  into  other  channels  to 
build  and  sustain  the  higher  faculties.  And  we  know 
full  well  that  the  only  way  to  do  this  is  to  exercise  these 
faculties.  For  be  it  any  member  of  the  material  body  or 
a  faculty,  exercise  of  it  is  essential  to  its  growth.  And 
the  very  best  thing  I  can  suggest  for  girls,  as  well  as  boys, 
is  to  call  into  active  exercise  the  reasoning  faculties. 

Sympathize  with  them  and  show  them  you  are  inter- 
ested in  their  play,  as  well  as  their  work.  But  do  try  to 
have  them  develop  originality,  free  them  from  the  bond- 


58  Mother's  Help  and 

age  of  parrotism  or  imitation,  with  which  our  mental  de- 
velopment has  been  retarded  and  our  brains  wearied. 
Encourage  them  in  searching  for  new  fields  of  thought 
and  action.  It  requires  bravery  to  do  this  ;  but  brave 
they  must  be,  since  we  are  training  them  to  rise  above 
the  use  of  fire-arms  and  that  relic  of  barbarism — war. 
Now  we  see  they  are  to  rely  upon  sympathy,  their  mental 
endowments,  their  honor,  their  moral  impulse,  for  peace 
and  protection. 


Child's  Friend. 


59 


Effirmattbe  antr  Negatibe. 

SOME  parents  exerted  themselves  as  much 
in  developing  the  moral  character  of  their 
children,  as  they  do  in  making  them  please 
their  hobbies,  they  would  indeed  be  paren- 
tal models.  With  children  ever  pursue  an 
affirmative — not  a  negative — course.  No, 
don't;  quit,  stop  that,  you  sha'n't,  go  away 
from  that,  etc.,  are  expressions  that  are 
impolite  and  rude  enough  to  show  that  those 
who  indulge  in  the  use  of  them  are  yet  in  the 
toils  of  barbarism.  They  also  expose  a  tantalizing,  soul- 
devouring  trait  of  character  that  even  the  common  beasts 
are  fortunate  enough  not  to  have  acquired. 

And  as  for  those  creatures  (any  of  us  who  travel, 
about  with  our  eyes  and  ears  open  know  that  these 
expressions  are  used  by  those  who  dress  and  look  like 
human,  civilized  persons)  who  say.  "I'll  lick  you 
within  an  inch  of  your  life  ;  "  "  I'll  skin  you  ;  "  "take 
that  boy  down  and  strap  him  ;  "  "  I'll  maul  you  ;  "  "  shut 
your  mouth,  do  you  hear?  "  and  many  other  such. — Well, 
the  wrath  that  is  in  me  can  not  find  vent  through  my  pen, 
and  remains  pent  up  within  me.  I  will  just  mildly  say 
that — those  who  doubt  there  are  real  devils  might  do 
well  to  consult  the  children  whose  ears  have  been  cal- 
loused and  hearts  scarred  by  these  satanic  thrusts.  They 
could  reveal  startling  and  convincing  proof  to  the  satan 
and  infernio  doubters. 


60  Mother's  Help  ana 

The  ' '  Wharf  Rats  ' '  fare  as  well  as  this  ;  but  in  the 
home,  and  from  civilized  parents,  we  look  for  a  more 
humane  parental  authority. 

These  creatures  constantly  underrate  the  capacity  of 
children  to  understand  and  to  suffer,  and  forget  the 
words  of  Franklin — "Since  I  can  not  govern  my  own 
tongue,  though  within  my  own  teeth,  how  can  I  hope  to 
govern  the  tongues  of  others."  Think  you  not  that  it 
is  more  within  the  sphere  of  our  domain  to  win  the  child 
away  from  its  mischievous  doings,  by  kind  words  ?  Lead- 
ing is  infinitely  more  civilized  and  effectual  than  kicks, 
threats  and  forcing.  I  often  wonder  if  such  cruel  per- 
sons want  these  children.  If  they  don't,  why  have 
them  ?  Or,  having  them,  why  not  give  them  away. 
They  would  probably  find  it  stupid  amusement  to  blow 
out  their  inward  cussedness  against  lifeless  furniture,  and 
so  use  the  little  darlings  to  enliven  the  scenes.  If  they 
want  them  for  any  higher  purpose,  why  not  treat  them 
accordingly  ?  For  we  know  '  tis  true  that  no  greater 
pleasure  can  be  had  than  comes  from  loving  and  being 
loved,  and  we  are  never  so  sure  of  it  as  when  we  have 
it  from  the  little  ones.  Love  is  the  only  thing  that  will 
pay  reliable  interest  on  the  outlay.  Joy  is  wealth  ;  and 
love,  and  being  loved  produces  the  highest  and  most  last- 
ing joy.  "  Love  is  the  legal  tender  of  the  soul,  and  we 
need  not  be  rich  to  be- happy." 

It  is  a  mistake  to  suppose  that  love  can  only  find  ex- 
pression in  kisses  and  caresses.  Numerous  and  ever  pres- 
ent are  the  opportunities  to  make  a  lasting  impression  of 
ouraffection  for  those  near  and  dear  to  us.  Weshouldnot 
count  these  chances  as  worthless ;  our  dear  ones  value 
above  rubies  the  many  little  courtesies  dealt  out  to  them 
by  our  looks,  words,  and  acts. 

An  ideal,  or  at  least  a  high  order  of  government  at- 


Child's  Friend.  61 

tract! vely  worded,  framed  and  hung  up  in  a  conspicuous 
place,  as  a  constant  reminder,  is  no  doubt  a  great  help  in 
bringing  about  a  realization  that  God  sent  us  this  little 
populace,  with  souls  and  loving  tender  hearts,  to  be 
governed,  not  by  a  monarchy,  but  by  a  republic.  As 
we  would  like  to  be  governed,  so  let  us  govern  children. 
When  a  child  does  that  which  seems  to  us  an  error,  or 
which  does  not  coincide  with  our  views,  if  we  will,  before 
punishing  it,  repeat  to  ourselves  slowly,  "  God  is  love," 
we  shall  better  discern  what  course  to  pursue.  Re- 
peated punishment  hardens  some  children  beyond  any- 
thing that  can  possibly  avail  them  any  good  ;  while  with 
others  it  weakens  the  intellect  and  character.  In  any 
case  I  deplore  corporal  punishment  as  a  hindrance  in 
the  way  of  a  child's  working  out  Nature's  God-given 
mission. 

Nature  in  childhood  is  active,  and  if  we  do  not  make 
some  other  object  more  attractive  than  the  one  they  are 
at,  they  will  pursue  it  with  renewed  vigor  every  time  you 
say  Don't ;  because  their  mind  becomes  concentrated  on 
that  object.  But  if  we  call  the  child's  attention  to 
another  thing  and  make  it  appear  to  him  more  attractive 
he  will  at  once  come  to  it.  The  affirmative  will  win  every 
time  without  a  battle.  No  ugly  words,  no  whippings, 
no  squalls.  Try  the  affirmative  course  of  government 
and  you  will  never  go  back  to  the  ugly  authoritative  way. 

Our  intelligence  is  given  us  that  we  may  help  Nature 
by  storing  up  the  fittest  knowledge  we  have  gained,  to  use 
as  a  power  behind  the  throne  in  aiding  the  child.  Let 
us  not  forget  that  "  in  the  infant  of  to-day  we  control  the 
possibilities  of  all  coming  generations  for  glory  or  de- 
spair, life  or  extinction." 


62  Mother's  Help  and 


HIS  is  a  fault  so  commonly  indulged  in 
by  good  people,  as  well  as  by  bad,  as 
to  call  forth  some  remarks.  Many 
persons  remember  to  their  "dying 
day  ' '  the  effects  of  frights  given  them 
in  childhood  by  friends  in  moments  of 
heedlessness,  forgetful  of  sympathy. 
Now  good  readers  I  pray  you  do  not  com- 
mit this  error  as  it  does  have  bad  effects  on 
children  and  our  mission  is  not  to  add  gloomy 
paragraphs  to  the  pages  of  their  lives.  Cowards  are 
made  by  frights  andthe  tyranny  of  parents,  guardians, 
and  teachers  over  children. 

Childhood,  the  very  emblem  of  Innocence  and  Promise, 
must  it  be  stunted  and  in  every  way  robbed  of  its  sweet- 
ness and  trust  by  the  heedlessness  of  older  ones  who 
enslave  it  with  fear  ? 

Do  not  unduly  excite  the  child,  whether  it  be  in 
play  or  otherwise,  it  is  bad  for  it,  in  that  it  robs  the 
child  of  vitality.  Try  to  find  amusement  for  yourself  in 
watching  its  capers.  Activity  in  the  child  when 
prompted  from  within  is  normal ;  but  excitement  en- 
couraged or  inspired  by  another,  draws  upon  and  runs 
off  the  vitality  that  should  be  conserved  for  the  child's 
development. 


Child's  Friend. 


"(   T  is  very  tiresome  and  weakening  to  a  child 
to   be   constantly    watched   and   handled. 
Put  the  child  in  a  safe  place  and  within 
hearing,   show    it    how    to   amuse  itself. 
Then  leave  it  with  a  smile,  go  about  your 
affairs,  sending  it  good  thoughts  or  hap- 
pily  singing — the    mother's    song  has   a 
splendid  influence  on  the  child,  and  I  con- 
sider a  child  unfortunate  in  having  a  mother 
who  does  not  sing.     Call  to  the  child  occasion- 
ally and  tell  it  that  you  love  it. 

Don't  dress  it  up  in  such  finery  that  its  freedom  and 
play  will  in  any  way  be  impeded.  Clothing  is  too  fre- 
quently the  bane  of  the  child's  life:  in  infancy  it  restricts  ; 
in  childhood  the  greater  portion  of  the  nagging  and  pun- 
ishment is  due  to  the  fact  that  the  clothing  was  not  made 
to  suit  the  natural  convenience  and  comfort  of  the  child. 
In  infancy  this  discomfort  irritates  it  into  fretfulness. 
In  childhood  it  is  punished  for  soiling  or  tearing  the 
clothes.  Then,  too,  by  dress  is  its  attention  called  away 
from  its  play  or  study,  producing  vanity  or  humility,  as 
the  case  may  be,  to  an  extent  that  weakens  the  intellect 
for  better  occupation. 

Do  we  not  of  our  own  free  will  assume  the  office  of 
wife  and  mother  ?  If  we  do  not  wish  the  responsibility 
and  care,  we  should  not  expect  the  pleasure,  for  they  go 


64  Mother's  Help  and 

together.     Joys  on  earth  are  all  in  some  way  associated 
with  toil  and  care. 

Avoid  nagging  the  child.  Many  a  disposition  has 
been  ruined  by  nagging.  It  seems  the  chief  delight,  of 
some  parents  and  servants  to  have  constantly  an  evil  eye 
on  the  child  ;  watching — like  a  hawk  watches  a  tender 
chicken — for  an  opportunity  to  pounce  down  upon  it. 

We  usually  find  what  we  search  for.  And  if  we  look 
for  good,  we  shall  be  as  much  surprised  with  the  amount 
of  it  we  find,  as  we  were  delighted  with  the  quantity  of 
evil.  The  alacrity  with  which  they  nag  a  poor  defense- 
less child  shows  how  their  eyes  feast  on  and  gloat  over 
the  acts  which  their  evil  thoughts  prompted  the  child  to 
do,  and  their  own  eyes  magnified. 

If  a  child  is  told  that  he  is  bad,  and  lives  in  the  viru- 
lent atmosphere  of  these  thoughts  ;  he  might  better  be  in 
the  district  of  malaria,  or  a  flesh  destroying  pestilence. 
These  thoughts  expressed  or  inexpressed  are  subtle  forces 
potent  of  an  evil,  deeper,  more  far-reaching  and  soul-de- 
stroying than  any  malarial  germ  of  a  flesh-destroying 
nature. 

Thoughts  though  invisible  are  real  and  alive,  be  very 
careful  how  you  use  them  ;  if  you  can  not  use  them  dis- 
criminately.  then  have  them  always  wholesome  and  pure. 


Child' s  Friend. 


OU  can  not  dream  yourself  into  a  char- 
acter ;  you  must  hammer  and  forge 
yourself  one. ' ' — Froude. 

One  can  not  gain  force  of  charac- 
ter by  being  "coddled"  too  much. 
We  find  that  it  is  the  children  who, 
although  respectfully  and  kindly 
treated,  are  allowed  a  wide  field 
for  thought,  and  freedom  for  the  expres- 
sion of  it.  It  is  they  who  become  our  great 
men  and  women. 
Thralldom  of  all  sorts  is  antagonistic  to  the  growth 
of  force.  Give  the  young  an  incentive  for  acquiring  and 
retaining  this  desirable  quality.  Teach  them  from  early 
youth  that  by  constantly  desiring  and  expecting  strength 
of  character,  they  will  have  it.  The  desire,  the  implicit 
faith,  will  develop  it  within  them.  And  when  they  have 
it,  to  learn  to  use  it  for  good.  Many  who  have  acquired 
this  quality,  use  it  only  for  control,  or  gain  of  wealth  ; 
and  the  oppressed  or  poor  look  on  and  say,  ' '  See  how  the 
Lord  prospers  that  sinner ! ' '  They  themselves  might 
have  had  the  same  amount  of  force,  if  they  had  made  the 
same  effort  for  it ;  and  also,  if  they  had  acquired  it, 
might  have  used  it  to  even  worse  purpose  than  the  one  to 
whom  they  refer  in  envy. 


66  Mother's  Help  and 

With  this  rich  acquirement,  or  gift,  (for  some  have  it 
from  their  parents, )  failure  is  hardly  likely  to  occur,  or 
if  it  does,  the  possessor  will  pick  himself  or  herself  to- 
gether again,  look  about  and  turn  the  face  toward  success 
with  renewed  energy. 

The  girl,  as  well  as  boy,  should  be  inspired  with  this 
element  so  essential  to  protection,  freedom  and  success. 
I  appeal  to  all  who  have  girls,  poor  or  rich  (in  money), 
inculcate  in  their  education,  strength,  force  of  character. 
It  will  bridge  them  over  many  a  tide  of  temptation,  and 
'will  free  them  from  the  bondage  of  reliance  on  others. 
If  the  girls  have  means,  teach  them  the  value  of  money 
and  the  management  of  property.  Teach  them  to  be  in- 
terested in  ennobling  the  home.  In  making  it  beautiful 
with  objects  that  are  educating — a  lot  of  incongruous 
objects  of  bric-a-brac  scattered  throughout  the  house,  are 
anything  but  educative  of  refined  taste.  Set  apart  one 
room  for  all  such,  and  make  of  it  a  museum,  where  you 
may  take  your  friends  to  study  the  art  and  pottery  of 
many  nations.  But  do  not  make  a  kaleidoscope  of  your 
entire  house,  to  torture  the  eyes  and  nerves,  and  keep 
your  taste  down  among  the  low  arts.  Have  enough  in- 
dependence, enough  force  to  take  a  stand  against  all  odds 
of  neighborly  custom,  and  decorate  and  furnish  the  home 
in  a  harmonious,  restful  style.  Did  you  ever  stop  to 
think  that  half  the  discontent,  nervousness,  and  fatigue 
in  the  family  is  caused  by  the  inharmonious  relationship 
into  which  we  bring  the  many  colored  souvenirs  of  our 
travels  and  conquests?  Don't  depend  upon  glaring 
objects  of  art  for  cheering  the  home.  Have  enough 
force,  enough  brilliancy  in  yourself  to  be  the  ornament, 
the  attraction  of  the  home. 

When  the  girl  or  the  woman  is  able  to  outshine  all 
objects  about  the  house,  then  she  is  queen  and  need  not 


Child's  Friend.  67 

be  ashamed  to  tread  with  a  majestic  step  in  the  presence 
of  any  one. 

Remember  that, 

"  Home  is  not  merely  four  square  walls, 
Though  with  pictures  hung  and  gilded  ; 
Home  is  where  affection  calls, 
Filled  with  shrines  the  heart  hasbuilded." 

She  can  find  no  better  missionary  work  than  to  visit 
her  less  fortunate  neighbors  and  show  them  how  to  make 
the  home  beautiful — harmonious  (for  harmony  is  beauty), 
and  how  to  live. 

There  is  no  true  wisdom  and  happiness  in  bottling  up 
one's  knowledge.  If  it  is  good  for  you,  it  is  good  for 
others.  Show  them  how  to  improve  their  time  and  make 
the  best  of  their  opportunities.  To  constantly  aspire  to 
a  higher,  nobler  plane,  and  it  will  be  realized.  And  each 
of  these  in  turn  helping  others,  we  shall  be  delighted 
with  the  results. 

Woman  is  man's  moral  superior,  yet  she  does  not  at 
all  times  convince  him  that  she  is  his  mental  and  physi- 
cal equal.  Why?  Because  she  leans  on  him.  She  has  not 
constantly  before  her  a  desire  for  strength,  for  force. 
Her  dress  and  thought  have  kept  her  dependent.  And 
it  is  surprising,  in  this  age  of  progress,  how  the  habit  of 
dress  and  old-time  thought  cling  to  a  woman  only  to 
cripple  and  weaken  her ;  for  while  she  has  no  more  re- 
spect for  the  body  than  to  torture  and  distort  it  by  body 
and  foot  apparel,  that  divert  her  attention  and  dwarf  her 
intellect,  how  can  she  expect  him  to  hold  her  in  higher 
regard,  especially  if  she  has  no  noble,  self-reliant  crav- 
ings. Let  us  not  be  too  severe  on  the  men,  since  they 
are  what  their  mothers  trained  them  to  be.  When  woman 
trains  up  the  boys  to  be  ideal  men,  she  will  establish 


68  Mother's  Help  and 

the  health  and  salvation  of  her  own  sex.  Then  she  will 
no  longer  feel  herself  a  nonentity.  Her  eyes  are  opened, 
she  goes  to  a  full-length  mirror  to  look  at  herself.  Has 
she  just  burst  from  the  shell,  or  how  happens  it  that  she 
has  been  blind  so  long  ?  The  scales  fallen  from  her  eyes 
enables  her  to  see  herself  reflected  in  that  glass  as  she 
never  saw  herself  before  !  Why  that  contour  embodies  a 
sacred  being  !  and  as  such  she  declares  she  will  hence- 
forth feel  and  assert  herself!  Now,  she  is,  indeed,  fit  to 
build  a  race.  And  by  virtue  of  her  sacred  and  responsi- 
ble office,  she  must  have  the  highest  salary  any  service 
commands.  She  must  have  immunity  from  that  common 
custom  or  expression  of  being  "supported,"  which  has 
so  preyed  upon  her  and  the  home  as  to  well-nigh  wreck 
domestic  felicity.  She  must  be  allowed  a  salary  com- 
mensurate with  her  responsibility  and  the  means  of  the 
head  (?)  of  the  house — the  family  treasury. 

Man  needs  only  to  make  an  unbiased  investigation 
into  woman's  complex  and  harassing  duties,  to  admit 
that  he  would  not  undertake  even  her  ordinary  duties  at 
twice  her  salary,  leaving  out  the  consideration  of  her  in- 
estimable service  as  race  builder. 

Force  in  the  child  is  also,  in  a  great  measure,  de- 
pendent upon  the  moral  standard  of  the  father  ;  if  he 
has  no  control  over  himself  and  yields  to  temptation,  the 
child's  tendency  is  as  likely  as  not  to  be  the  same  way, 
wavering  or  yielding. 

Keeping  constantly  a  desire  for  a  quality  or  element, 
whether  it  be  good  or  evil,  that  you  will  draw  toward 
you.  And  so  with  regard  to  force,  teach  the  girls  and 
boys  that  it  is  not  pretty  to  be  ill,  weak,  simpering  or 
dependent.  That  Health,  Force,  and  Independence  are 
their  best  "stock  in  trade."  Not  till  they  have  th#se 


Child 's  Friend,  69 

can  they  fulfill  their  duty  to  themselves,  to  their  family, 
and  to  their  neighbor. 

We  should  not  feel  that  our  responsibility  is  limited 
to  the  area  within  our  own  garden  fence.  There  are 
many,  many  ways  in  which  we  can  help  make  our  unfort- 
unate neighbor's  life,  not  only  more  bearable,  but  actu- 
ally pleasurable.  Idle  gossip  is  poisonous,  but  an  inter- 
change of  ideas  or  wholesome  knowledge  gained,  is 
fruitful  of  great  good  in  a  neighborhood. 

George  Comb  says,  "  There  are  no  bad  human  facul- 
ties." The  propelling  faculties  must,  of  course,  be  pro- 
perly governed.  Pit  the  higher  faculties  against  them  ; 
this  makes  a  good  mental  gymnastic  exercise  that  is 
fruitful  of  telling  results,  and  is  the  best  "  bracer." 

That  the  lower  faculties  are  developed  first  is  no 
reason  for  saying  (as  many  do)  that  during  this  period  a 
child  is  a  savage,  no  more  than  an  oak  while  starting  its 
growth  is  some  other  tree  of  its  remote  ancestry.  While 
the  oak  is  starting  its  roots,  it  is  engaged  in  no  mean 
work,  for  through  these  is  it  nourished,  and  by  them 
held  firm  against  impending  storms.  The  oak  is  never 
above  recognizing  the  usefulness  of  these — its  lower 
members.  In  like  manner  may  our  lower  faculties  be 
utilized  to  the  good  of  our  higher  ones,  by  acting  as 
stimulants,  or  invigorators,  not  allowing  them  to  waste 
their  strength  in  their  own  activity  ;  but  as  I  said  let  the 
higher  ones  draw  force  from  them  ;  and  the  exercise  of 
keeping  them  in  check  gives  stamina  to  the  higher. 

Man,  in  his  efforts  to  supply  the  cravings  of  his  lower 
desires,  has  his  energy  so  overtaxed  and  weakened  as  to 
be  incapacitated  for  the  higher  dictates  of  reason,  and  puts 
them  off  from  one  time  to  another,  till  they  altogether 
cease  to  invite  attention  and  die  out  of  neglect.  He 
must  count  the  many  lesser  wants  as  unnecessary  for  his 


7o 


Mother's  Help  and 


superior  organism  if  he  wishes  his  higher,  nobler  attri- 
butes to  be  well  developed. 

If  the  oak  devotes  its  time  and  attention  mainly  to 
finding  soil  most  agreeable  to  its  roots,  it  may  fail  to  get 
that  which  will  produce  top,  and  may  forget  sunlight. 
A  person  with  abnormal — over-developed — lower  faculties 
is  as  much  a  failure  as  an  oak  all  gone  to  roots  and  no 
top. 


Child's  Friend. 


7-T 


©outage. 

"  Courage  is  boldness  built  of  moral  timber." 

HE  mortality  of  forty  per  cent  of  the 
hospital  nurses,  means  a  tenfold 
greater  loss  of  life  than  is  caused  by 
war,  and  yet  men  say  women  can  not 
fight  and  are  not  brave.  Surely  they 
die  in  the  interest  of  humanity.  A 
large  per  cent  of  these  die  of  infectious 
diseases,  caught  in  the  voluntary  discharge 
of  their  duties.  Add  to  this  item  the  de- 
struction of  limbs,  if  not  of  life,  by  blood  poisoning, 
insufficient  sleep,  overtaxing  of  the  nerves  and  muscles, 
lack  of  fresh  air  and  scenes,  and  we  are  convinced  that 
woman  is  brave  and  patriotic  too, — not  from  the  incentive 
of  glory,  nor  high  official  honors,  nor  yet  from  love  of 
bloodshed,  for  "the  truly  brave  are  soft  of  heart  and 
eyes."  She  cultivates  courage  to  enable  her  to  alleviate 
the  suffering  which  man's  misdirected  bravery — revenge 
— caused  to  exist. 

While  man  is  bent  on  destruction,  woman  follows  to 
resuscitate  and  rebuild,  much  as  a  nursemaid  goes  after 
the  child  to  pick  up  and  readjust  the  scattered  ruins  of 
its  toys.  Woman  follows  man  as  the  patcher  of  his  fol- 


72  Mother's  Help  and 

lies.  To  make  soulful  reparation  where  his  amusement 
has  destroyed.  Nor  is  this  sad  fact  limited  to  war  times, 
for  it  is  ever  true  air  through  life,  that  he  ruthlessly 
destroys  and  she  suffers  and  patches. 


Child's  Friend.  73 


tET  us  be  kind  and  patient  with  stupid  chil- 
dren, for  we  may  be  entertaining  unawares 
great  stars,  of  which  I'm  sure  there  would 
be  more,  but  for  the  constant  nagging  to 
which  they  are  subjected  at  school  and 
about  home.  This  discourages  them  and 
destroys  the  latent  forces.  Henry  Ward 
Beecher  was  stupid  as  a  boy,  for  his 
force  lay  generating  strength  with 
which  to  leap  forth  as  a  veritable  Vesu- 
vius at  the  right  moment.  And  who  shall  say  now  that 
his  stupid  boyhood  is  not  more  than  compensated  for. 

Very  many  of  our  great  men  and  women  who  have 
later  in  life  achieved  success  and  accomplished  twice  the 
work  allotted  them,  have  been  persons  who  were  stupid 
in  youth.  Their  very  senselessness  was  protecting  the 
germ  of  the  glory  they  were  to  diffuse.  Some  have  in- 
herited the  germ  of  GREATNESS,  and  others  have  through 
environment  the  element  that  enables  them  to  turn  to 
advantage  situations  which  to  the  less  favored  are  immi- 
nent of  danger.  Poverty,  sorrow,  disappointment  and 
opposition  are  adversaries  with  which  the  weakling  (the 
one  born  and  bred  without  courage  or  force)  fails  to 
grapple  successfully,  and  so  sinks  into  obscurity — a  fail- 
ure. Not  so  with  the  well  born,  however,  for  all  these 
to  him  are  only  objects  of  resistance  that  offer  him  oppor- 


74  Mother's  Help  and 

tunity — like  the  equipments  of  a  gymnasium — to  culti- 
vate and  establish  courage,  self-reliance,  enterprise, 
breadth  of  character  and  all  that  combines  to  make  a 
stalwart,  such  as  Nature  and  her  God  smile  to  see.  I 
do  not  mean  by  this  that  misfortune  is  necessary  to  suc- 
cess, not  at  all ;  it  were  far  better  for  us  all  to  have  done 
with  misfortune  ;  but  having  her,  let  us  wed  her  to  Am- 
bition and  they  twain  may  become  the  parent  of  Success. 

We  too  often,  alas  !  see  men  and  women  who  have  no 
courage  to  attempt  to  grapple  with  circumstances,  have 
no  determination  muscle — if  I  may  be  allowed  to  use  the 
expression — with  which  to  enable  them  to  ever  get  a 
good  grip  on  real  life. 

As  the  world  yet  is,  we  are  more  apt  than  not,  to  be 
hedged  about  with  repelling  forces,  it  is  far  better  that 
we  have  courage  from  birth,  or  acquire  it  early  in  life,  that 
we  may  be  the  better  fitted  to  resist  the  forces  that 
oppose  our  success.  And  what  is  success  ?  Physical, 
mental,  and  moral  progress,  or  the  progress  of  our  trin- 
ity. And  the  "secret  of  success  is  constancy  to  pur- 
pose."— D' Israel.  , 

"(Success  in  life  is  a  matter  not  so  much  of  talent  or 
opportunity  as  of  concentration  and  perseverance.)' 
—Rev.  C.  W.  Wendte. 


Child's  Friend. 


75 


©bertoorfceir 


EOPLE  talk  about  overworked  brains 
and   write  about  overworked  brains, 
and  attribute  the  lamentable  fact  to 
"cramming" — to    bookery  or   over- 
study.     Please   let   me  add  my  chip 
to   the  flame  of  agitation  :     In  mak- 
ing a  diagnosis  of  the  case  we  find  the 
lower   faculties  over-developed,    that   their 
$£^l         preponderance  over  the  higher,  nobler  facul- 
ties, calls  an  undue  amount  of  blood  and  nerve 
force  from  the  common  reservoir,  on  which  to 
feed.     And  the  human  body  being  limited  to  a  certain 
amount  of  life  is  stunted  by  this  unequal  distribution  of 
blood — the  life,  i.  e.,  the  brain  is  robbed  of  its  share  of 
nutriment   that  the  lower  faculties  may  be  abnormally 
developed.     This  fact   is  everywhere  so  apparent  as  to 
need  no  recital  of  instances. 

And  we  shall  continue  to  have  wrecked  brains,  and 
shattered  brains,  just  so  long  as  the  vitality  is  run  off  to 
other  channels  and  there  wasted.  Is  there  much  effort 
made  to  rescue  the  brain  from  the  doom  that  so  often 
awaits  it?  If  all  the  paper  and  ink  that  is  devoted  to  tell- 
ing us  we  are  getting  too  much  brain  were  appropriated 
to  telling  us  we  have  over-developed  the  animal  nature, 
and  how  to  overcome  this  error,  then  we  would  have 
more  literature  with  telling  effects.  You  see,  as  fast  as 


7 6  Mother's  Help  and 

we  have  a  demand  for  more  unfoldment  of  the  finer 
senses,  we  must  let  them  draw  from  the  reservoir  un- 
stinted. In  order  to  do  this  we  must  curtail  the  demands 
of  the  grosser  nature,  until  gradually  after  a  few  hundred 
years  the  lower  appetites  will  have  been  absorbed  and  a 
more  refined  race  be  evolved  in  the  stead  of  the  race  we 
now  are.  So  now  we  must  make  it,  not  only  unfashion- 
able to  have  brain  trouble,  but  a  positive  disgrace  and 
sin.  If  the  body  has  proper  exercise  to  keep  the  blood 
circulating,  and  plenty  of  fresh  air  breathed  into  the 
lungs  to  purify  the  blood,  and  the  thoughts  concentrated 
in  the  development  of  the  moral  and  intellectual  faculties, 
we  would  find  our  studies  none  too  much.  The  blood 
at  the  brain  needs  frequent  renewal  which  can  be  accom- 
plished by  manual  labor  or  gymnastics,  always  accom- 
panied by  deep  breathing  ;  then  go  back  to  study  and 
you  will  find  you  have  renewed  vigor  of  brain. 

THE   STAFF  OF   LIFE 

is  not  meat  as  you  will  see  elsewhere  in  this  volume ; 
flesh  food  stimulates  ani  develops  the  lower  nature  and 
calls  the  vitality  thither  to  aid  in  the  mischievous  work. 
Would  it  not  be  an  achievement  worthy  an  effort  to  get 
such  control  of  our  circulatory  system  as  will  enable  us 
to  give  the  moral  and  mental  divisions  of  our  nature,  the 
greater  portion  of  our  vitality,  which  is  but  rightly  due 
them  by  virtue  of  their  nobler  functions  ? 

We  have  been  constantly  reaching  out,  grasping  at, 
and  trying  to  conquer  and  possess  all  within  reach  and 
beyond  reach  ;  and  have  as  yet  only  in  rare  instances 
gotten  acquainted  with  ourselves,  or  ever  tried  to  get 
possession  of  the  best  our  higher  faculties  were  capable 
of  attaining. 


Child's  Friend.  77 

I  think  our  possibilities  are  limitless  just  so  fast  as 
we  can  abort  our  grosser  desires,  or  allow  them  to  be 
absorbed  by  the  vitality  that  converts  them  into  higher 
brain  power. 


Mother's  Help  and 


SSJorfc. 

There    is  always  hope    in  a  man  that  actually  works.     In 
idleness  alone  there  is  perpetual  despair." — Carlyle. 


ORTUNATEIvY  it  is  no  longer  fash- 
ionable to  be  idle.    This  is  a  wise  pro- 
vision just  now  as  regards  Women  ; 
for  the  men — save  a  few  wise  ones — 
are  rapidly  becoming  so  reckless  as  to 
be  unfit  to  govern  themselves. 
We  find  it   ever  thus, — that  the  greater 
strides   a   few   make,    the    more   degenerate 
others    become.      As    though    only    a    few 
understood   how   to   gather  the   right   force 
with   which   to   enter    the   upward   current, 
while  more  fall  into  degeneracy. 

When  Carlyle  said  there  was  hope  in  work  I  do  not 
believe  he  meant  that  work  to  be  a  business  of  scheming 
under  the  cloak  of  office,  to  cheat  and  tax  the  people  to 
within  an  inch  of  the  limits  of  their  endurance.  The 
women  who  formerly  'were  idle,  are  now  industriously 
engaged  in  forming  societies  for  the  prevention  of  op- 
pression, disease  and  crime.  This  is  a  wise  change  of 
tactics  from  those  so  long  in  use  by  the  men,  who  in 
their  short-sightedness  permit  oppression,  and  then  pun- 
ish the  crime  resulting  therefrom  ;  allow  insanity  and 
tax  the  people  for  asylums  ;  encourage  sickness  to  be 
cured  instead  of  prevented. 


Child's  Friend,  79 

Man  has  ' '  managed  ' '  all  these  thousands  of  years, 
and  learned  so  little  about  himself  and  his  needs,  that  it 
is  indeed  time  for  woman  to  be  up  and  looking  for  the 
' '  whys ' '  and  ' '  wherefores, ' '  of  the  present  state  of  labor 
and  morals.  She  will  find  work,  and  work  needful  to  be 
done,  in  variety  sufficient  to  suit  all  tastes,  and  in  quan- 
tity enough  to  prevent  rusting  out. 

It  does  look  as  though  the  most  prosy,  set-in-their- 
way,  short-sighted,  unprogressive  men  we  have,  are 
placed  at  the  head  of  institutions  for  the  education  of 
men  ;  while  the  progressive,  keen  and  far-sighted  men 
of  deep  thought  and  judgment,  have  given  themselves 
over  to  the  less  important  field  of  scientific  research, 
investigation  and  invention.  Now  if  these  long-visioned 
investigators  could  have  a  chance  with  the  college  boys, 
what  might  they  not  discover  in  those  boys  and  for  them, 
that  would  add  valuable  information  to  the  Science  of 
Man;  and  inventions  of  what  they  could  foresee  the 
young  man  stood  in  greatest  need.  But  no  ;  these  capa- 
ble men,  these  investigators,  must  needs  die  of  poverty 
in  the  garret,  while  the  coming  generation  is  tutored  by 
a  soulless, heartless  man,  made  up  of  musty  old  doctrines 
and  dead  languages  and  thinly  veneered  over  with  piety, 
yet  so  forbidding  in  his  looks  as  to  repulse  any  young 
man  who  may  have  an  "  idea  "  of  his  own,  about  which 
he  would  like  to  consult  some  one  with  sympathy  for 
' '  ideas. ' '  Thus  are  the  tender  growths  of  originality 
and  individuality  crushed  ;  and  the  seed  of  the  mother's 
planting  and  early  care  count  as  for  naught,  unless, 
perchance, a  gleam  of  sunshine  later  on  may  resuscitate  it. 

Women  need  not  distress  themselves  about  foreign 
mission  work  as  long  as  there  is  such  sore  need  of  our 
raking  the  rubbish  out  of  our  own  school  systems  and 
reconstructing  them.  I  hold  that  as  far  as  educational 


8o 

matters  are  concerned,  we  should  not  attempt  to  establish 
school  systems  among  the  foreign  heathen,  until  we  have 
done  our  duty  by  our  own  children,  in  solving  the  prob- 
lem of  education  at  home. 

The  most  valuable  service  a  man  can  render  his 
country  is  to  give  it  a  well-educated,  well-regulated 
family. 

Work  in  the  home  is  always  paramount,  in  impor- 
tance, to  all  others.  I  believe  it  was  Spurgeon  who  said, 
"Train  up  a  child  in  the  way  you  should  have  gone 
yourself."  If  we  wish  to  open  our  eyes  we  can  readily 
see  where  we  have  failed,  and  prevent  the  children  from 
falling  into  the  same  error.  And  a  woman  should  some- 
how manage  to  keep  such  control  over  her  sons  as  to  pre- 
vent their  losing  their  entity  in  the  mad  rush  for  gain. 
The  most  important  duty,  then,  is  with  her  own  chil- 
dren, that  they  may  learn  useful  work. 

"Take  the  very  little  child  into  the  kindergarten  and 
there  begin  the  work  of  physical,  mental  and  moral  train- 
ing. Put  the  child  in  possession  of  his  powers  ;  develop 
his  faculties  ;  unfold  his  moral  nature  ;  cultivate  mechan- 
ical skill  in  the  use  of  the  hands  ;  give  him  a  sense  of 
symmetry  and  harmony  ;  a  quick  judgment  of  number, 
measure  and  size  ;  stimulate  his  inventive  faculties  ;  make 
him  familiar  with  the  custom  and  usage  of  well-ordered 
lives ;  teach  him  to  be  kind,  courteous,  helpful  and  un- 
selfish ;  inspire  him  to  love  whatsoever  things  are  true, 
and  pure,  and  right,  and  kind,  and  noble,  and  thus 
equipped  physically,  mentally  and  morally,  send  him 
forth  to  a  wider  range  of  study,  which  should  include 
some  sort  of  industrial  training — that  is,  the  putting  of 
the  boy  or  girl  into  possession  of  the  tools  for  technical 
employment  or  for  the  cultivation  of  the  arts,  of  drawing 
and  kindred  employment,  and  still  further  on,  the  boy  or 


Child's  Friend.  81 

girl  should  have  a  complete  trade.  Thus  they  will  be 
prepared  to  solve  the  rugged  problem  of  existence  by 
earning  their  own  living  through  honest,  faithful  work, ' ' 
and  become  independent  individuals. 

No  matter  what  our  station  in  life  is,  we  should  not 
neglect  opportunities  to  have  our  children  render  their 
little  friends  a  service.  A  good  plan  by  which  to  awaken 
a  philanthropic  spirit  in  the  child  is  to  have  its  early  in- 
dustrial work  directed  to  making  something  to  give  away 
to  members  of  the  family,  to  friends,  and  to  poor  chil- 
dren. This  is  fruitful  of  many  good  results.  It  accus- 
toms the  child  to  painstaking  when  he  knows  what  he  is 
making  is  not  to  be  thrown  away  ;  he  gets  to  feeling  an 
interest  in  the  ones  for  whom  he  makes  the  articles  ;  and 
his  interest  in  others  increases  with  every  gift  of  his  own 
making  ;  and  he  in  turn  becomes  endeared  to  them.  So 
by  the  time  he  is  a  man  he  is  on  warm,  friendly  terms 
with  his  fellow  men.  And  the  same  with  the  girl.  Gifts 
bought  and  given  to  friends  have  but  little  more  than  a 
commercial  value,  while  these  articles  which  we  make 
have  chiseled  into  them  or  woven  into  them  our  senti- 
ment— a  part  of  our  very  life,  which  serves  as  a  thread  of 
friendship  to  link  us  closer  to  them.  L,et  the  children 
try  making  something  pretty  for  the  house  help  ;  if  they 
are  at  all  susceptible,  it  will  act  like  a  charm. 

Woman  can  always  manage  to  find  time  to  give  a  little 
mental  and  moral  instruction  to  her  helpers  about  the 
house.  This  will  not  lower  her  standard,  but  will  raise 
theirs  ;  so  that  she  and  her  children  may  always  be  in 
good  society.  A  woman  should  refuse  to  employ  ignor- 
ant helpers  who  are  unwilling  to  be  educated  and  guided 
by  her  counsel.  The  helpful  suggestions  by  which  the 
husband  and  children  profit,  should  not  come  amiss  to 
the  helpers  ;  nor  need  the  hired  persons  fearto  advise  with 


82  Mother' s  Help  and 

her  about  their  family  at  home,  as  her  education,  experi- 
ence and  sympathy  enable  her  to  judge  what  is  good  for 
them,  too.  Thus  she  may  go  on  extending  her  work  and 
giving  inspiration  and  hope  to  her  neighbors. 

In  large  cities  the  labor  vineyard  is  immense,  for 
with  charity,  reform,  physical,  mental  and  moral  culture, 
no  room  is  left  for  idleness. 

In  Chicago,  philanthropic  women  of  four  different 
schools  of  physicians — inspired  by  Dr.  Frances  Dickin- 
son— met  on  one  common  ground  and  effected  a  new 
departure,  by  organizing  themselves  into  a  society  for 
the  prevention  of  disease. 

In  some  parts  of  China  it  has  long  been  the  custom 
to  keep  physicians  regularly  hired  to  keep  the  people 
well,  and  when  the  physician  allows  his  patients  to  get 
ill,  his  salary  is  at  once  suspended  till  their  recovery. 

This  Sanitary  Association  is  something  really  worthy 
of  notice  ;  and  one  is  surprised  that  in  this  day  of  prog- 
ress such  respectable  measures  had  not  before  been 
adopted.  We  shall  now  hire  ourselves  kept  in  health  at 
a  much  less  expense  than  it  cost  us  to  be  cured  or  killed 
in  the  old  way.  These  bright  women  have  ingeniously 
formulated  a  system  that  will  save  their  patients  much 
inconvenience  and  suffering  by  educating  them  up  to  a 
standard  of  sanitary  science,  whereby  they  will  eventu- 
ally do  away  with  dosing.  They  have  doubtless  discov- 
ered that  the  only  true  elixir  of  life  is,  to  know  and 
honor  thyself,  rather  than  prolong  a  living  death  with 
the  slight  amelioration  drugs  offer. 

In  the  country  these  progressive  lines  of  work  may 
be  taken  up  on  a  small  scale  ;  also  reading  societies  estab- 
lished ;  for  well  has  Marion  Harland  said  that  She  who 
establishes  a  reading  society  in  the  country,  does  more 
by  far  than  the  medical  profession  in  keeping  women 


Child's  Friend.  83 

from  the  insane  asylum."  Keep  the  spare  moments 
occupied  in  some  pursuit  different  from  the  daily  routine 
of  duties,  yet  cheering,  wholesome  and  uplifting. 

A  pleasant  work  is  to  select  books,  here  and  there, 
new  or  second-hand,  containing  moral  and  useful  infor- 
mation ;  with  blue  ink  mark  them  to  be  returned  to  you 
in  a  fortnight.  Circulate  these  among  working  people, 
or  such  as  have  from  carelessness  neglected  to  cultivate 
a  taste  for  wholesome  literature.  This  may  be  done  by 
single  individuals,  or  on  a  larger  scale  by  organized  soci- 
eties ;  but  free  to  all.  Especially  noticeable  for  good  is 
this  among  the  poor  when  done  in  a  friendly  way,  and 
not  as  charity. 

Teach  the  children  the  pleasure  resulting  from  wait- 
ing on  themselves,  and  doing  little  services  for  others. 
No  child,  rich  or  poor,  should  grow  up  in  idleness.  No 
intellectual  or  moral  education  should  be  considered  com- 
plete without  some  sort  of  handicraft.  Some  useful  and 
profitable  incentive  for  activity  is  a  great  thing  for 
expansion,  and  the  development  of  independence  and 
character.  Joseph  Rhodes  Buchanan  says:  "It  is  the 
materialism  of  labor  that  makes  its  stupefying  gloom — 
the  concentration  of  all  energy  upon  the  muscles  alone 
exhausts  the  brain  and  debases  the  soul,  but  when  the 
soul  is  active  as  the  botly,  the  dignity  of  humanity  is 
maintained,  the  pleasure  and  glory  of  life  are  found  to 
be  compatible  with  labor,  and  it  no  longer  debases  and 
impoverishes  the  soul,  but  gives  it  a  material  aid." 

"Sum  up  at  night  what  them  hast  done  by  day, 
And  in  the  morning  what  thou  hast  to  do. 
Dress  and  undress  thy  soul."— George  Herbert. 


84 


Mother's  Help  and 


antr  JBaugijter. 


HE  mother  must  call  science  to  guide 
the  unfolding  life  in  the  demands  now 
made  upon  Nature's  forces.     For  only 
when  they  are  rightly  distributed  and 
used,    does  the  ideal   woman   result. 
And   when   misdirected   we   can    but 
have  a  distorted  and  unnatural,  and  there- 
fore unhappy  woman.     If  the  developing 
process  is  thwarted,  the  opportunity  is  lost 
for  life. 

What  woman,  or  what  knowing  child,  can  be  happy 
when  suffering  the  result  of  the  parents'  indifference  or 
neglect. 

Think  you  it  speaks  well  of  our  ancestors,  whom  so 
many  delight  in  worshiping,  to  have  bequeathed,  out 
of  their  accumulation  of  strength,  grace,  and  wisdom,  so 
small  a  part  as  mostly  falls  to  us  ?  No  thanks  to  them 
for  bringing  into  existence  creatures  to  suffer  their  in- 
feriority. By  far  more  are  theyto  be  praLea,  who,  hav- 
ing acquired  wisdom,  yet  maintain  it  by  bequeathing  it 
to  their  children,  with  instructions  that  they  and  theirs 
after  them,  lose  it  not. 

All  progress  is  under  the  control  of  law,  and  all  efforts 
must  be  shaped  in  accordance  therewith. 

The  most  important  period  under  consideration  for 
the  girl,  and  also  for  her  future  offspring,  is  her  develop- 
ing period.  Misdirected  judgment  at  this  time,  will 
prove  a  misfortune  to  the  girl  when  she  reaches  maturity, 


Child's  Friend.  85 

and  will  rob  her  offspring  of  the  perfecting  inheritance 
they  have  a  right  to  demand. 

When  our  thoughts  cease  to  revert  to  memories  of  the 
bygone,  and  pursue  an  upward  and  forward  course,  then 
will  humanity  be  made  better,  happier,  and  life  be  a  joy. 

"  Educate  a  woman  and  you  educate  the  race."  So, 
now,  mothers,  sisters,  guardians,  come,  let  us  pledge  our- 
selves that  the  education  we  give,  or  order  to  be  given, 
the  coming  woman,  shall  be  all  that  the  word  implies  ; 
not  a  one-sided  knowledge  of  books,  stored  up  in  the 
brain  ;  but  let  there  be  inculcated  therein  the  knowledge 
of  some  handicraft.  Every  girl,  as  well  as  boy,  should 
have  a  trade  and  a  profession,  and  should  be  able  to  play 
one  musical  instrument ;  and  above  all,  inspire  her  with 
an  ambition  to  obtain  a  perfect  womanhood,  physically 
as  well  as  mentally. 

Of  what  avail  are  great  mental  acquisitions  to  a  girl 
if  she  leaves  school  with  a  broken  constitution,  just  as 
the  realities  of  life  dawn  upon  her.  It  is  greatly  to  a 
girl's  credit  to  be  whole  and  well  developed.  It  is  not 
our  Heavenly  Father's  intention  to  have  her  arrest  Nature 
in  its  course  by  placing  obstacles  in  its  way,  which  she 
usually  does,  willfully,  or  ignorantly,  and  whichever  it 
be,  the  responsibility  is  with  the  mother  or  guardian,  who 
has  neglected  the  duties  entailed  upon  her.  A  mother's 
duties  toward  her  children  are  never  at  an  end,  even  if 
she  be  ninety  years  old.  And,  mothers,  let  us  remember 
that  it  is  unbecoming  to  be  constantly  reminding  the 
daughters  of  their  duty  toward  us,  while  we  are  forget- 
ting our  responsibility  as  mothers. 

If  we  wish  love  we  must  give  out  love.  If  we  show 
them  that  we  are  ever  mindful  of  their  real  good,  they  in 
turn  will  not  totally  disregard  our  comforts.  We  too 
often  see  mothers  strain  themselves  to  see  how  much 


86  Mother's  Help  and 

comfort,  pleasure  and  help  they  can  get  of  their  daughters 
when  they  really  should  put  forth  every  effort  to  conduce 
to  their  happiness  and  well-being.  To  give  them  un- 
reservedly all  that  goes  to  make  them  grow  and  develop 
symmetry,  amiability,  intellect,  judgment,  self-reliance 
and  the  many  other  attributes  that  unite  in  building  a 
complete  woman;  a  woman  free  from  the  bondage  of  ill- 
health  and  general  inharmony  ;  one  that  shall  be  a  living 
monument  to  the  mother's  good  work  and  shall  in  turn 
be  fitted  for  life.  Thus  shall  we  be  ever  looking  hope- 
fully forward,  which  is  infinitely  better  than  looking 
back  and  croaking. 

"  L,ook  forward  and  not  backward, 
Look  upward  and  not  downward, 
Look  outward  and  not  inward, 
And  lend  a  hand." — E.  E,  Hale. 

The  mother  should  make  it  a  sacred  duty  to  retain 
her  youth  and  good  looks;  to  be  neat  and  tastefully  at- 
tired at  all  times  ;  to  grow  old  beautifully  ;  to  grow  old 
gracefully.  And  furthermore  to  be  interested  in  the 
studies  and  amusements  of  the  daughters.  Enter  soul- 
fully  into  their  occupations  and  pleasures  ;  for  if  you  do 
not  you  will  surely  lose  their  society  and  confidence. 
That  which  is  beautiful  and  otherwise  harmonious  will 
attract  them  elsewhere  if  you  do  not  provide  it  at  home. 
This  is  true  in  our  personal  appearance  as  well  as  in 
other  matters  ;  and  the  children's  interests  and  happiness 
must  be  our  first  consideration. 

*** 

Girls,  be  modest  at  all  times  ;  but  most  especially 
when  in  the  street.  It  seldom  becomes  necessary  for 
young  ladies  to  go  into  the  public  thoroughfare  so  often 
as  to  have  their  face  and  form  become  as  familiar  to  its  • 


Child's  Friend.  87 

frequenters  as  the  lamp  posts.  The  human  form,  though 
physical,  carries  with  it  everywhere  your  soul,  and  is  too 
divine  to  be  thrust  on  the  public  gaze  as  a  commercial 
commodity. 

*** 

' '  A  great  many  difficulties  arise  from  falling  in  love 
with  the  wrong  person,"  says  Mr.  Ruskin. 

*** 

"  Is  your  heart  so  little  account  that  you  cut  it  like 
old  clothes,  after  any  fashion  to  fit  any  breast?  " 

— Rifhter. 
*** 

It  would  really  seem  so  to  look  around  at  the  hap- 
hazard manner  in  which  young  persons — and  some  not 
so  young — select  partners.  The  heart  seems  to  make  a 
poor  showing  ;  and  the  intellect  in  this  direction  fre- 
quently does  its  shabbiest  work.  Where  are  the  mothers 
about  this  time  ?  Not  on  duty,  evidently. 

*** 

"  There  is  one  article  absolutely  necessary — to  be  ever 
beloved,  one  must  be  ever  agreeable." 

—  Lady  Mary  W.  Montagu. 

*** 

"  Oh,  woman!  lovely  woman!  Nature  made  thee  to 
temper  man.  We  had  been  brutes  without  you." 

*** 

"  Madame  A is  zo  clever,  zo  charming;  her  voice 

is  to  me  like  musique;  her  hair  and  eyes  are  like  ze  comet 
in  ze  heavens!  " 

"  If  she  is  so  charming  why  don't  you  marry  her  ?  " 

"  Marry  her!  If  I  marry  her, where  will  I  go  to  spend 
my  evenings?  " 

It  has  so  long  been  the  custom  for  a  girl  to  look  upon 
the  marriage  ceremony  as  the  general  doxology  or  final 


88  Mother"  s  Help  and 

ending  of  her  career  as  charmer,  that  I  dare  say  this  fact 
is  no  small  agent  in  creating  disappointment  and  even 
disgust  in  the  husband  toward  the  wife.  The  women 
folk  have  a  mistaken  idea  right  here.  The  girls  fluff  up 
and  look  too  pretty  for  anything  until  they  are  ' '  en- 
gaged," and  some  until  the  "honey-moon"  wanes; 
their  ' '  market  is  made ' '  and  they  feel  that  they  have 
achieved  the  object  for  which  they  were  designed,  and 
that  to  lapse  into  untidiness,  with  utter  disregard  for 
looks,  and  still  less  regard  for  the  selection  of  choice 
language,  is  permissible  and  a  great  treat.  My  dear 
girls,  after  the  marriage  ceremony  is  the  time  you  need 
to  exercise  the  greatest  care  in  neatness,  harmony  in 
dress,  manners  and  speech  ;  and  to  be  altogether  fasci- 
nating ;  for  if  you  do  not,  he  will  go  to  spend  his  even- 
ings where  fascination  leads  him.  To  win  a  man's  love 
is  a  trifling  "  feat  "  as  compared  with  holding  that  love. 
And  let  me  advise  'you  not  to  be  too  familiar  with 
your  husband.  Hold  yourself  somewhat  in  reserve. 
That  familiarity  breeds  contempt  is  very  true  here. 

Victor  Hugo  very  wisely  said:  "There  is  in  this 
world  no  function  more  important  than  that  of  charming. 
To  shed  joy,  to  radiate  happiness,  to  cast  light  upon 
dark  days,  to  be  the  golden  thread  of  our  destiny, 
the  spirit  of  grace  and  harmony — is  not  this  to  render  a 
service  ?  Here  and  there  we  meet  one  who  possesses  the 
power  of  enchanting  all  about  her  ;  her  presence  lights 
up  the  house,  her  approach  is  like  a  cheering  warmth  ; 
she  passes  by,  and  we  are  content  ;  she  stays  awhile, 
and  we  are  happy.  She  is  the  Aurora  with  a  human 
face. ' ' 

In  order  to  be  charming  you  must  not  allow  yourself 
to  get  "lopsided"  (as  the  men  call  it).  Select  your 
food  with  a  view  to  keeping  the  nutritive  system  in  a 


Child's  Friend.  89 

fine  "condition  ;  and  take  daily  exercise  in  gymnastics 
and  deep  breathing,  until  you  have  the  feeling  of  having 
constantly  a  reserve  force  of  strength.  You  get  a  feel- 
ing of  satisfaction  that  is  an  adept  at  recreating  and 
beautifying  the  fcrm  and  face.  From  all  this  health  and 
good  feeling  come  joy  and  a  desire  to  please.  And  the 
husband  and  family  finding  home  women  and  the  home 
so  attractive  and  beautiful  will  soon  forget  the  outside 
charmers.  But  you  must  swear  allegiance  to  your  new 
acquisition  ;  do  not  flinch  from  your  good  course. 

Good  literature  and  music  are  now  so  cheap  that  you 
can  have  no  excuse  for  not  having  literary — musical 
soirees  every  evening  at  home.  Harmony  and  good  cheer 
are  powerful  forces  in  the  home. 


Mother's  Help  and 


brain 


USIC — vocal  or  instrumental — will 
bind  together  harmoniously  all 
who  are  the  common  recipients  of 
it.  In  the  workshop  it  acts  as  a 
positive  tonic,  inspiring  the  toiler 
with  renewed  energy.  In  the 
asylum  it  is  more  effectual  than 
the  bath,  the  lash,  or  the  strait- 
jacket  in  quieting  the  frenzied 
or  in  rousing  to  cheerfulness  the  de- 
spondent. In  prisons  (which  should  be  reformatories 
instead  of  institutions  of  torture)  its  value  as  a  reforma- 
tory agent  can  not  be  overestimated.  All  know  full 
well  the  restfulness  and  yet  animating  influence  of 
music  in  the  school.  And  in  church  how  it  unites  and 
lifts  all  out  of  the  low  desires  into  a  restful  attitude. 

Music  in  the  family  is  one  of  its  strongholds  ;  here 
it  banishes  harshness  and  flls  the  place  with  unity  of 
thought  and  harmony  of  soul.  All  joining  in  one  mel- 
ody are  held  united  while  Nature  comes  in  and  inter- 
twines the  chain  of  friendship  that  binds  them  together 
in  harmony.  That  oneness  of  sentiment  that  music 
more  than  anything  else  creates  should  be  more  fully 
appreciated  and  resorted  to  as  a  peace  restorer. 

Music  is  the  most  divine  for  home  government  be- 
cause it  is  more  acceptable  to  the  child  and  more  effica- 
cious than  any  government  of  an  inharmonious  nature. 
It  is  cheaper  than  a  doctor  and  quite  as  effectual  in  allay- 


Child's  Friend.  91 

ing  fevers  ;  is  the  best  opiate  in  cases  of  nervousness  and 
insomnia  ;  soothes  the  weary,  irritated  family  and  restores 
peace.  And  could  be  resorted  to  instead  of  law  in  many 
cases,  to  the  moral  and  financial  gain  of  many. 

' '  This  is  the  luxury  of  music.  It  touches  every  key 
of  memory,  and  stirs  all  the  hidden  springs  of  sorrow  and 
of  joy.  I  love  it  for  what  it  makes  me  forget,  and  for 
what  it  makes  me  remember." 


Mother' s  Help  aiid 


Smiling. 

"  You  smiled  upon  me  and  I  thought  it  was  spring,  and  my 
heart  put  forth  the  flowers  of  hope." 


E  ALL  want  SMILING  chil- 
dren, and  may  be  sure  they  will 
be  smilers  if  parents  will  carry 
their  faces  wreathed  in  smiles, 

NEVER  COUNTENANCING  A 
FROWN.  As  soon  as  baby  is  old 
enough  to  notice — yes,  before — smile  at 
it ;  as  it  grows  and  all  through  its 
infancy  and  youth,  never  permit  it  to  go 
to  sleep  with  clouds  on  the  face  and  tears  in  the  eyes — 
always  with  sweet,  peaceful  smiles.  Let  it  fall  asleep 
and  awaken  looking  at  smiling  pictures ;  this  is  good 
for  older  people  as  well,  and  will  really  and  truly  be 
found  a  more  potent  beautifier  than  all  cosmetics  com- 
bined. Hang  pictures  of  pretty,  smiling  children 
prominently  about  the  nursery  and  sleeping  rooms, 
especially  where  they  can  be  seen  by  the  child  in  its 
retiring  and  waking  hours.  The  happiness  of  the  child 
for  the  day  depends  much  upon  the  aspect  the  world 
presented  in  its  awakening  hours  ;  so  let  it  open  its 
eyes  on  a  beautiful,  harmonious  world. 

We  know  full  well  the  potent  influence  pictures  have 
on  us  for  evil  or  for  good  according  to  their  moral  tone, 


'Child's  Friend.  93 

more  do  they  impress  children  whose  characters  are  so 
plastic  as  to  yield  readily  to  the  casting  of  the  sentiment 
the  picture  expresses. 

Pictures,  be  they  ever  so  physically  perfect,  if  they 
have  not  about  them  an  ideal  sentiment,  can  not  lift  us 
above  the  sensuous  or  realistic  plane  on  which  we  stand. 
So  we  want  to  bear  in  mind  that  the  painter's  brush  must 
give  us  the  very  highest  order  Nature  affords  in  the  way 
of  bulk  and  contour,  or  form,  and  then  lift  it  into  a  higher 
plane  than  our  own  by  inspiring  it  with  an  ideal  expres- 
sion. Who  shall  say  the  painter's  and  sculptor's  mission 
is  not  one  of  the  highest  ?  He  is  a  missionary  who,  though 
his  lips  are  silent,  yet  speaks  in  a  language  understood 
by  all  civilized  nations.  His  greatest  monument  is  his 
own  expression  on  canvas,  in  stone,  or  clay,  of  that  which 
lies  deep  in  his  soul.  Artists  always  should  be,  and 
usually  are,  a  high  order  of  God's  servants.  Their  voice 
is  not  limited  to  one  short  life,  but  speaks  to  hungry 
humanity  in  the  ages  to  come.  So,  let  it  not  be  too 
mythical  to  be  believed,  but  let  it  be  idealistic  enough  to 
give  us  a  desire  for  the  higher,  better  life. 


94 


Mother's  Help  and 


13eautg. 

ROM  Emerson's  pen  we  find  something 
like  the  following :  '  'That  beauty  is  the 
normal  state,  is  shown  by  the  perpet- 
ual effort  of  Nature  to  attain  it.  *  *  * 
And  we  see  faces  every  day  which  have 
a  good  type,  but  have  been  marred  in 
the  casting ;  a  proof  that  we  are  all  entitled 
to  beauty,  should  have  been  beautiful,  if  our 
ancestors  had  kept  the  laws.  *  *  *  But  our 
bodies  do  not  fit  us,  but  caricature  and  satire 
us  *  #  *  Faces  are  rarely  true  to  any 
ideal  type,  but  are  a  record  in  sculpture  of  a  thousand 
anecdotes  of  whim  and  folly.  *  *  *  That  man  is 
physically,  as  well  as  metaphysically,  a  thing  of  shreds 
and  patches,  borrowed  unequally  from  good  and  bad 
ancestors  and  a  misfit  from  the  start. ' ' 

Professor  Moss  says  :  "In  order  to  realize  the  beauty 
that  should  be  the  universal  heritage  of  humanity,  the 
race  must  come  into  more  perfect  relationship  with  Nat- 
ure. Every  obstruction  to  her  method  of  attaining 
physical  perfection  must  be  removed,  and  conditions  of 
harmony  established.  This  can  be  done  by  observing 
first  that  the  better  influences  of  heredity  are  secured  in 
generation  ;  second,  by  observing  and  developing  the 
better  qualities  of  the  child,  and  by  eliminating  its  im- 
perfections." Study  the  foregoing  and  follow  it  out  with 
care,  and  the  result  will  amply  reward  your  painstaking. 


Child's  Friend.  95 

During  the  Centennial  exhibition  at  Philadelphia, 
for  lack  of  room  a  Quaker  was  put  to  lodge  with  a  Meth- 
odist. The  Quaker  promptly  retired,  while  his  room- 
mate betook  himself  to  prayer  (?),  in  the  course  of  which 
he  made  use  of  the  familiar  phrases,  "unworthy  of  Thy 
notice,"  "not  fit  to  approach  Thee,"  "poor  miserable 
sinner,"  "worm  of  the  dust,"  when,  to  his  surprise,  the 
Quaker  got  up  and  hastily  began  to  dress ;  being  ques- 
tioned as  to  the  cause  of  his  apparent  alarm,  the  Quaker 
replied,  "If  thou  be  of  the  character  indicated  in  thy 
prayer,  thou  be  no  fit  person  for  me  to  associate  with.  I 
feel  no  safety  with  thee."  So  it  has  for  a  long  time  been 
the  fashion  to  belittle  the  tenement  of  the  soul  in  many 
ways,  which,  as  we  see,  has  resulted  in  such  total  disre- 
gard for  the  body,  as  to  have  reduced  it  to  a  miserable 
caricature.  And  now  we  are  tired  of  it,  and  with  lamen- 
tations cry  for  the  beauty  of  the  Greeks.  "  A  revolution 
in  our  habit  of  thought  and  mode  of  dress  is  necessary 
for  a  speedy  recovery  of  the  lost  charms,  which,  thank 
God,  we  are  at  last  conscious  should  be  our  birthright. 
This  new  yearning  shall  not  be  without  multiform  merit, 
actually  re-creating  our  triune  nature  as  we  see  ;  for  it  is 
the  development  of  a  consciousness  that  reflects  on  the 
physical,  and  it,  in  turn,  on  the  emotional,  causing  a  re- 
flex action  that  has  the  power  of  rebuilding  the  body, 
mind  and  soul.  When  harmonious  relationship  and  co- 
operation are  established  with  our  trinity,  then  our  power 
to  grow  beautiful  and  evolve  higher  qualities,  and  abort 
lower  ones,  becomes  limitless. 

I  think  it  was  Socrates  that  prayed,  "  O  Pan,  and  all 
ye  other  gods,  grant  that  my  soul  may  be  beautiful,  and 
that  my  exterior  may  accord  with  my  soul !  " 

What  the  past  has  realized,  the  present  may  strive  for 
and  possess.  Study  the  human  form  ;  master  the  highest 


g6  Mother" 's  Help  and 

elements  of  beauty  and  the  laws  by  which  these  elements 
are  developed  and  conserved.  "  Be  true  to  the  deepest 
impulses  of  the  soul  and  the  highest  dictates  of  reason. 
Mark  well  the  laws  of  health.  Fix  permanently  in  mind 
the  outlines  of  the  typical  female  form,  and  honor  these 
outlines  by  refusing  to  sacrifice  them  upon  the  altar  of 
thoughtless  custom  or  of  ill-considered  fashion.  Rise 
above  the  pitiful  level  of  fashion  leaders, — ignorant  of 
everything  but  false  art  and  ignoble,  selfish  aims.  Court 
the  sweet  blessings  of  Nature  in  every  mood  and  tense ; 
drink  deeply  from  the  fountains  of  beauty,  and  let  the 
mysteries  of  her  love  rest  like  a  halo  upon  every  life. 
The  laws  of  health  are  the  key  to  this  higher  state  ; 
they  will  unlock  the  door  to  every  physical  and  spiritual 
good." 

While  strictly  speaking  it  is  the  mind  and  its  instru- 
ment, the  brain,  which  constitute  the  distinguishing 
features  of  mankind  ;  it  is  none  the  less  important  to  care 
well  for  the  body  ;  for  through  the  helpfulness  of  a  sound 
body  is  the  brain  nourished,  and  thus  strengthened  to 
do  the  will  of  the  mind  promptly  and  well ;  and  the  mind 
in  turn  is  thereby  encouraged  to  dictate  more  nobly. 
The  All-Creative  Force  delights  in  working  through 
healthy,  sound  agencies,  not  alone  in  the  Vegetable  aad 
I^ower  Animal  kingdoms,  but  as  well  in  the  case  of  man- 
kind. Yea,  much  more  is  it — according  to  the  visible 
indications  and  scientific  discoveries  —  necessary  that 
mankind  be  in  every  way  perfect,  that  it  may  the  more 
faithfully  fulfill  the  work  for  which  its  superior  organism 
and  spirituality  have  unquestionably  been  designed. 

Ivet  us  not,  therefore,  spurn  the  body  as  so  very  infe- 
rior to  the  mind,  as  not  to  recognize  its  important  office. 
It  is  out  of  our  ordinary  way  of  reasoning  to  say  that  a 
shabby,  neglected,  abused  body  is  a  fit  abode  for  the 


Child's  Friend.  97 

indwelling  of  anything  so  superior  as  all  hold  the  mind 
to  be. 

We  often  hear  people  say, — "Well,  I  am  as  God 
made  me. ' '  Now  this  is  not  so.  God  gives  us  the  model 
and  the  elements  from  which  to  make  the  body,  and  if 
we  will  but  open  our  understanding,  and  heed  His 
teachings,  we  may  mold  our  bodies  as  He  designed  them 
to  be — beautiful.  As  I  see  it,  this  body  is  only  a  loan, 
and  should  not  be  defiled.  For  example  :  Say  you  lend 
a  nice  Bible  to  a  person  to  use  indefinitely,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  better  'fitting  him  for  the  future  life,  and  he 
returns  it  to  you,  or  you  may  find  it  left  behind,  after  he 
has  gone,  all  soiled,  leaves  torn,  turned  down,  and  stained 
with  tobacco  juice  ;  would  you  not  readily  say  that  he 
had  subjected  that  book  to  a  treatment  for  which  it  was 
never  intended  ?  Would  you  not  say  he  had  shown  very 
little  respect  for  you  ?  And  yet  we  show  so  little  regard 
for  God — not  even  the  common  courtesy  we  show  an 
earth-friend — as  to  ill-treat  and  defile  the  body  He  per- 
mits us  to  use ;  and  when  done  with  it,  cast  it  back  to 
Him,  and  in  what  condition  ?  Surely  not  in  the  condition 
He  intended  us  to  leave  it. 

A  transition  from  this  life  to  the  next  need  not  be 
signalized  by  decay  of  the  body.  Nor  can  it  be  expected 
that  a  sojourn  in  a  diseased  body  will  in  any  way  enhance 
the  interests  of  the  soul. 

It  may  be  a  virtue  to  suffer  patiently,  uncomplainingly 
the  diseases  transmitted  to  us  ;  but  that  is  not  saying 
that  God  is  pleased  with  the  disease,  nor  that  it  is  any 
benefit  to  us  ;  no  more  than  old,  sour,  cracked  bottles  are 
a  benefit  to  the  new  wine  ;  or  that  we  would  be  more  fit 
for  heaven  if  we'd  go  and  live  in  a  dirty,  disagreeable 
den  of  infamy. 

We  are  to  use  the  body  only  for  what  it  was  intended, 


98 


Mother's  Help  and 


— an  abode  for  the  spirit  while  it  is  on  its  way  to  the  next 
existence.  Nor  should  we  allow  the  immortal  spirit  to 
be  embodied  in  mortal  clay  (the  flesh)  without  we  really 
desire  it  from  the  love  within  our  hearts. 

Any  object — be  it  art,  science  or  humanity — when 
born  of  evil  genius,  is  but  a  caricature,  grotesque ;  any 
creation  must  be  born  of  love  to  be  beautiful  and  complete. 


Child's  Friend. 


99 


Culture. 


HE  soul  struggles  to  speak  through  an 
imperfect  instrument  —  the  body  ;  some- 
times it  ceases  to  struggle,  and  finally 
has  nothing  to  say  ;  and  the  result  is 
that  a  brainy  education  has  superseded 
real  culture.  There  is  a  distinction 
between  the  two.  When  facts  become 
a  part  of  the  mind  they  enter  the  realm  of 
education  ;  but  they  do  not  enter  the  sphere 
of  culture  until  they  become  a  part  of  the 
entire  organism  or  trinity.  Education  molds  the  mind  ; 
culture  goes  further,  for  it  molds  the  entire  triune. 

Now  the  Physical  Drill  is  absolutely  necessary  to  cult- 
ure; it  is  a  freeing,  refining,  readjusting  process,  through 
which  the  organism  must  pass  before  we  can  hope  to 
make  of  it  a  fit  medium  for  expression.  This  Drill  is  as 
a  key,  turning  the  body  into  harmony  with  the  soul  and 
mind.  We  can  not  have  true  culture  without  harmo- 
nious relationship  between  the  three,  any  two  of  which 
are  incomplete  without  the  third.  No  person  is  a  com- 
plete whole  human  being  if  he  have  an  over  preponder- 
ance of  the  Emotional  nature  and  Brainy  development, 
and  only  a  fraction  of  a  Physical  habitation  ;  -  or  it  the 
body  —  the  agent  of  the  mind  and  soul  —  be  too  feeble,  or 
otherwise  unable  to  do  their  bidding.  Only  through  an 
acquaintance  with  our  triune  nature,  and  the  laws  that 
govern  it,  and  a  control  over  our  trinity,  can  we  say  we 
are  cultured. 


ioo  Mother's  Help  and 

When  disease,  too  much  fat,  immobility,  and  other 
opposing  forces,  hold  dominion  over  the  body — the 
agent  of  the  mental  and  emotional  natures — it  can  not  at 
the  same  time,  thus  conditioned,  act  in  sympathy  with, 
and  express  the  sentiments  of  the  higher  self;  and  as  we 
readily  see,  it  prevents  their  expressing  themselves,  and 
thus  retards  their  growth.  From  these  facts,  it  is  ap- 
parent that  those  who  ignore  the  body  are  sinning  against 
the  All- Wise  Creative-and-evolving  Force.  If  the  body 
had  not  been  really  essential  to  the  expansion,  expres- 
sion, and  upward  growth  of  the  ego — the  higher  entity 
of  the  human  life — there  would  have  been  no  body.  We 
must  therefore  appreciate  the  body  as  a  necessary  part  of 
our  trinity,  without  which  it  would  be  unable  to  pass  on 
through  this  life  into  the  higher. 

The  general  plan  of  the  body  serves  us  well,  and  the 
mechanism  is  truly  grand  in  its  complexity,  and  would 
work  with  marvelous  regularity  from  the  time  life  enters 
it,  till  it  departs  for  the  next  existence,  if  we  would  per- 
mit it ;  but  we  neglect  and  ill-treat  it,  and  its  resenting 
voice  is  pain,  disease,  and  deformity,  until  the  poor 
frame  is  truly  not  a  fit  medium  for  expression  or  temple 
for  the  soul. 

Mr.  Galton,  one  of  the  most  ardent  students  in 
Heredity,  and  who  has  won  universal  reputation  as  such, 
places  the  Greeks  two  gradations  above  any  other  races, 
ancient  or  modern.  Out  of  their  physical  splendor 
sprang  their  art  never  equaled.  The  Greeks  success- 
fully taught  that  fine  intelligence  and  normal  soul  can 
not  thrive  without  the  invigorating  companionship  of  a 
well-cultured  body. 

Physical  culture  and  Delsartean  Philosophy  are  of 
inestimable  value  to  the  artist,  the  actor,  the  musician, 


Child's  Friend.  101 

the  teacher,  the  society  people,  the  commoners,  but  most 
surely  to  the  mother. 

Uninterrupted  functional  activity  depends  much  upon 
the  poise  and  construction  of  the  body,  especially  the 
trunk  ;  and  this  is  why  I  say  that  physical  culture  should 
be  intelligently  prescribed. 

There  is  some  fine  work  to  be  done  before  we  can 
begin  with  the  surface  muscular  development.* 

A  HIGHER  PHYSICAL  PLANE 

Must  be  reached  before  we  can  hope  to  acquire  the  high 
standard  of  excellence,  mentally  and  morally  for  which 
we  were  created.  These  higher  qualities  must  be  bred 
and  fed  through  the  co-operation  of  a  beautiful  sound 
body;  and  through  it  get  enduring  strength  for  develop- 
ment, continuance,  and  transmission. 

PUNY,  DELICATE  CHILDREN 

Should  never  be  assigned  to  an  indoor  brainy  occupation. 
Try  gardening  at  once;  or  the  gymnasium;  and  if  he  or 
she  does  not  develop  into  robust  youth,  you  had  better 
at  once  dismiss  the  idea  of  making  of  him  a  brainy  pro- 
fessional. Brain  work  demands  a  stouter,  healthier  body 
and  vital  system  with  which  to  nourish  the  brain  than 
does  manual  work.  Unless  one  has  an  abundant  supply 
of  strength  stored  up,  and  supplement  it  by  vigorous  ex- 
ercise, they  had  better  at  once  abandon  the  thought  of 
brain  work,  or  make  up  their  minds  to  have  life  cut  short 
of  several  years.  The  demand  must  be  supplied  or  a 
collapse  is  inevitable. 

Discover  in  your  children  the  weak  and  undeveloped 
parts,  and  be  not  content  to  have  them  remain  so,  but 

*  See  Physical  Culture  by  this  author. 


IO2  Mother's  Help  and 

hasten  at  once  to  strengthen  and  develop  them  and 
bring  them  into  sympathy  with  other  parts.  Give 
the  left  hand  something  to  do,  in  fact,  let  it  do  the 
most  of  the  work,  this  will  equalize  the  growth.  Exer- 
cise increases  growth,  and  the  excess  of  activity  de- 
volved upon  the  right  side  has  developed  it  way  beyond 
the  left  side,  which  is  neglected  to  become  atrophied, 
till  it,  by  actual  measurement  and  weight,  is  found  to 
be  inferior  to  the  right  side. 

Kite  flying  is  good  for  the  boy  (and  girl,  too,)  as 
that  takes  him  out  into  the  fresh  air,  with  his  face  turned 
up  to  the  blue  sky,  his  arms  back  and  up — here  he  may 
use  his  poor  neglected  left  hand.  This  position  gives  ex- 
pansion to  the  entire  front  of  torso — trunk — and  healthy 
activity  to  the  vital  organs  ;  and  develops  a  fine  symmet- 
rical physique.  Now  see  the  volume  of  fresh  air  that 
can  be  taken  into  the  lungs.  Under  these  favorable  con- 
ditions the  mind  and  emotions  may  make  rapid  advance- 
ment. The  girl  may  ride,  walk,  climb  trees,  play  garden 
games,  train  shrubbery,  care  for  plants,  and  boat-row 
with  her  brother.  If  a  child  is  repressed  here  and  there 
in  her  play,  for  fear  of  spoiling  her  clothes,  or  because, 
as  some  prudish  mothers  think,  it  is  not  ladylike  to  romp 
and  play,  it  can  not  develop  that  soundness  and  symme- 
try of  physique,  strength  and  elasticity  of  muscle,  and 
easy  free  motion,  which  are  essential  to  its  health,  inde- 
pendence, arid  grace.  But  when  taken  in  youth  and  all 
brought  into  harmony  ready  to  co-operate  in  unison,  will 
carry  us  naturally  through  a  course  of  culture  that  will 
enable  us  to  experience  less  fatigue  from  the  day's  duties, 
be  the  work  what  it  may.  We  shall,  moreover,  better  un- 
derstand others,  and  solve  the  problems  of  every-day  life. 
'Twill  make  us  more  lenient  toward  others.  As  it  opens 
up  the  sympathetic  nature,  it  expands  us.  In  short,  it 


Child's  Friend.  103 

enables  us  to  express  ourselves  with  less  waste  of  energy, 
and  more  grace  and  graciousness. 

I  find  that  in  seminaries,  where  this  system  is  taught, 
the  girls  commit  to  memory  more  readily  than  formerly. 
Then,  too,  it  wards  off  homesickness,  which  is  a  point 
not  to  be  ignored,  and  goes  with  other  evidence  to  prove 
that  Physical  Culture,  in  the  true  sense  of  the  term,  is 
deep  and  far-reaching,  and  should  be  as  much  an  estab- 
lished custom  as  eating. 

That  a  gradual  physical  training  will  do  more  than 
all  else  for  imbeciles  and  the  insane,  has  been  too  thor- 
oughly tested  to  be  disputed.  Dr.  Playfare,  of  London, 
is  a  stanch  advocate  of  massage  and  physical  culture. 
To  his  name  may  be  added  that  of  Dr.  Weir  Mitchell,  of 
Philadelphia,  Dr.  Hartwell,  Wm.  Blaikie,  Dr.  Dudley  A. 
Sargent,  at  Harvard  University,  and,  indeed,  all  progress- 
ive persons  interested  in  the  human  welfare  of  the  race. 

Physical  culture  should  have  the  support  and  pro- 
tection of  the  best  people,  to  prevent  its  being  brought 
into  disrepute  by  the  professionals  who  defeat  the  object 
for  which  it  was  designed.  Dr.  Sargent  rightly  says  it 
is  more  creditable  to  present  to  the  world  an  hundred 
sound  symmetrical  men  and  women  to  become  fathers 
and  mothers  of  a  race,  than  to  produce  one  champion 
slugger,  one  prize  oarsman,  or  one  in  any  other  depart- 
ment of  exercise  for  vulgar  professional  purposes. 

Nature's  Master  has  provided  us  the  avenue  by  which 
to  reach  perfection,  and  nature  is  ready  and  anxious; 
but  we  must  co-operate,  we  must  give  her  our  most  in- 
telligent audience  ;  she  can  not  work  at  all  times  success- 
fully if  her  laws  are  ignored. 

UGLY   EXERCISES 

Such  as  jumping  rope  should  be  rigorously  excluded 
from  the  girl's  pastime  as  it  possesses  not  one  bit  of  merit, 


IO4  Mother 's  Help  and 

and  is  always  attended  with  injury.  A  little  later  in 
life  woman's  modern  ailments  are  attributed  to  stair 
climbing,  but  truly  springs  from  rope  jumping.  The 
prominent  shoulder  blades,  shooting  forward  of  the  head, 
and  hollowing  of  the  chest,  are  but  a  few  of  the  malfor- 
mations the  human  body  undergoes  in  the  toils  of  this 
UGLY  exercise. 

NASTY  GAMES 

Like  marble  playing  and  all  such  as  bring  the  face 
and  hand  forward  and  down  are  degrading  in  many  ways. 
In  the  first  place  the  position  cramps  the  vital  organs  ; 
then  narrows  and  shortens  the  front  thoracic  or  chest 
cavity ;  widens,  lengthens  and  bends  the  back,  just  the 
reverse  of  what  is  desired  (it  animalizes  them,  all  back 
and  no  chest)  ;  also  makes  the  head  shoot  forward  and 
shortens  the  sight,  all  of  which  is  injurious  to  the  health 
and  morals.  Then,  too,  these  games  beget  in  children 
a  slovenly  habit,  and  a  fancy  for  ' '  chancing. ' ' 

SIMPLE  EXERCISES  FOR  HOME  USE. 

After  sleeping  in  a  well-aired  room,  rise  promptly, 
yawn  (gape)  all  you  like  ;  this  is  nature's  own  method  of 
expanding  and  airing  the  throat.  Next  open  the  window 
a  little  more,  and  while  slowly  raising  the  arms — with 
closed  mouth — fill  the  lungs  to  their  full  capacity  with 
fresh  air,  and  exhale  slowly  as  the  arms  come  down. 
Repeat  this  three  or  more  times,  having  care  that  the 
chest  is  well  to  the  front  while  the  abdomen  and  hips  are 
drawn  back.  Next,  with  a  wet  towel  go  briskly  over  th 
neck  and  chest  and  dry  thoroughly  before  proceeding 
with  the  rest  of  your  bath.  This  may  be  followed  by  a. 
little  club  swinging  or  calisthenics  ;  but  have  a  care  that 
the  movements  are  steady  (not  by  jerks).  The  Dio  Lewis 


Child ''s  Friend.  105 

quick  movements  are  very  injurious  for,  not  only  do  they 
do  irreparable  injury  to  the  nervous  system  but  they 
develop  unevenness  in  the  muscles,  sometimes  to  such 
an  extent  as  to  give  one  the  appearance  of  being  knotty 
and  unsymmetrical.  These  quick  movements  can  only 
be  made  by  a  dreadful  waste  of  energy.  So  remember 
what  you  want  is  moderately  slow  and  steady,  but  firm 
movements.  Having  always  in  mind  that  chest  expan- 
sion, chest  development  is  of  first  and  greatest  import- 
ance. Correct  poise  is  the  next,  and  should  be  taught  at 
home,  in  the  schools,  in  church  and  in  the  clubs.  There 
are  few  things  which  distress  me  so  much  as  the  bad 
poise  and  ungainly  walk.  When  you  are  out  try  to  see 
how  little  space  you  can  take  up.  Use  a  narrow  base  on 
the  sidewalk.  It  is  the  intoxicated  and  the  weak-headed 
who  are  expected  to  wabble  all  over  the  sidewalk,  but 
one  with  a  clear  head  and  easy  working  joints,  is  ex- 
pected to  take  a  narrow  line  and  not  interfere  with  the 
other  pedestrians  in  the  street.  Just  before  going  to  bed 
at  night,  with  an  escort,  go  out  and  take  a  moderately 
brisk  walk  in  the  fresh  air  in  loose  clothing,  keeping  the 
chest  prominently  to  the  front  and  breathe  evenly. 

I  subjoin  a  rough  outline  for  Physical  Culture  work: 
I.  Decompose  or  relax  in  order  to  get  rid  of  the 
accumulated  rigidity   with   which  this   nervous  age  is 
afflicted. 

II.  Expansion  of  the  thoracic  cavity  for  the  vital 
organs,  and  to  accommodate  the  increased  lung  capacity 
which  is  to  follow. 

III.  Breathing — Mental,  moral  and  physical.     Dur- 
ing these  exercises  great  care  must  be  observed  regard- 
ing the  poise,  also  the  atmosphere. 

IV.  Muscles. — Such  exercises  as  develop  uniformly 
and  symmetrically  the  muscular  system 


io6  Mother's  Help  and 

V.  Recomposing. — Correct  readjustment,  not  only  of 
the  body,  but  also  of  the  mind,  all  the  different  poises, 
attitudes,  gestures  ;  for, 

VI.  Expression  and  carriage. 

VII.  Walking. — How  to  stand,  climb  stairs,  and 
walk  without  the  backache  and  nervousness  which 
accompany  a  lack  of  knowledge  of  the  arterial  and 
venous  circulations,  and  their  poises.* 

THE  SOCIAL  DIVISION  OF  LABOR, 

which  is  every  day  becoming  more  clearly  defined, 
renders  Physical  Culture  an  almost  absolute  necessity 
with  both  sexes  and  in  all  walks  of  life.  If  we  wish  to 
preserve  the  typical  human  form  from  utter  degeneracy, 
it  behooves  us  to  combine  our  efforts  in  establishing  and 
popularizing  a  system  of  CULTURE  that  will  bring 
under  cultivation  the  unused  members  and  muscles. 
Be  it  remembered,  too,  that  the  many  centuries  of  active 
use  to  which  our  organism  has  been  subjected  has 
brought  all  parts  into  such  close  sympathetic  relation- 
ship that  the  satisfactory  discharge  of  one  faculty's  duty 
depends  upon  the  uninterrupted  functions  of  the  others — 
one  and  all ;  this  being  the  case,  we  can  not  expect  to 
feel  well,  be  good-natured  and  beautiful,  and  in  harmony 
with  our  interiors  and  exteriors,  if  one  or  more  of  our 
members  become  inert,  or  the  respiratory  or  circulatory 
system  deranged.  With  these  various  derangements' 
we  can  expect  naught  else  than  that  we  shall  be  bilious, 
pimpled,  shriveled  and  old  looking  before  our  time. 

The  incessant  breaking  down  of  old  tissue  and  its 
uninterrupted  elimination,  together  with  a  faultless 


*  See  "  I<eFavre  on  Physical  Culture  "  for  further  particulars. 


Child's  Friend.  107 

nutritive  system,  are  the  most  potent  factors  in  beauti- 
fying and  prolonging  life. 

The  value  then,  we  see,  of  physical  culture — in   its 
true  sense — as  a  remedial  agent,  can  not  be  overestimated. 

*** 

THE  ART  OF  CONSERVING  ENERGY 

is  very  important  in  relation  to  our  animal  economy, 
since  we  know  that  80  per  cent  of  all  the  force  we  gen- 
erate is  wasted  to  no  earthly  purpose.  A  correct  under- 
standing of  this  culture  will  enable  us  to  conserve  energy 
with  which  to  prolong  life  one-fourth,  and  often  one-third 
or  half,  beyond  its  ordinary  duration.  But  it  must  be 
understood  that  I  do  not  claim  this  for  physical  culture 
in  the  common  application, — very  good,  to  be  sure,  but 
will  not  suffice  for  this  purpose.*  However,  we  may  all 
save  a  good  deal  by  being  less  fretful,  and  less  anxious 
and  active.  We — so  to  speak-  cross  the  bridge  before  we 
reach  it. 

Come  let  us  make  the  body  beautiful!  Let  us  make 
of  it  a  handsome  and  fit  agent  to  handle  and  deal  out 
graciously  the  sentiment  of  God's  creative  energy  and 
soul-life  within. 


*The  author  will  soon  publish  a  book  on  Physical  Culture  with  a  chapter 
devoted  to  this  subject. 


io8 


Mother's  Help  and 


ILK  and  farinaceous  food  form  the 
staple  up  to  the  eighth  year,  and 
about  the  age  of  fourteen  a  girl  or 
boy  requires  more  food   than  an 
adult.     When  growth   and  tissue 
changes  are  the  greatest,  food  must 
be  good  and  abundant.     Delicate 
persons  who  eat  little,  require  food 
of  a  better  flavor  and  quality  than  does  one  of 
hearty  appetite  and  hardy  constitution.     Food 
should  be  more  oily  for  cold  climate  than  for  warm. 

Feeding  by  hand  or  bottle  so  often  fails  because  of 
too  frequent  feeding,  and  sour  bottles.  Three  bottles  are 
none  too  many  to  have,  so  that  while  using  one,  a  second 
may  be  sweetening  in  water  containing  lime,  soda,  am- 
monia or  other  safe  cleansing  agent ;  while  a  third  is 
airing  in  the  sun,  ready  for  use  ;  and  you  want  as  many 
tubes  and  nipples  as  bottles,  that  they  may  undergo  the 
same  cleansing  process  as  the  bottles. 

From  a  natural  desire  to  strengthen  the  child,  the 
mother  is  disposed  to  give  the  food  too  strong,  to  over 
feed,  or  feed  too  frequently.  If  the  infant  is  allowed  to 
eat  fast,  it  not  only  gets  too  much,  but  it  also  fails  to 
excite  to  action  the  salivary  glands,  which  is  so  very 
essential  to  digestion.  The  fact  that  the  infant  dislikes 
to  be  idle,  should  not  lead  you  into  the  error  of  too  fre- 
quently feeding  it.  The  common  practice  of  soothing 


Child's  Friend.  109 

children  by  giving  them  cake  or  sweetmeats,  is  not  less 
pernicious  to  health  than  injurious  to  moral  welfare.  The 
stomach,  like  other  organs,  requires  a  period  of  repose 
to  regain  its  tone  after  being  engaged  in  digestion,  and 
if  the  child  be  allowed  to  eat  at  its  own  will  and  pleasure, 
indigestion  will  assuredly  follow,  and  lead  to  general  dis- 
order of  health. 

BOILING  THE  MILK. 

Some  physicians  say  that  owing  to  the  frequency  with 
which  milk  is  contaminated  with  germs  of  typhoid  fever, 
tuberculosis,  and  microbes  of  other  maladies,  it  is  safer  to 
boil  it.  And  I  will  add  that  it  is  still  safer  to  use  a  good 
trusty  brand  of  condensed  milk,  for  I've  seen  it  tested, 
and  never  saw  healthier  babies  than  under  this  regimen. 
While  babies  were  dying  all  about,  these  condensed-milk 
babies  fought  through  bravely.  Why  ?  Because,  as  we 
know,  that  milk  is  easily  contaminated  ;  indeed,  I  know 
of  nothing  that  so  readily  takes  up  and  carries  disease  as 
milk.  So  innocent  and  nourishing  when  pure,  yet  when 
contaminated  by  disease,  becomes  an  active  agent,  carry- 
ing destruction  and  death  to  the  unsuspecting.  Even 
the  mother's  milk,  in  her  anxious  hours,  poisons  the 
infant ;  it  becomes  a  ready  vehicle  for  the  transmission 
of  her  physical  and  mental  conditions  to  the  child.  And, 
as  for  myself,  I  should  prefer  good  condensed  milk  to  a 
wet  nurse,  whose  health  and  character  were  at  all  ques- 
tionable. The  heated  process  to  which  milk  is -subjected 
in  condensing  purifies  it  and  destroys  any  germs  of  dis- 
ease it  may  contain.  To  be  sure,  care  must  be  exercised 
not  to  use  it  too  rich  ;  add  sufficient  water  to  render  it 
digestible. 

I  wish  we  could  arrange  to  cultivate  the  South  Amer- 
ican Cow-Tree,  which  yields  a  fine  vegetable  milk  that  is 
always  safe. 


no  Mother's  Help  and 

After  the  appearance  of  teeth,  a  little  barley  gruel  or 
arrowroot  may  be  added  to  the  milk,  and  for  flatulency  or 
gripes,  a  little  toast  water,  made  from  well  toasted  bread 
may  be  added  to  the  milk. 

In  the  change  of  diet  and  of  weaning — not  because  it 
is  the  sixth  or  seventh  month — but  by  the  conditions  of 
the  child  ;  for  "  it  is  the  condition  of  the  organism,  and 
not  the  mere  lapse  of  a  certain  number  of  months  which 
ought  to  determine  the  change  of  diet  and  period  of 
weaning. ' '  Abqut  the  time  the  front  teeth  appear,  milk 
thickened  with  barley  gruel  or  arrowroot,  may  be  given 
twice  a  day,  and  the  intervals  between  suckling  gradually 
lengthened.  However,  no  obstinate  adherence  to  routine 
should  be  allowed  to  interfere  with  the  welfare  of  the  in- 
fant. When  the  bowels  are  confined,  barley  gruel  will 
be  better  than  anything  else.  When  they  are  too  open, 
boiled  milk  with  arrowroot  will  be  preferable. 

WEANING  should  take  place — all  things  in  ordina- 
rily favorable  conditions— about  the  ninth  or  tenth  month 
when  the  development  of  teeth  show  that  a  change  of 
food  is  proper.  If  weaning  can  be  brought  about  in  clear 
weather  when  the  child  can  be  much  out,  its  attention 
will  be  diverted  and  the  air,  at  the  same  time,  will  act  as 
a  tonic  and  "soothe  the  nervous  irritability." 

One  of  the  chief  sources  of  danger  at  the  time  of  wean- 
ing is  the  tendency  of  the  mother  or  nurse  to  consider 
every  cry  of  the  child  as  a  sign  of  hunger  which  she  must 
hasten  at  once  to  satisfy. 

Allowing  children  to  eat  at  all  hours,  and  to  make  of 
the  stomach  a  receptacle  for  nick-nacks  that  have  but  little 
food  value  is  injurious  to  health  and  morals  in  that  the 
blood  is  kept  down  in  the  stomach  constantly  and  actively 
engaged  in  the  process  of  digestion,  thereby  developing 
abnormally  the  lower  instincts  ;  and  when  the  blood  is 


Child' s  Friend.  1 1 1 

thus  kept  busy,  you  can  expect  naught  else  than  that  the 
intellect  will  be  stunted  for  lack  of  the  attention  and  nour- 
ishment it  should  be  permitted  to  have.  Regularity  in 
eating  is  therefore  essential  to  the  development  of  the 
mental  and  moral  as  well  as  physical. 

One  writer  says  that  we  should  go  about  with  food  in 
our  pockets  and  eat  whenever  hunger  overtakes  us ;  citing 
the  custom  of  cattle  as  practical  illustration  of  his  theory. 
Indeed  this  is  a  primitive  idea  to  thrust  upon  people  with 
minds.  He  probably  has  not  ' '  evoluted  ' '  beyond  creat- 
uredom  himself. 

Henry  Thompson  says  that  more  die  from  overeating 
than  undereating.  This  is  not  true  of  children,  how- 
ever ;  they  never  die  from  overeating,  because,  with  their 
rapid  growth  and  active  exercise,  there  is  an  immense 
change  of  tissue  going  on — an  amount  of  broken-down, 
being  thrown  off  and  at  the  same  time,  consequent  of 
their  rapid  growth,  an  amount  taken  on  exceeding  that 
of  the  adult,  who  has  attained  growth  and  only  takes  on 
enough  to  replace  what  breaks  down  ;  so  for  this  reason 
it  is  better  to  feed  a  child  or  growing  person  too  much 
than  not  enough.  If  it  is  fed  a  little  too  much  nature 
has  provided  an  escape  for  the  over  amount ;  but  has  pro- 
vided only  hunger  as  a  signal  for  more  material  with 
which  to  build  up. 

What  often  seems  like  gluttony  in  children  is  occa- 
sioned by  the  fact  that  that  with  which  they  are  fed  is 
not  the  right  kind  of  food, — it  is  not  what  Nature  de- 
mands, and  has  not  in  it  the  elements  with  which  to  build 
the  bone,  blood,  muscle,  etc.,  etc.,  that  go  to  make  up  the 
body  ;  and  there  is  a  restless  yearning  of  the  spirit  with- 
in, for  material  with  which  to  enlarge  and  perfect  its 
earthly  habitation  that  its  own  progress  may  go  on.  I 
do  wish  I  could  in  some  way  emphasize  the  imperative 


ii2  .If other's  Help  and 

need  of  parents  and  guardians  taking  this  subject  of  food 
home  to  their  hearts  and  let  it  weigh  heavy  on  their 
minds,  nor  take  rest  until  they  have  studied  into  the 
CHEMISTRY  of  FOOD,  and  applied  its  moral  teachings  in 
the  building  up  of  the  dear  little  bodies  upon  whose  clean 
and  symmetrical  growth  the  soul  so  much  depends  for 
normal  expansion,  and  for  which  we  shall  surely  be  re- 
sponsible ;  from  this  we  shall  find  no  escape. 

In  this  day  of  enlightenment  with  plenty  of  literature 
on  the  subject  of  diet,  it  bespeaks  us  to  be  very  negligent, 
or  else  of  a  very  low  trend  of  mind,  to  pedicure  our  feet, 
wear  silk  stockings,  and  often  even  doubt  that  the  carpet 
we  are  selecting  is  really  good  enough  for  us  to  walk  on, 
and  yet  show  such  utter  disregard  for  the  stomach, — that 
internal  machine  upon  whose  systematic  working  de- 
pends the  successful  development  of  our  entire  body  ;  add 
to  this  the  fact  that  upon  the  elements  contained  in  the 
food  taken  into  the  system,  depends  the  development  and 
the  establishment  of  the  character  that  is  being  molded 
by  inherited  and  exterior  forces  ;  these  facts  alone  should 
inspire  us  to  establish,  on  a  firm  basis,  a  system  of  food 
supply  commensurate  with  the  demand  necessary  to  pro- 
duce an  organism  fit  for  a  higher  plane  than  that  which 
we  have  so  long  been  content  to  occupy. 

Playfare,  of  London,  says, — 2.5  oz.  oi  nitrogenous 
food  is  sufficient  for  idlers,  but  the  active  need  2.5  oz. 
of  nitrogenous  and  10  oz.  of  carbonaceous  food.  Thus 
we  see  the  importance  of  selecting  food  for  the  child  and 
youth,  with  a  view  to  fitness,  and  then  be  generous  of  it. 

The  infant  may  be  fed  twice  at  night,  and  at  first, 
at  intervals  of  two  hours  during  the  day.  The  child 
has  not  the  capacity  for  the  amount  of  food,  at  a  time,  of 
an  adult,  while  in  reality,  if  it  runs  a  great  deal,  it  stands 
in  need  of  nearly  as  much  food  as  the  adult,  and  there- 


Child'1  s  Friend.  113 

fore  should  be  better  fed  at  meal-time  than  it  usually  is 
and  besides  have  a  lunch  between  meals  ;  for  this  I  rec- 
ommend apples  and  graham  or  oat-meal  crackers. 
Making  five  meals  a  day  for  a  growing  child  up  to  four- 
teen years  ;  two  light  meals  and  one  hearty  one  for  the 
adult,  and  two  meals  for  old  persons. 

HOW    TO     HEIGHTEN     AND    SHORTEN    THE 
CHILDREN. 

Our  discoveries  of  the  properties  of  food  value  to  be 
found  in  the  different  foods  makes  it  now  possible  for 
short  persons  to  have  tall  children,  if  they  so  wish,  even 
though  the  ancestors  may  have  been  short  and,  like- 
wise, for  persons  too  tall  to  shorten  their  children.  This 
remedy  may  be  resorted  to  any  time  before  the  child  is 
nine ;  but  to  realize  satisfactory  results  the  parents — 
especially  the  mother — should  begin  before  the  child's 
birth,  by  eating  foods  —  if  to  heighten  the  child  —  that 
contain  abundance  of  lime  ;  and  for  shortening,  such  as 
are  devoid  of  limy  properties.  If  she  will,  while  nursing 
the  child  at  the  breast,  continue  this  selection  of  such 
foods  as  will  tend  to  produce  the  desired  results,  what- 
ever these  may  be,  she  will  be  well  rewarded,  FOR  THE 
BODY  GROWS  UPON  WHAT  IT  IS  FED,  AND 
WILL  SHOW  FORTH  THE  PROPERTIES  OF  ITS 
MAKE-UP  WITH  WONDERFUL  TRUTHFUL- 
NESS. 

The  fontanelle,  if  closed  at  fourteen  months  and  two 
weeks,  and  the  child  well  developed,  will  usually  have 
about  fourteen  teeth,  and  the  child  will  have  been  able  to 
walk  fairly  well  several  weeks.  While  with  a  child  having 
the  fontanelle  open  months  later,  we  generally  find  few 
teeth  and,  in  proportion,  less  ability  to  walk,  as  its  system 


U4  Mother's  Help  and 

lacks  bone  material.  In  such  a  case  I  recommend  the 
same  as  for  heightening  the  stature,  i.  e. ,  such  foods  as 
contain  phosphates  of  magnesia,  phosphates  of  lime,  and 
carbonate  of  lime.  Some  say  we  get  this  lime  mostly 
from  the  water  we  drink  ;  such  as  settles  at  bottom  of  tea- 
kettle is  in  the  water  we  drink.  Water  is  very  import- 
ant in  our  animal  economy,  but  I  somehow  doubt  our 
ability  to  appropriate  properties  so  far-fetched  (from  the 
mineral  kingdom).  I  do  not  dispute  that  the  mineral 
salts  act  upon  the  food  while  in  the  stomach,  nor  that  it 
enters  the  circulation,  for  it  does  both.  But  only  to  dis- 
tress, as  the  human  body  can  not  appropriate  it,  and 
feels  at  variance  with  such  foreign  properties,  and  hence 
becomes  overtaxed  in  its  efforts  to  expel  them  from  the 
system. 

You  may  say,  why  is  it  then  that  persons  so  rapidly 
improve  when  they  go  to  mineral  springs?  Because 
there  they  partake  of  the  vegetation  which  abounds  in 
that  soil ;  then  they  are  out  in  the  fresh  air  more  than 
when  at  home ;  moreover  the  system  gets  a  thorough 
flushing,  which  it  seldom,  if  ever,  gets  at  home,  which 
we  may  liken  unto  going  away  to  watering  places  to  do 
our  internal  house-cleaning. 

So  we  see  that  in  the  natural  evolutionary  order  of 
things,  we  can  not  appropriate  a  mineral  direct  without 
its  having  first  entered  into  the  vegetable  kingdom, 
reaching  us  by  gradual,  successive  steps. 

We  might  send  the  Bushmen*  any  amount  of  our 
hard  water  for  drink,  and  they  would  never  develop  the 
beautiful  osseous  frame  of  the  Marylanders,  or  the  Ten- 
nesseeans,  or  Kentuckians  ;  nor  the  massive  bony  struct- 
ure of  the  fPatagonian  with  his  clumsy  bird,  the  Ostrich. 


*Wild  tribes  of  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope.    Smallest  people. 
tPatagonian  the  largest  human  being,  and  ostrich  largest  fowl. 


Child's  Friend.  115 

I  have  no  idea  that  the  Patagonian  and  ostrich  drink 
any  more  water  than  others,  but  they  get  their  big  bone 
from  living  in  a  limy  district  where  vegetation  absorbs 
lime  and  transfers  it  to  them,  as  is  the  case  in  the  lime- 
stone regions  of  America. 

From  the  foregoing  we  see  the  folly  of  depending 
upon  any  mineral  until  it  has  first  entered  the  vegetable 
kingdom.  Nor  do  I  advise  relying  upon  what  you  can 
get  in  flesh  food  (meat),  for  here  it  has  already  been 
appropriated  to  such  an  extent  that  it  has  lost  its  value. 
And  right  here  we  are  reminded  that  weak  and  broken- 
down  brains  would  be  less  frequent  if  we  would,  instead 
of  seeking  our  nutriment  from  our  own  kingdom  (the 
animal),  or  going  to  the  extreme  search  for  a  remedial 
agent  in  the  mineral  kingdom,  which  is  unorganized  and 
again  too  remote  from  our  own,  and  at  variance  with 
Nature's  course  ;  rather  keep  in  the  gently  flowing  cur- 
rent of  Nature's  forces,  allowing  the  vegetable  kingdom 
to  reorganize  its  best  life  elements  through  man.  This 
is  according  to  the  natural  evolving  energy  of  the  all- 
creative  life  force  of  the  universe. 

But  do  we  avail  ourselves  of  the  opportunity  at  hand, 
and  call  to  our  aid  the  finest,  most  nutritious,  and  high- 
est properties  our  friendly  vegetation  contains,  and  which 
have  so  well  prepared  themselves  to  ascend  and  co-op- 
erate with  us  in  carrying  the  organized  life  force  to 
higher  stages  ?  No  ;  usually  people  eschew  the  most 
helpful  foods  and  remedial  agents.  Craving  startling 
and  abnormal  sensations,  rather  than  courting  Nature's 
rhythmic  melody.  Their  depraved  tastes  have  led  them 
to  want  something  that  burns  and  smarts,  that  tastes 
bitter  and  is  nasty,  until  their  sensibilities  are  getting 
so  blunted  that  they  are  positively  wreckless  in  this  de- 
partment of  life,  thereby  laying  themselves  liable  to 


n6  Mother's  Help  and 

retard  their  mental  progress.  Cereals,  the  greatest  brain 
foods,  are  to  their  perverted  tastes  insipid,  and  they  turn 
from  a  friendly  dish  of  this  to  a  plate  of  meat  swimming  in 
blood  (ugh!),  and  now  they  think  they  are  happy  ;  but 
see!  one  after  another  of  these  flesh-eaters  loses  his 
brain  power.  With  this  diet  he  may  keep  up  his  animal 
strength,  but  if  he  wants  to  evolve  mind  power  he  must 
go  to  the  vegetable  kingdom  for  it.  Seek  for  it  among 
fruits  and  cereals.  For  adults  as  well  as  children  I  ad- 
vise a  generous  use  of  foods  made  of  whole  wheat,  whole 
oats,  and  beans ;  these  can  be  rendered  suitable  to  a 
child's  digestion  by  boiling  slowly  and  THOROUGHLY, 
and  pouring  liquid  and  all  through  a  coarse  sieve,  again 
place  it  on  the  stove  in  a  porcelain  dish  or  kettle  with 
enough  water  to  give  it  the  consistency  of  a  gruel. 
When  thoroughly  cooked  add  a  very  little  salt  (not  that 
we  need  salt,  but  that  the  long-established  habit  must  be 
put  away  gradually),  it  is  then  ready  to  use.  Any  of 
the  grains  or  vegetables  may  be  prepared  in  same  way 
and  given  the  child  in  small  spoonfuls  along  with  its 
milk  (both  should  be  warm). 

Under  no  consideration  should  fine  white  wheat  bread 
be  given  to  children.  It  is  bad  enough  for  the  many 
grown  people  to  subject  their  stomachs  to  the  trying  task 
of  digesting  it,  without  inflicting  upon  the  children  this 
baneful  custon,  which  a  dog  can  endure  only  a  few  weeks. 
The  most  nutritive  part  of  the  grain  is  that  which  lies 
directly  against  the  shell  and  is  found  in  whole  wheat 
and  whole  oat-flour.  These  same  properties  are  also 
found  in  meat  because  the  animal  gets  them  from  the 
vegetation  ;  but  the  value  is  greatly  lessened  by  the  ani- 
mal's use,  and  deteriorated  by  diseases  which  all  animals 
have.  At  Cambridge  we  had  a  class  in  dissection  and 
were  watching  the  markets  for  material  with  which  to 


Child's  Friend.  117 

work,  when  a  flock  of  Tennessee  lambs  arrived.  Aud  in 
the  course  of  a  few  days  ' '  choice  Tennessee  lamb  ' ' 
was  largely  advertised,  and  the  ready  purchasers  were 
enthusiastic  in  praise  of  the  savory  meat.  Meantime  we 
made  daily  visits  to  the  markets  examining  said  lambs 
and  selecting  lungs  and  other  portions  for  dissection  and 
study.  These  lambs  having  come  from  a  mild  state  into 
the  consumptive  state  (Mass.)  had — as  we  found  by 
examination — all,  without  exception,  contracted  pneu- 
monia. While  my  boarding-house  associates  appro- 
priated the  pneumonic  lamb  with  relish, I  smiled  serenely 
without  and  chuckled  in  my  vegetarian  sleeve  as  I  inno- 
cently regaled  myself  on  hygienic  diet.  Our  able  lecturer 
said  she  did  not  find  one  healthy  animal  in  a  hundred. 

If  people  eat  flesh  when  they  know  this,  it  shows 
they  prefer  nasty  food  to  clean  ;  it  shows  they  are  anx- 
ious to  decay;  for  if  they  are  building  up  their  body  with 
diseased  flesh  what  are  they  but  a  walking  mass  of  cor- 
ruption. 

I  here  introduce  a  letter  I  had  from  Mrs.  Chandler, 
who  is  well  known  throughout  America  as  President  of 
Moral  Educational  societies,  and  writer  on  Moral  topics  : 

THE  FOOD   FOR  CHILDREN. 

DEAR  MRS.  LE  FAVRE: — The  Vegetarian  Society  has  under- 
taken a  work  calculated  to  promote  health  physically  and  morally. 
Indeed,  the  relation  of  physical  and  moral  hygiene  is  very  inti- 
mate. It  has  seemed  to  me  strange  that  habit  should  override 
observation  and  stand  in  the  way  of  natural  evolution,  for  it  has 
long  been  my  opinion  that  if  only  the  natural  inclinations  of 
children  in  food  were  allowed  to  govern  their  diet,  instead  of  the 
customary  dishes  that  include  flesh,  fish,  and  fowl,  it  would  soon  be 
found  that  vegetarianism  is  the  tendency  of  the  human  appetite. 
When  not  misdirected,  children  almost  invariably  are  fond  of  fruit 


u8  Mother's  Help  and 

and  vegetables,  sometimes  they  crave  meat  but  oftener  they  are 
overborne  by  the  influence  of  their  elders  to  use  it. 

Meat  was  never  palatable  to  me  as  a  child,  and  I  have  never 
eaten  it  much.  It  has  been  ordered  by  physicians  to  "build  me 
up"  when  in  a  state  of  feebleness  or  nervous  prostration.  It 
never  "built,"  and  invariably  produced  feverishness,  and  aggra- 
vated insomnia,  and  at  last  I  clearly  proved  that  eating  beef  caused 
hemorrhoids.  The  London  Lancet  once  made  a  statement  that  was 
precisely  in  accord  with  my  experience  as  to  the  use  of  meat.  This 
medical  authority  claimed  the  truth,  that  meat  is  not  strengthen- 
ing but  stimulating.  That  persons  of  high  nervous  temperament 
or  of  sedentary  habits  are  not  benefited  by  the  use  of  meat,  that 
it  produces  nervous  excitability,  and  a  feverish  condition  that  dis- 
turbs unfavorably  the  brain  and  nerve  system. 

I  wish,  now  that  fruit  is  comparatively  cheap  and  plentiful,  the 
dear  children  could  be  left  to  enjoy  it,  andto  find  in  the  many  nice 
preparations  of  cereals,  the  nourishment  their  growing  bodies  need, 
untainted  with  the  tissues  of  dead  animals.  We  should  soon  have 
a  generation  who  would  find  no  difficulty  in  abstaining  from  alco- 
holic stimulants,  in  my  opinion,  if  we  could  eliminate  animal  food, 
and  educate  the  sense  of  taste  after  the  Kindergarten  method. 

I  have  passed  threescore  years  and  was  never  since  my  birth  in 
so  good  health  as  now.  Not  only  do  I  abstain  from  meat,  it  has 
become  simply  disgusting  to  me,  and  I  find  in  the  cereals  and  fruit, 
which  constitute  the  larger  part  of  my  diet,  a  strength  that  was 
never  experienced  from  the  use  of  meat. 

LUCINDA  B.  CHANDLER. 

The  oils  found  in  flesh  food  (meats)  can,  very  greatly 
to  the  child's  interest,  be  supplied  by  the  use  of  nuts, 
fruit  and  vegetable  oils,  after  the  child  is  old  enough  to 
require  more  oil  than  it  gets  in  the  milk.  Corn  contains 
a  very  useful  oil,  and  is  so  infinitely  superior  to  hog  lard, 
— which  is  the  corn  oil  later  on  having  gone  through  the 
beastly  swine  process  on  its  way  to  satisfy  the  perverted 
taste  man  has  cultivated — and,  indeed,  superior  to  any 
animal  fat.  Olive  oil,  cotton-seed  oil  and  nut  oils  do 
admirably  serve  the  purposes  for  which  lard  is  commonly 
used.  And  when  people  refuse  to  use  animal  fats  and 


Ch  ild1  s  Friend.  119 

foods,  other  vegetable  oils  and  cereal  preparations  will 
come  to  the  front.  For  scientific  men  and  millers  are 
keenly  alive  to  the  demands  of  the  public.  A  very 
dainty  butter  is  now  made  from  the  cocoanut  milk. 

MENU  FOR  ONE  DAY. 

BREAKFAST. 

Oranges. 
Cereal  coffee  with  cream  and  sugar. 

Cerealine,  with  cream  and  sugar. 
Eggs  on  toast.         Salt  and  pepper. 
Whole  wheat  cakes.         Maple  syrup. 


LUNCHEON. 

Apple  tea.  Graham  gems  and  butter. 

French  peas.  Russian  salad. 

Strawberries  and  cake. 

Milk. 
Nuts  and  olives. 


DINNER. 

Bean  soup.  Salad. 

Macaronied  tomatoes. 

Corn-bread. 

Fried  bananas.  Cauliflower. 

Crab-apple  jelly.  Nut-layer  cake. 

Basket  of  fruits. 
Quince  tea.  Kumyss. 


The  table  should  be  made  to  look  as  pretty  as  possi- 
ble, and  when  flowers  are  not  to  be  had,  a  massive  cluster 
of  golden  grain  may  be  tied  with  pale  green  or  yellow- 
satin  ribbon  about  two  inches  wide  and  put  in  a  trans- 


120 

parent  vase  or  celery  glass,  or  laid  on  a  fancy  wire  rack, 
or  on  a  rustic  or  scroll-sawed  rack  made  for  this  purpose. 
When  flowers  are  used  they  should  be,  as  regards  color, 
in  harmony  with  the  predominating  color  of  the  table 
and  the  light  of  the  room.  The  basket  of  fruit  may  be 
made  a  pretty  feature  by  its  being  fanciful  in  shape,  well 
filled  with  all  kinds  of  fruit  and  may  be  passed  around  by 
the  maid.  If  a  separate  course  is  made  of  the  fruit,  it 
may  be  brought  in  on  an  immense  platter  or  a  tray  and 
served  from  the  head  of  the  table,  each  one  being  in  turn 
asked  his  choice  of  fruit,  three  kinds  being  permissible. 

As  vegetarians  do  not  have  the  meals  of  two  days  in 
succession  alike,  it  is  not  necessary  to  have  so  great  a 
variety  at  one  meal ;  for  example,  the  meat-eaters  have 
meat,  potatoes,  coffee  and  fine  bread  at  least  once  a  day 
the  year  round.  As  for  myself  I  do  not  take  any  of  these 
four  items,  and  if  I  did  I  would  not  think  it  wise  to  use 
them  to  such  an  extent,  as  they  would  enter  too  largely 
into  the  construction  of  the  body.  I  am  a  vegetarian, 
but  am  one  who  feels  she  has  outgrown  the  need  of  going 
under  the  ground  for  her  food.  A  newspaper  man  who 
interviewed  me,  said,  "  How  do  you  keep  up  and  look 
so  well  ?  You  don't  eat  flesh,  fish,  or  fowl  ;  you  don't 
eat  roots,  nor  drink  tea  and  coffee."  He  did  not  realize 
that  I  had  anything  left  me  but  cabbage  and  apples,  until 
I  handed  him  a  list  of  foods  and  invited  him  to  take  a 
stroll  down  on  South  Water  street — the  greatest  market 
in  the  world — a  whole  street  given  up  to  foods.  He  was 
convinced  that  it  was  possible  to  be  a  vegetarian  and  live 
on  the  fat  of  the  land,  and  that,  too,  without  going  under 
the  ground. 

The  world  has  produced  only  one  artist  who  could 
put  any  kind  of  sentiment  into  potaio-digging,  and  even 
Millet  had  recourse  to  a  higher  sentiment  before  he 


Child's  Friend.  121 

could  invoke  the  muses  of  the  brush  to  transfer  the  scenes 
to  the  canvas,  with  anything  but  a  groveling  attitude. 
' '  The  Angelus ' '  does  not  hold  us  spell-bound  by  its 
artistic  potato-digging, 'tis  not  that  at  all.  It  is  the  devo- 
tional sentiment  that  creeps  over  us,  until  we  are  so  sat- 
urated that  we  forget  who  and  where  we  are.  But  I 
have  digressed.  Now  to  return  to  the  matter  of  variety. 
As  I  approve  of  a  great  variety  of  food,  but  not  all  to  be 
put  into  the  stomach  at  once,  I  have  only  a  small  variety 
at  a  meal  but  change  every  meal.  In  this  way  the  sys- 
tem gets  the  variety  without  taxing  the  stomach  with 
the  laborious  work  of  digesting  a  conglomerated  mixt- 
ure. 

DIGESTIVE   FLUIDS. 

Two-thirds  the  amount  of  food  we  usually  take  would 
produce  better  results  than  we  now  have  if  we  would 
select  such  as  contains  nutritive  properties,  and  then  mas- 
ticate it  well.  Remember  that  the  beneficial  results  of 
eating  depend  upon  assimilation,  and  assimilation  de- 
pends upon,— first  the  saliva  secreted  from  the  salivary 
glands  by  the  action  of  mastication  ;  second,  gastric  juice 
is  secreted  from  within  the  stomach  ;  then  third,  the  bile 
from  the  liver,  and  the  pancreatic  juice  from  the  pancreas 
combine  and  act  upon  the  food  after  it  leaves  the  stom- 
ach. The  bile  emulsifies  the  fat  and  the  pancreatic  juice 
is  alkaline  and  acts  upon  the  starchy  food. 

*** 

The  bulk  of  the  civilized  world  seems  to  be  living  to 
eat,  instead  of  simply  eating  to  live  and  improve  the 
bodily  instrument,  through  which  real  life  expresses 
itself. 


122  Mother's  Help  and 

GOOD  CHEER,  NOT  MEAL  MAKES  THE  FEAST. 

The  leading  medical  men  and  women  say  we  must 
above  all  put  away  care,  anxiety,  and  disagreeable 
thought  during  meals,  and  give  ourselves  over  to  the 
enjoyment  of  our  food  ;  that  this  will  aid  digestion  and 
assimilation,  and  help  to  furnish  vitality. 

Now  if  this  peaceful  enjoinder  is  essential  in  the  case 
of  adults,  is  it  not  much  more  so  in  childhood  when  the 
functions  of  the  digestive  organs  are  yet  scarcely  estab- 
lished ?  And  still  we  all  know  it  a  common  every-day 
matter  to  see  a  child  compelled  to  take  its  food  between 
slaps  and  tears.  To  say  that  this  is  UNHYGIENIC  and 
CRUEL,  is  putting  it  mildly.  And  I  am  amazed — not  at 
the  many  who  die — at  the  number  that  survive.  I  will 
not  say  live,  for  it  is  scarcely  living  to  come  into  this  life- 
form  only  half  put  together  and  then  subjected  to  treat- 
ment which  we  grown  people  would  resent,  as  not  only 
discourteous,  but  brutal.  Have  these  little  darlings  no 
rights  that  we  need  respect  ? 


Child's  Friend. 


123 


Stimulants. 

EA,  Coffee,  Alcohol  and  Tobacco — 
these  act  as  brakes  ;  they  preserve  in 
the  body  the  old  worn  out  particles. 
And  when  you  cease  to  break  down 
and  carry  off  old  tissue  or  bodily  ma- 
terial, you  clog  the  system  and  cease 
to  build  up  new,  z.  e.,  according  to  the  old 
saying  you  do  not  change  your  body  in 
every  seven  years.  A  fat  body  is  the  result 
of  an  accumulation  of  waste  matter  and  tissue  that 
should  have  been  eliminated  from  the  system.  Fat  is  not 
normal.  Nor  is  a  wrinkled  body  normal,  here  the  tissues 
may  have  been  dried  or  puckered  up  by  these  stimulants, 
and  the  eliminating  and  supplying  channels  impaired 
and  obstructed.* 

You  will  agree  with  me  that  in  aiming  for  complete 
and  perfect  offspring,  we  must  educate  ourselves  up  to  a 
high  standard  of  excellence  physically  as  well  as  men- 
tally and  morally.  Again,  you  will  agree  with  me  that 
in  dealing  with  the  vegetable  and  lower  animal  kingdoms, 
we  exercise  great  care  to  select  the  healthiest,  most  sym- 
metrical, and  in  every  way  most  desirable  as  seed,  as 
reproducers  ;  and  our  painstaking  does  not  here  end,  we 
are  ever  watchful  that  the  environments  be  the  very  best 
we  can  provide.  And  now  in  the  name  of  common  sense 
and  decency,  why  not  give  our  offspring  an  equal  chance 


See  this  author's  book  on  "  Food  and  its  Relations  to  Beauty." 


124  Mother's  Help  and 

with  our  vegetable  and  lower  animal  ?  Will  it  not 
"  pay  " ?  It  is  conceded  by  all  that  it  "pays  "  to  exer- 
cise much  forethought  and  outlay  much  skill  in  the 
cultivation  of  these  lower  tenants  of  the  earth ;  for  the 
benefits  by  the  painstaking  is  too  evident  to  be  ques- 
tioned. It  enhances  their  value  to  us  in  a  financial 
sense — "Aye,  there  is  the  rub  !"  Selfishness  or  finan- 
cial gain  is  the  incentive  for  our  toil,  and  by  it  are  we 
stimulated,  each  one  ambitious  chiefly  to  achieve  a 
financial  standard  that  shall  surprise  or  awe  our  friends  ; 
or  to  own  a  pet  plant  or  animal  so  highly  organized  as  to 
make  the  neighbors  green  with  envy  ;  until  it  has  become 
an  old  story.  And,  for  a  change,  what  could  be  the 
objection  to  enhancing  the  value  of  the  human  race? 
Wherever  there  have  been  human  slaves,  the  increased 
money  value  as  the  result  of  such  a  course  of  cultivation 
has  inspired  nearly  the  same  interest  as  has  been  received 
by  the  lower  animal  and  vegetable  at  the  hands  of  man. 
Man's  greatest  crime  at  the  present  time  is  CRUELTY 
TO  POSTERITY  AND  TO  WOMAN. 

Somehow,  man  has  the  idea  that  he  owes  nothing  to 
posterity  ;  which  is  a  direct  contradiction  to  the  scientific 
wisdom  he  so  generously  lavishes  upon  the  lower  organ- 
ized life-forms,  where  his  sole  work  is  to  advance  the 
interests  of  posterity,  all  he  can  do  to  advance  the  inter- 
ests of  the  prospective  crop  he  does  without  a  murmur ; 
in  truth,  his  heart  is  joyful  in  anticipation.  But  what 
can  be  the  objection  to  enhancing  the  worth  of  the 
human  race,  by  way  of  varying  the  monotony  ?  I  say  it 
will  ' '  pay, ' '  in  the  balancing  up  of  universal  accounts, 
to  be  found  casting  our  energies  in  the  progressive  side 
of  the  scale,  rather  than  with  those  on  the  side  retarding 
Nature's  evolving  force. 

PATENT   MEDICINES  figure  most  conspicuously 


Child's  Friend.  125 

of  all  the  causes  of  habitual  drunkenness  ;  nor  does  the 
pernicious  nostrum  stop  its  venomous  work  here ;  for  do 
not  innumerable  cases  of  opium  habit,  arsenic,  morphine, 
tobacco  and  such,  stare  us  in  the  face  daily  ?  Add  to 
these,  which  play  destruction  on  morals,  coffee  and  tea, 
attired  a  little  less  decollete  to  be  sure,  and  therefore 
given  audience  by  society  too  circumspect  to  countenance 
the  other  ;  but  nevertheless  they  are  venomous  breeders 
of  restlessness  and  discontent  that  daily  make  MOTH- 
ERHOOD AND  MARRIAGE  A  FAILURE. 

Of  the  obnoxious  effects  of  alcoholic  drinks,  tea,  coffee, 
and  tobacco,  you  can  best  judge  by  leaving  them  off  for 
a  month  and  you  will  have  your  eyes  opened  and  agree 
with  me  that  they  are  good  fertilizers  with  which  to 
grow  disease  and  immorality  in  their  various  forms  and 
stages.  Tea  and  coffee  have  a  far  more  baneful  effect  on 
woman  than  is  generally  supposed  by  a  casual  observer. 
If  the  husband  is  not  made  to  suffer,  by  the  woman's 
nervous,  excitable,  irritable,  fault-finding  state  of  mind 
and  conduct,  the  little  darlings  are. 

If  you  could  see  the  condition  of  some  of  the  tea 
pickers  and  the  process  through  which  this  curled  leaf 
goes  before  it  gets  to  you,  you'd  turn  from  it  in  disgust, 
— and  yet  it  does  seem  upon  reflection,  as  I  bethink  me, 
that  mankind  often  does  not  like  a  food  or  drink  until  it 
has  been  nastified  in  some  way.  Dear  Mothers,  for  sake 
of  the  child's  present  and  everlasting  good,  let  me  be- 
seech of  you  to  avoid  these  drinks  as  you  would  poison 
labeled  with  cross-bones  and  skull.  Not  only  do  they 
slowly  poison,  but  they  stimulate  and  generate  a  high 
pressure  of  activity  that  is  unnatural  and  there  must  be  a 
reaction  which  will  appear  in  the  garb  of  premature 
death  ;  or  if  the  child  possesses  adaptability  it  may  live 


126  Mother's  Help  and 

on  nervously,  or  even  with  apparently  good  health  ;  but 
will  surely  be  cut  short  of  old  age. 

The  Pall  Mall  Gazette  states  that  a  woman  living  in 
Russia,  always  a  strict  teetotaler,  recently  celebrated  her 
one  hundred  and  fortieth  birthday.  Those  who  desire 
long  life  should  emulate  her  abstemious  example 

The  cranky,  fault-finding,  wrinkled  and  nervous  old 
people  we  meet  every  day  of  our  lives,  should  be  a  po- 
tent example  to  parents  who  are  solicitous  for  the  welfare 
of  their  children.  At  the  final  day  our  children  will  be 
asked,  you  were  given  an  amount  of  life  force, — what 
have  you  done  with  it?  Shall  they  have  to  say  that 
they  wasted  most  of  it  in  irritability  ?  Are  we  desirous 
of  standing  responsible  for  such  an  answer  ? 

Persons  who  use  the^e  debasing  articles  are  placing 
evil  environments  about  the  coming  generation  ;  for,  out 
of  intemperance  and  discontent  in  parents  grow  a  multi- 
tude of  sins  that  are  registered  on  the  incoming  genera- 
tion, and  they  again  transmit  them  to  their  posterity. 
Evidence  adduced  from  every-day  experience  goes  to 
show  that  we  must  have  recourse  to  purer  environment 
before  we  can  hope  to  place  humanity  in  the  ascendency ; 
and  this  can  only  be  accomplished  by  a  vigorous  enforce- 
ment of  temperance  ;  and  the  shortest  road  thereto  is  the 
smiling  path  of  a  vegetarian  diet.  With  the  use  of  ani- 
mal food  (fish,  fowl,  and  flesh,)  comes  a  savage  craving 
for  intemperate  or  stimulant  drinks  and  narcotics.  The 
shortest  and  smoothest  road  to  temperance  in  these,  as 
also  in  sexual  intemperance,  is  to  leave  off  eating  meat. 
Let  us  do  the  best  we  can  for  the  children  that  have 
already  come,  and  arrange  everything  in  good  order  for 
those  that  shall  come.  Begin  by  preparing  the  fathers 
and  mothers  while  they  are  yet  children,  especially  the 
mother,  as  she  is  the  child's  closest  environment.  Let 


Child's  Friend.  127 

her  be  temperate  in  all  things,  and  she  will  be  sweet  tem- 
pered and  orderly.  She  will  have  love  in  her  heart  and 
forethought  for  the  duties  that  accompany  the  marriage. 
She  should  try  to  have  the  co-operation  of  the  husband , 
for  he,  too,  should  be  pure  and  have  noble  aspirations. 

It  is  a  great  error  that  on  the  first  symptoms  of  any 
disease,  "  medicine  is  resorted  to  for  its  expulsion,  while 
the  cause  is  left  to  operate  undisturbed."  Any  mother 
or  nurse' who  makes  frequent  recourse  to  medicine  is  unfit 
to  have  care  of  children. 

Frequently  when  the  child  cries,  as  with  a  colic,  place 
it  on  its  stomach — on  the  bed  or  your  lap — heat  a  piece 
of  flannel  or  the  palm  of  your  hand  quite  warm  and  place 
it  on  its  bowels  next  to  skin.  Hot  applications  will 
usually  effect  a  speedy  relief  for  all  such  annoyances, 
especially  if  turned  on  the  bowels,  and  with  the  head 
lower  than  the  thighs ;  this  answers  as  well  for  older 
ones,  who  may  drink  a  quantity  of  hot  water  as  a  sup- 
plement. 

UNDER  NO  CONDITION  GIVE  THE  BABE 
SOOTHING  SYRUPS,  THEY  ARE  INJURIOUS 
TO  THE  BRAIN.  They  also— with  other  patent  medi- 
cines -  create  a  desire  for  liquor. 


128 


Mother's  Help  and 


Strength 

XPERIENCE  teaches  that  a  healthy 
growing  boy  may  spend  six  hours  of 
force  daily  on  his  studies,  and  leave 
sufficient  margin  for  physical  growth. 
A  girl  can  not  spend  more  than  four, 
or,  in  occasional  instances  five  hours 
of  daily  force  in  study,  and  leave 
sufficient  margin  for  general  physical 
growth  that  she  must  make  in  com- 
mon with  the  boy,  and  also  for  her 
own  development." 
To  grow  and  develop  rapidly,  during  the  period  from 
twelve  to  twenty  years  of  age,  is  the  nature  of  the  girl. 
But  the  vital  energies  pertaining  to  the  body,  and  gener- 
ated in  the  organism,  by  which  this  growth  and  develop- 
ment are  effected,  are  absolutely  limited,  says  Dr.  O.  B. 
Moss  (So  it  is  with  the  restrictions  we  put  upon  her. ) 
Nor  can  the  same  forces  be  employed  at  the  same  time 
for  two  distinct  ends.  If  only  growth  of  body  is  sought, 
we  shall  have  deficient  mental  development ;  if  only 
development  of  the  mind  is  provided  for,  the  result  is  a 
defective  body.  There  is  no  escape  from  these  laws. 

Nature  responds  to  the  demands  made  upon  her  to, 
the  best  of  her  possibilities,  even  though  she  thereby 
dwarfs  her  noblest  organs  and  disregards  her  highest 
functions.  And,  moreover,  it  is  only  when  an  equal  dis- 
tribution of  the  vital  energies  is  made  that  we  see  the 
highest  results — perfect  womanhood.  Nature's  inexora- 
ble law  of  compensation  diminishes  her  working  forces  to- 
morrow if  overdrawn  to-day ;  and  at  no  time  of  life  does 


Child's  Friend.  129 

this  manifest  itself  so  unmistakably  as  during  the  girl's 
developing  years,  from  twelve  to  twenty. 

A  great  deal  is  said  against  the  present  method  of 
school  education,  and  not  without  good  cause — especially 
are  the  moral,  manual,  and  sanitary  branches  neglected 
for  nonsensical  studies  that  only  waste  the  energy.  But 
is  it  not  more  true  that  the  lack  of  reserve  force  is  due 
more  to  neglect  at  home  than  overwork  at  school  ? 
Mothers  look  into  this.  I  have  given  this  subject  much 
thought  and  investigation,  and  find  that  the  girls,  after 
sleeping  in  well-ventilated  rooms,  with  five  to  ten  min- 
utes given  up  to  calisthenics  and  deep  breathing  before 
an  open  window  in  a  loose  gown  before  breakfast,  a  good 
wholesome  diet  of  plenty  of  whole  oat  and  wheat  food 
(no  meat,  as  that  develops  too  rapidly  certain  parts  of 
the  organism  that  can  to  advantage  be  left  till  after  school 
days),  vegetables,  fruits,  and  nuts;  milk,  fruit  and 
berry  drinks  (no  tea  and  coffee),  acquire  more  strength 
and  jolly  good  nature  thereby,  than  could  possibly  be 
gained  by  any  amount  of  school  reform.  Mothers,  try  it 
on  your  girls.  Girls,  try  it  for  yourselves  a  month,  which 
will  mean  a  permanent  adoption  of  it.  And  you  will  be 
glad  to  have  made  the  acquaintance  of  the  MOTHER'S 
HELP  AND  CHILD'S  FRIEND. 

We  remember  Prof.  Huxley  estimates  endurance  as 
one  of  the  highest  attainments.  Physical  endurance, 
remember,  not  short  spurts  of  strength,  but  endurance. 
How  are  we  to  acquire  and  attain  this  ?  Not  by  meat 
diet,  for  that  only  irritates  and  stimulates  to  immediate 
action  and  leaves  exhausted  vitality. 

Investigation  and  experience  show  that  more  strength 
of  body,  muscle,  nerve,  and  brain  can  be  gotten  from 
what  is  called  a  vegetarian  diet  than  from  meat.  The 
natural  food  for  mankind  is  that  which  is  free  from  dis- 


130 


Mo  therms  Help  and 


ease  and  clean  ,  that  which  is  pleasing  to  the  unperverted 
eye.  This  food  harmonizes  with  the  internal  machinery 
of  man.  In  partaking  of  it  there  is  no  death-shock 
vibrating  through  the  system,  no  disturbing  elements. 
Vegetarian  food  being  the  natural  diet  of  the  human 
being,  it  is  at  once  appropriated,  and  on  this  the  circula- 
tory system  keeps  steadily  at  work  building  blood,  bone, 
and  muscular  tissue.  There  are  no  fluctuating  disturb- 
ances as  when  flesh  food  is  taken,  and  therefore  the  growth 
is  steady,  and  reliable,  and  the  strength  will  be  enduring. 
The  muscles  and  animal  tissues  generally  are  com- 
posed of  oxygen,  hydrogen,  carbon  and  nitrogen.  To 
supply  their  growth  and  waste,  therefore,  substances 
containing  all  these  elements  are  required.  Starch, 
sugar  and  fat  can  not  nourish  the  muscles,  they  are 
deficient  in  the  important  element  Nitrogen.  It  is  a 
remarkable  fact  that  all  these  principles,  wherever  found, 
and  whether  of  animal  or  vegetable  nature,  are  almost 
identical  in  their  ultimate  chemical  composition.  Thus 
the  gluten  of  wheat,  the  legumin  of  peas,  the  fibrine  of 
muscles,  the  casein  of  milk,  and  the  albumen  of  eggs 
contain  very  nearly  the  same  proportions  of  oxygen, 
hydrogen,  carbon,  and  nitrogen. 


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Animal  Fibrine  contains  

52.5 

7.00 

16.5 

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Albumen  (white  of  egg)  contains  .    . 

53-23 

7.01 

16  41 

23-35 

Vegetable  Albumen  contains  .... 

53-14 

7.11 

15-65 

25-50 

Casein  of  cow's  milk         "            ... 
Vegetable  Casein               "             ... 

53-50 
53-46 

7-05 
7-13 

15-77 
16.04 

23.08 
23-37 

Albumen  ~\ 

Gluten      >-  For  repairing  muscular  waste. 

Fibrine      I 


Child's  Friend. 


Water,  &tr,  gmnsf)ine. 

-ATER  enters  so  largely  and  im- 
portantly into  the  composition  of 
the  body  as  to  merit  more  con- 
sideration than  is  our  wont  usu- 
ally to  give  it.  I  can  most  con- 
cisely express  myself  by  quoting 
M.  S.  Holbrook,  M.  D.:  "  Water 
is  a  liquid  food.  It  contains  a  part  of 
every  tissue,  in  a  free,  loose  state,  and 
a  part  of  it  in  a  very  intimate  union 
with  the  tissues,  so  that  it  can  not  be  driven  off  by 
evaporation.  When  water  is  taken  into  the  system  it 
assists  in  building  up  the  organs  and  repairing  them 
when  worn  out."  * 

WATER  IS  THE  NATURAL  BEVERAGE  OF 
MAN.  About  eighty-seven  per  cent  of  our  body  is 
water.  It  wastes  with  every  breath  and  motion,  and 
this  waste  must  be  restored  by  a  fresh  supply.  It 
softens  and  holds  in  solution  the  solid  parts  of 
our  food  so  that  it  will  flow  into  the  veins  and  arteries. 
It  maintains  a  proper  bulk  to  both  blood  and  tissues, 
rendering  them  mobile  and  soft  instead  of  hard  and  dry. 
It  holds  in  solution  the  waste  matter  of  the  body,  and 
transports  it  out  of  the  system. 

It  takes  up  the  waste  heat  of  the  body  and  carries  it 
away.  It  slacks  our  thirst,  and  cools  the  blood  in  warm 
weather. 


132  Mother* s  Help  and 

It  may  be  the  vehicle,  taken  hot,  of  carrying  heat 
into  the  circulation  after  exposure  to  cold  and  damp. 

AMOUNT  OF  WATER  REQUIRED  FOR  MAN  AND  WOMAN. 

An  adult  'requires  daily  from  three  to  six  pints  of 
water  for  nutrition.  Not  far  from  one-third  of  this  is 
contained  in  our  food,  and  if  much  food  is  used,  the 
amount  required  for  drink  is  less.  Women  drink  less 
than  men,  and  children  more  in  proportion  to  their  bulk. 
During  hot  weather  and  when  the  exercise  is  very  severe 
an  additional  supply  is  required." 

WORTH  REMEMBERING. 

A  drink  of  water  for  baby.  And  how  seldom  the 
mother  and  nurse  think  of  it.  It  would  indeed  be  diffi- 
cult to  estimate  the  amount  of  suffering  imposed  on 
babies  through  neglect  of  giving  them  water  when  they 
are  thirsty.  Milk  is  to  them  as  food  is  to  us,  so  they 
need  water  when  they  are  thirsty. 

Whenever  anything  ails  you  invoke  the  aid  of  water. 
When  taken  in  large  quantity  it  flushes  the  system  and 
frees  it  of  waste  matter  and  poison.  When  taken  hot  it 
will  give  speedy  relief  to  colic  and  most  other  disorders 
of  the  stomach  and  bowels,  and  indeed  of  adjacent  and 
remote  parts  of  the  body.  Flannel  cloths  wrung  out  of 
hot  water  and  applied  to  the  surface  will  scatter  and 
absorb  most  any  physical  affliction. 

When  an  insufficiency  of  water  is  taken,  a  person  is 
more  apt  to  get  wrinkled,  because  the  tissues  are  not  held 
in  a  free,  loose  state.  If  old  people  would  depend  upon 
water,  instead  of  tea  and  coffee  for  drink,  they  would 
not  be  so  dried  up  and  wrinkled.  Pure  rain  water  or  dis- 
tilled water  is  better  to  drink  and  wash  hands  and  face 


Child's  Friend.  133 

with  than  hard  water,  such  as  contain  organic  matter, 
or  as  contains  inorganic  salts. 

Sandstone  districts  are  usually  co-existent  with  soft 
water  ;  and  limestone  with  hard  water. 

A  half  cupful  of  oat-meal  may  be  put  into  the  wash- 
pitcher  of  water  for  softening  it,  when  no  other  means 
are  available. 

BATHING. 

An  infant  should  be  washed  with  warm  water  and  a 
sponge,  no  soap  unless  it  is  for  cleansing  the  scalp.  A 
perfectly  clean  sponge  and  clean  water  must  be  used  for 
the  eyes,  if  not  careful  inflammation  and  even  blindness 
may  ensue. 

Have  the  room  warm  and  not  light.  Do  not  let  any 
rays  of  light  reach  the  eyes  of  the  infant. 

Use  a  thermometer,  so  as  to  be  sure  that  the  tempera- 
ture of  the  bath  is  98  °  .  Rub,  after  the  bath,  with  the 
hand.  Under  no  consideration  should  the  mother  allow 
the  child's  daily  bath  to  be  neglected.  The  scalp  and 
body  will  become  diseased  if  not  washed  every  day.  An 
all-over  sponge  bath  is  healthy ;  yes,  necessary  for  adults 
and  children  alike.  No  fear  of  a  cold  need  be  enter- 
tained if  the  bath  be  habitual  and  the  skin  well  dried  by 
brisk  rubbing.  Do  not  allow  the  child  to  be  exposed  to 
the  air  while  wet ;  raise  its  head  and  trunk  up  in  the 
tub,  and  dry  quickly  before  exposing  the  abdomen  and 
legs  above  the  water  ;  for  if  the  body  be  exposed  to  the 
air  while  wet,  even  if  the  room  is  warm,  it  is  apt  to  take 
a  cold.  For  children  that  are  old  enough,  a  brisk  rub- 
bing with  the  towel  will  create  a  healthy  circulation,  after 
which  oil  can  be  applied  if  one  likes. 

White  castile  soap  is  best  for  the  bath  when  you  can 
not  get  gluten  soap. 


134  Mother's  Help  and 

Only  bilious  and  thick-skinned  persons  should  use  a 
flesh  brush.  The  bath  mitten  is  usually  most  desirable 
after  childhood  is  passed. 

It  is  well  to  teach  the  child  to  enjoy  its  bath.  The 
baby  at  the  White  House  (President  Harrison's  grand- 
baby)  is  said  to  anticipate  its  daily  bath  with  great 
pleasure,  as  a  sort  of  a  water  frolic,  and  what  is  prettier 
than  children  frolicking  in  the  water  ? 

The  bath,  like  everything  else,  does  more  good  if 
made  enjoyable.  The  daily  bath  is  necessary  in  that  res- 
piration goes  on  through  the  skin,  as  well  as  the  lungs. 
And  if  the  waxy  emanation  is  allowed  to  clog  the  pores, 
a  very  important  respiratory  avenue  is  closed.  When 
we  take  into  consideration  the  fact  that  the  skin  alone 
acts  as  a  fourfold  agent,  viz. :  Protective,  vascular,  ex- 
cretory, and  nervous,  we  readily  see  the  importance  of 
keeping  it  in  a  healthy  condition.  And  when  placed  in 
a  proper  active  condition,  the  mind  is  clear  and  the  duties 
of  the  day  can  be  pursued  with  a  greater  degree  of  ease. 

AIR. 

The  fact  of  our  lungs  being  located  in  so  important 
a  part  of  the  vital  system,  and  protected  too,  by  the  most 
beautiful  and  complex  part  of  the  osseous  system,  shows 
our  imperative  need  of  them.  And  the  fact  of  their  con- 
taining 600,000,000  air  cells,  proves  conclusively  that 
we  constantly  need  a  large  quantity  of  air  to  sustain  life 
and  nourish  us.  Every  breath  we  inhale  should  bring 
that  life-giving,  blood-purifying  element,  oxygen.  And 
that  every  adult  requires  daily  about  360  cubic  feet  of 
fresh  air,  which  would  be  equal  to  about  2,000  gallons  a 
day,  or  in  pounds  about  25.  That  we  require  in  weight, 
three  times  as  much  air  as  of  food  and  drink  combined. 


Child's  Friend.  135 

A  PERSON  MAY  LIVE  A  LONG  TIME  WITH- 
OUT FOOD  IF  HE  KNOWS  HOW  TO  BREATHE 
RIGHT  ;  but  AIR  WE  MUST  HAVE.  And  if  we 
will  be  normal — plenty  of  it. 

Although  life  may  not  be  destroyed  suddenly  by 
breathing  an  impure  atmosphere,  yet  the  vital  energies 
are  thereby  slowly  but  surely  impaired.  Especially  true 
is  this  with  growing  children  and  feeble  persons. 

AIR   SPOILED    BY    BREATHING. 

' '  In  the  process  of  breathing,  the  air  loses  about  a 
third  part  of  its  oxygen — the  life-giving  principle — and 
receives  in  exchange  carbonic  acid  gas,  a  gas  that  is  not 
only  incapable  of  supporting  life,  but  actually  destructive 
to  it.  Such  is  the  change  effected  by  the  act  of  breath- 
ing. And  if  this  process  goes  on  in  an  ill- ventilated 
room,  where  several  persons  are  gathered,  the  carbonic 
acid  gas  accumulates,  usurps  the  place  of  the  oxygen 
consumed,  and  so  renders  the  air  unfit  for  the  renewal  of 
life.  All  the  functions  of  the  body  are  tardily  and  im- 
perfectly performed,  the  muscular  tissues  are  enfeebled, 
the  breathing  becomes  oppressed,  the  head  aches,  and  in 
extreme  cases,  life  is  extinguished  amidst  suffering  of  the 
most  distressing  nature."  Apertures  near  the  ceiling  in 
every  house  and  every  room,  should  be  provided  for  the 
escape  of  carbonic  acid  gas  and  effluvia.* 

AIRY  SLEEPING  ROOMS. 

If  proper  means  of  ventilation  was  neglected  in  tne 
construction  of  your  houses,  lose  no  time  now  in  making 


•The  Auditorium  at  Chicago,  which  is  probably  the  best  ventilated  struct- 
ure on  the  globe,  is  provided  with  machines  for  aerifying  the  effluvia.  This 
process  is  effectual  in  freeing  the  air  of  some  250  pounds  of  impurities  daily. 
The  air  in  all  schools  and  public  buildings  should  be  subject  to  this  nealtby 
treatment 


136  Mother's  Help  and 

provision  for  the  uninterrupted  removal  of  bad  air.  Es- 
pecially the  bedrooms  which  are  usually  so  badly 
arranged,  or  small  and  "  cluttered  up"  that  long  before 
morning  dawns,  "  the  whole  apartment  becomes  highly 
injurious  from  the  consumption  of  its  oxygen,  the  for- 
mation of  carbonic  acid  gas,  and  the  exhalations  from  the 
lungs  and  relaxed  skin.  In  an  atmosphere  thus  loaded 
with  effluvia,  the  sleep  is  heavy  and  unrefreshing,  par- 
taking more  of  the  character  of  insensibility." 

There  are  some  diseases  in  which  the  cause  of  death 
is  simply  an  accumulation  of  carbonic  acid  gas  in  the 
blood,  which  poisons  slowly  but  surely  the  system,  pro- 
ducing commonly  at  first  headache;  after  which  spring 
up  various  other  ailments. 

You  will  find  that  if  you  sleep  with  3rour  face  under 
cover,  or  face  toward  another  person,  or  toward  the  wall, 
you  will  get  up  with  a  headache.  This  is  because  the 
same  spoiled  air  you  expel  from  your  lungs,  you  a*  once 
receive  again  and  the  carbonic  acid  gas  it  contains  enters 
the  circulation  and  poisons  the  system,  and  a  headache 
and  bitter  mouth  are  the  first  symptoms. 

Gas,  or  any  other  light  (save  perhaps  electric  bulbs, 
and  I  do  not  know  that  they  are  an  exception)  in  a  room 
will  so  rapidly  consume  the  health-sustaining  properties 
as  to  appall  one  who  understands  the  processes.  This 
action  of  burning  light  and  the  consumption  of  oxygen 
by  the  lungs,  we  see,  makes  it  absolutely  necessary  that 
an  outlet  for  spoiled  air  be  provided  and  an  uninterrupted 
current  of  fresh  air  be  admitted.  Kerosene  lamps  which 
exhale  that  familiar  odor,  are  as  frequently  the  source  of 
croup  and  diphtheria  as  other  agents.  This  air-deteriorat- 
ing, health-destroying  light  question,  in  my  mind,  deter- 
mines the  importance  of  reserving  bedrooms  for  sleeping 
rooms  only. 


Child's  Friend.  137 

Some  writers  say  ' '  the  body  is  a  smoking  mass  of  cor- 
ruption," which  is  often  true,  though  I  think  not  quite 
so  bad  as  that  usually.  The  shadow  we  see  on  a  wall  in 
a  strong  sunlight,  is  the  shadow  of  a  vapor  we  exhale, 
which  is  always  charged  with  impurity  in  a  greater  or 
lesser  degree,  depending  upon  the  cleanliness  of  the  per- 
son, internally  and  externally.  If  the  alimentary  canal 
performs  its  functions  with  natural  regularity,  then  the 
other  excretory  organs  will  not  be  so  heavily  taxed,  nor 
the  effluvia  be  so  dense  and  poisonous  to  ourselves  and 
others  who  have  to  inhale  it,  making  the  lungs  use  over 
again  this  vitiated  air. 

' '  In  certain  states  of  body  and  weather  the  exhalations 
by  the  skin  alone  exceeds  in  weight  the  whole  amount 
thrown  out  by  the  bowels  and  kidneys  together — a  fact 
which  may  convey  some  notion  of  importance  to  health. 
In  the  ordinary  state  the  exhalation  is  invisible,  and  is 
thence  named  insensible  perspiration.  During  active 
exercise  or  in  hot  weather,  it  appears  in  the  form  of 
sweat  or  perspiration.  The  lungs  constitute  another  im- 
portant channel  of  excretion.  In  humid  still  weather 
perspiration  and  pulmonary  exhalation  go  on  very  imper- 
fectly ;  and  when  the  air  is  very  hot  and  dry,  these  pro- 
cesses go  on  too  fast,  producing  feverish  irritability  and 
thirst,  which,  if  continued  for  some  time,  are  sure  to  be 
succeeded  by  disease.  On  every  account,  then,  constant 
attention  should  be  given  to  the  temperature,  the  moist- 
ure, and  the  purity  of  the  air  by  which  the  young  are 
surrounded.  .  For  example,  if  we  allow  perspiration  to 
be  checked  by  exposure  to  cold  and  moist  air,  an  effort 
will  be  made  by  some  of  the  other  excretory  organs  to 
get  rid  of  the  hurtful  particles  retained  in  the  blood,  and 
which  ought  to  have  been  thrown  out  by  the  skin  ;  but 
even  when  the  effort  proves  successful,  it  is  always  at  the 


138  Mother* s  Help  and 

risk  of  the  over-activity  thus  induced  terminating  the 
disease.  Hence  the  necessity  of  avoiding  every  cause 
likely  to  disturb  the  natural  balance  between  the  differ- 
ent excreting  organs,  and  to  throw  the  labor  of  one 
upon  another  which  is  not  intended  for  it."* 

The  Chinese  attach  so  much  importance  to  skin  respi- 
ration, that  they  have  no  collar  on  their  garments,  and 
have  their  clothing  so  loose  that  ventilation  may  go  on 
undisturbed. 

For  experiment  put  on  a  rubber  rain  coat,  fasten  it  up 
tight  all  about  you — especially  at  the  neck,  sit  down  in  a 
close  room  a  while  and  you  will  soon  feel  stuffy  and  a  suf- 
focating sensation,  although  your  head  is  out.  This  goes 
to  prove  that  you  respire  through  the  pores  of  the  skin, 
which  the  waterproof  in  a  degree  prevents  because  it  is 
air-tight.  For  this  same  reason  I  am  decidedly  opposed 
to  quilts  and  comforters  on  the  bed  at  night  they  are 
nearly  air-tight,  while  blankets  admit  of  ventilation.  I 
have  the  same  fault  to  find  with  starched  shirt  fronts,  to 
corsets  and  corset  covers  and  to  starch  in  children's 
clothing,  f 

SUNSHINE. 

Old  and  young  should  go  out  into  the  sunshine  every 
day.  And  children  afflicted  with  scrofula  should  spend 
several  hours  in  the  early  morning  sun,  as  it  is  better, 
more  strengthening,  than  the  afternoon  sun. 

I  have  observed  in  my  travels  about  the  world  .nat 
people  exposed  most  to  the  air  and  moderate  rays  of  the 
sun  are  healthy,  such  as  live  in  rudely  constructed  houses 
seen  on  the  frontiers  ;  while  those  abiding  in  cellars  and 
deep  narrow  valleys,  as  do  they  of  the  Alps  and  in  parts 
of  Siberia,  where  the  mountains,  towering  high  above, 

'Management  of  Infancy  by  Dr.  Comb. 
tSee  Chapter  on  Clothing. 


Child's  Friend.  139 

exclude  the  rays  of  the  sun,  are  afflicted  with  goiter  and 
idiocy  to  an  extent  that  makes  me  wish  for  a  plethoric 
purse  with  which  to  rescue  them  from  this  dreadful  slav- 
ery and  place  them  in  a  wholesome  atmosphere,  which  I 
am  convinced  effects  a  cure,  by  a  case  coming  under  my 
observation.  A  member  of  a  family  that  had  for  genera- 
tions been  afflicted  with  goiter 'removed  to  a  new  country 
and  engaged  in  out-of-door  pursuits.  He  is  now  the 
grandfather  of  many  happy,  healthy  children.  Idiocy  is 
in  the  same  way  wiped  out  of  families  who  discover  the 
Heavenly  Father's  great  remedies,  WATER,  FRESH 
AIR,  and  SUNSHINE. 

Light  and  air  favor  nutrition.  Scrofula,  idiocy, 
goiter,  rickets,  consumption  and  general  ugliness  are 
among  the  characteristics  of  the  children  of  people 
who  disregard  the  value  of  sunshine,  air  and  water. 

*** 

MORAL   SUNSHINE. 

We  all  know  there  is  such  a  thing,  too,  as  moral  sun- 
shine, and  that  domestic  happiness  depends  for  its  very 
existence  upon  its  powerful  influence.  The  moment  we 
enter  a  sunny  household  we  feel  its  genial  warmth. 
Husband  and  wife  pull  together.  The  children  like 
their  lives,  and  every  one  in  the  household  feels  their 
happiness.  So  says  "  Manners  Makyth  the  Man." 


140 


Mother's  Help  and 


fftotijer  antr  13abe. 

MONO  the  things  that  require  at- 
tention during  pregnancy  may  be 
mentioned  breathing  pure  air ; 
sleeping  in  a  well-aired  room  on  a 
bed  not  so  soft  as  to  induce  relaxa- 
tion ;  regular  daily  exercise  in  the 
open  air ;  great  attention  to  per- 
sonal cleanliness,  to  dress,  diet,  and  all 
ordinary  conditions  of  health,  are  her 
paramount  duties. 
Oftentime  the  woman  who  will  not  deny  herself  the 
gratification  of  a  single  desire  or  appetite  on  her  own  ac- 
count, would  be  the  first  and  firmest  in  resisting  tempta- 
tion, if  her  reason  were  fully  convinced  that  every 
transgression  of  the  law  of  health  deteriorates  the  quality 
of  her  blood,  and  diminishes  the  chances  of  health  in  her 
child. 

Always  begin  the  day  by  taking  a  breathing  exercise 
before  rising.  Keep  the  chest  well  up  all  the  time,  so 
that  you  have  the  feeling  of  its  being  in  an  active  state 
rather  than  passive.  This  induces  the  lungs  to  furnish 
the  blood  that  tonic  quality  which  is  of  inestimable  value 
to  the  young  life  within. 

A  soft  flannel  bandage  should  be  provided  for  the 
infant's  warmth,  and  to  prevent  the  bowels  from  protrud- 
ing at  the  navel  when  crying  or  other  effort. 


Child's  Friend.  141 

The  infant  should  be  put  to  the  breast  eight  or  nine 
hours  after  birth. 

When  several  hours  after  birth  have  elapsed  with- 
out any  action  of  the  bowels,  a  few  teaspooufuls  of 
tepid  water  and  sugar  or  a  very  little  castor  oil  may  be 
given  it. 

When  from  the  state  of  the  mother  it  becomes  neces- 
sary to  supply  other  food  to  the  new-born  infant  we 
should  adhere  as  closely  as  possible  to  Nature,  and  give 
that  kind  of  nutriment  which  most  nearly  resembles  the 
mother's  milk.  It  is  surprising  how  readily  the  infant 
accommodotes  itself  to  the  adoption  of  regular  intervals 
of  feeding.  Establish  this  regularity  at  once  ami  you 
will  avoid  much  discomfort. 

The  infant  may  at  first  be  fed  at  intervals  of  two 
hours  ;  and  may  be  fed  three  times  at  night,  later  on 
only  twice  and  after  a  few  months  but  once  at  night. 

New  as  the  infant  is  to  the  surrounding  world  it 
shrinks  from  every  strange  sensation.  Therefore  we 
must  remember  that  the  child's  cry  is  oftener  a  signal  of 
distress  than  an  indication  of  hunger,  and  we  should  at 
once  ascertain  and  alleviate  the  cause  of  its  discomforts. 

The  mother's  diet,  her  physical  and  mental  condi- 
tions will  be  carried  to  the  child  in  her  milk.  She  will 
readily  see,  upon  being  reminded,  that  she  can  greatly 
conduce  to  the  welfare  of  the  babe  through  her  milk  by 
a  strict  adherence  to  diet,  cleanliness,  air,  exercise,  early 
hours,  reading  high-class  literature,  entertaining  only 
pure  and  happy  thoughts,  and  so  on.  Quiet  repose  for 
the  mother  and  infant  during  the  intervals  of  nursing 
is  beneficial  to  both. 

I  think  it  a  very  bad  custom  that  allows  a  young 
mother  to  entertain  callers  before  the  infant  is  a  fortnight 
old.  And  if  the  mother  and  child  could  both  have  abso- 


i.j.2  Mother ''s  Help  and 

lute  immunity  from  exciting  and  disturbing  influences 
during  the  entire  first  month,  it  would  enable  them  to 
establish  a  firm  basis  of  health  that  would  hold  them  in 
good  stead  in  after  years.  I  am  convinced  that  there  is 
nothing  gained  by  smartness  at  the  start. 

Providing  the  mother  is  free  from  any  serious  ail- 
ments, it  is  best  for  the  new  babe  to  lie  close  to  her,  as  it 
thereby  gets  strength  from  her  with  which  to  sustain  life. 
This  you  will  find  will  the  better  enable  it  to  resist  the 
effects  of  the  abuses  to  which  custom  subjects  it — such 
as  kissing,  too  much  handling,  noise,  strong  light,  tight 
bandages  and  other  uncomfortable  clothing,  dosing,  over- 
feediffg,  etc.,  etc. 

There  is  nothing  by  which  we  can  so  readily  detect  a 
lack  of  completeness  in  woman  as  through  evidences  of 
her  not  liking  children.  That  the  Law  of  Life  may  be 
worked  out,  womankind  has  an  inborn  fondness  for  ba- 
bies. A  quality  so  according  to  the  law  of  Nature  that  it 
shows  marked  development  in  childhood's  earliest  con- 
sciousness. And  a  doll  is  the  infant's  first  toy  and  its 
last  toy. 

A  woman  who  does  not  think  babies  the  loveliest 
things  on  earth  is  no  account  as  a  specimen  of  humanity. 
A  woman  who  does  not  recognize  childhood  as  the  most 
essential  state  in  the  progress  of  human  evolution,  you 
may  depend  on  it,  has  herself  not  yet  evolved  true 
womanhood. 

That  a  model  woman  has  no  greater  joy  than  infancy 
with  its  limpsy  trustfulness,  and  childhood  with  its  pretty, 
sweet  winsomeness,  furnishes  her,  is  no  mere  accident,  it 
was  wisely  arranged  so  by  the  Creator. 

I  have  no  greater  temptation  than  to  handle  and  caress 
an  infant,  and  as  for  these  cute  ones  who  have  gotten  so 
they  can  spin  along — why  they  actually  make  us  feel 


Child '  s  Friend  \  43 

good  all  over,  and  are  so  pretty  we  wish  we  could  put 
them  on  our  best  bonnet. 

Nevertheless,  I  am  aware  that  we  must  not  allow  these 
loving  temptations  to  lead  us  into  working  them  detri- 
ment by  disturbing  their  needed  repose  during  infancy, 
and  drawing  upon  their  vitality,  which  we  surely  do 
when  we  give  vent  to  our  affection  in  an  undue  amount 
of  hugging  and  kissing. 

These  tender  little  creatures  are  not  used  to  this  world 
and  they  must  be  kept  quiet  if  you  want  them  to  be 
symmetrical,  well,  and  free  from  nervousness  in  after 
years. 

During  the  first  month  or  more  the  babe's  time  is 
divided  up  between  sleeping  and  feeding.  Indeed  it 
should  not  be  kept  awake,  but  allowed  to  eat,  sleep  and 
grow.  Digestion,  nutrition,  and  growth  demand  this. 

A  healthy  infant  when  not  unduly  excited  will  read- 
ily fall  asleep  at  its  usual  time. 

Dr.  H.  S.  Tanner,  who,  from  the  spontaneity  of  his 
humane  heart,  has  done  much  for  children,  and  has 
made  a  study  of  their  lives  a  part  of  his  own,  agrees 
with  me  on  these  points. 

When  tenor  fourteen  days  old  an  infant  may  be  taken 
out  on  fine  days  for  fifteen  to  thirty  minutes  in  the 
nurse's  arms.  This  time  may  be  gradually  extended  to 
several  hours  a  day,  having  great  care  that  the  sun  or 
strong  light  does  not  strike  its  eyes. 

When  taking  the  infant  out  for  an  airing  do  not  carry 
it  in  a  sitting  posture  during  at  least  the  first  four  or  five 
months.  At  the  end  of  this  time  it  may  be  allowed  to 
sit  for  a  few  minutes  at  a  time,  but  not  on  so  narrow  a 
base  as  your  arm.  The  neck  is  too  frail  to  sustain  the 
head,  and  it  bobs  over  front  or  to  the  sides  when  impeded 
respiration  is  apt  to  occur  and  the  neck  be  injured. 


144  Mother's  Help  and 

The  best  possible  way  to  strengthen  the  child's  neck 
and  spine  is  to  keep  it  much  of  the  time  on  its  front. 
You  will  find  that  in  its  effort  to  lift  its  head  and  look 
around  it  gets  a  splendid  exercise  for  the  neck  and  spine 
— an  exercise  that  would  be  good  for  any  of  us,  as  it  is 
the  finest  of  all  things  for  straightening  the  upper  spine 
and  neck. 

About  the  sixth  month  baby's  dress  may  be  shortened, 
and  then  it  will  enjoy  being  down  on  a  soft  rug  "  on  all 
fours ' '  with  a  few  toys  exercising  its  limbs.  And  by 
crawling  strengthen  its  bones  and  muscles,  till  by  the 
time  it  should  walk  it  will  have  developed  strength. 
And  if  not  allowed  to  stand  too  young  it  will  have 
shapely  strong  legs,  which  is  infinitely  better  than  walk- 
ing too  soon  at  the  cost  of  crooked  legs.  I  say,  above  all 
do  not  encourage  precociousness  in  children.  This  is  a 
dangerous  way  of  indulging  your  vanity.  Our  inherent 
smartness  is  of  a  poor  quality,  if  we  can  find  no  other 
means  for  airing  it,  than  through  the  forwardness  of  our 
babes.  Infancy  should  be  devoted  to  the  accumulation 
of  physical  strength.  A  precocious  child  is  like  a  house 
being  built  on  the  sand,  looks  very  nice  ;  but  it  can  not 
hold  out  long.  It  is  sure  to  tumble. 

Do  not  entice  the  child  to  walk,  leave  it  alone  and  it 
will  learn  of  itself.  If  it  does  not  walk  until  it  is  two  years 
old  it  will  be  so  much  the  more  symmetrical.  All  arti- 
ficial means  of  supporting  and  aiding  the  child  are  bad, 
perhaps  the  go-cart  is  the  least  so.  The  strap  put  under 
its  arms  compresses  its  chest ;  leading  it  by  one  hand  will 
twist  the  spine  and  injure  the  delicate  armpits.  Also  do 
not  pick  up  the  child  by  its  arms,  as  is  so  common  even 
from  early  infancy  ;  this  should  be  avoided,  for  in  lifting 
the  infant  thus,  the  delicate  skin  is  pulled  up,  which 
naturally  tightens  the  skin  over  the  sensitive  abdomen 


Child's  Friend.  145 

and  causes  a  discomfort  that  is  very  distressing.  For 
this  reason,  as  well  as  others,  an  infant  should  under  no 
condition  be  raised  by  its  arms  or  sides.  Put  your  hands 
under  it,  and  do  not  allow  it  to  assume  an  upright  posi- 
tion at  all.  Keep  it  in  a  horizontal  position — back  down, 
front  down,  or  sides  down — until  it  is  several  months 
old  ;  the  reasons  for  this  are  many.  As  it  is  not  in  the 
nature  of  this  little  volume  to  go  into  physiological  and 
anthropological  detail,  I  will  only  mention  two — viz.: 
(i)The  spinal  system  is  so  soft  and  delicate  that  it  can 
not  sustain  an  upright  position  and  must  of  necessity 
succumb  under  its  own  weight  and  that  of  the  body  and 
head  to  a  bending  action— being  jointed — as  does  a 
string  of  beads.  Well,  by  these  repeated  acts,  the  deli- 
cate spine  becomes  bent,  and  as  the  child  grows  and  the 
spine  hardens  these  curves  are  retained.  ( 2)  The  in- 
testinal system  is  extremely  frail,  and  the  upright  post- 
ure of  the  body — by  the  natural  law  of  gravitation — 
forces  the  delicate  intestinal  system  down  out  of  its 
natural  place.  Here  I  have  mentioned  but  two  of  the 
many  systems  which  depend  upon  the  infant's  lying  po- 
sition for  the  establishment  of  their  regular  and  healthy 
function.  And  yet  from  these  two  alone  spring  innu- 
merable ailments  which,  if  they  do  not  take  away  the 
child  in  infancy,  will  lead  it  a  torturesome  life 'all  the  way 
to  the  grave.  So,  come,  dear  mothers,  let  us  utilize  in- 
fancy to  the  purpose  for  which  it  was  intended.  That 
by  this  steady,  undisturbed  healthy  growth  at  the  start, 
it  may  have  a  physical  foundation  truly  fit  upon  which 
to  build  the  brain. 


146 


Mother's  Help  and 


Beman&s  of  Nature 


HOUL,D  be  religiously  responded 
to.      A    regular  habit  is  easily 
established,  thereby  avoiding  the 
many  serious  results    of    waste 
matter  retained  only  to  poison  the 
system.     A  great  deal  of  food  is 
taken  that  can  not  be  assimilated. 
Usually,  much   is  taken   that   is 
not  food,  i.  e.,  that  has  no  food 
value,  no  food  properties,  and  must  be  elimi- 
nated before  it  has  time  to  tax  or  poison  the 
system. 

Colds  and  many  other  ailments  that  become  serious, 
might  have  been  averted  had  the  abdominal  viscera 
been  kept  free  to  perform  its  functions.  Hence,  the 
necessity  of  regularity  in  order  to  maintain  a  uniform 
working  of  the  human  mechanism. 

Eat  an  orange  before  breakfast  when  possible.  Al- 
ways take  an  abundance  of  fruits  and  cereals,  plenty  of 
water  and  exercise,  especially  twisting  and  bending  ex- 
ercises, and  massage  manipulation  of  the  stomach  and 
bowels,  and  an  occasional  warm  water  enema  at  night, 
just  before  retiring.  I^et  this  be  your  medicine  and  you 
will  keep  in  a  splendid  condition,  and  your  complexion 
improve  in  brilliancy  and  smoothness. 


Child's  Friend. 


147 


.  EAL/TH  is  the  normal  or  natural  state 
of  being. 

When  we  inculcate  into  daily  life 
Sanitary  Science,  hygiene,  and  a  high 
order  of  dietetic  science,  we  exhibit  a 
degree  of  intelligence  that  is  bound  to 
result  in  a  healthy,  beautiful  body, 
terminated  by  a  pure,  progressive 
spirit. 

What  is  more  discouraging,  more 
depressing  than  an  unhealthy  body  to  look  at  ?  There  is 
nothing  that  so  disarms  one.  No  one  thing  that  so 
hinders  the  onward  progress  of  the  human  family  as 
sickness  and  its  causes. 

Health  being  one  of  the  most  desirable  qualities  we 
can  possess,  one  is  surprised  that  the  secret  of  health 
and  longevity  are  not  made  open  facts  to  all,  by  investi- 
gation, education  and  custom. 

Health  would  be  the  rule  instead  of  exception,  if  the 
laws  were  kept.  However,  we  may  in  a  great  measure 
overcome  the  enfeebling  tendencies  transmitted  to  us  by 
our  ancestors  ;  but  it  requires  constant  thought  and  persist- 
ent effort.  For  to  violate  the  laws  of  health,  means  the 
same  as  backsliding  in  religion,  or  an  act  of  any  misde- 
meanor, a  repetition  of  the  offense  debases  you.  So  a 
repetition  of  offenses  to  the  body  enfeebles  it  beyond 


148  Mother's  Help  and 

repair.     It  becomes  unfit  to  hold  the  life,  and  separation 
— death — is  the  consequence. 

' '  To  guide  tne  health  of  the  people  is  the  first  duty 
of  the  statesman." — D' Israel. 


DEATHS  AMONG  CHILDREN. 

Statistics  show  that  one-fourth  of  the  children  born, 
die  before  the  age  of  one  year,  and  another  fourth  before 
the  end  of  the  fifth  year.  Inherited  tendencies  are  not 
always  the  product  of  one  generation,  but  mostly  reach 
us  after  gathering  force  from  countless  ancestors.  We 
receive  from  one  parent  one-fourth,  a  grandparent  trans- 
mits to  us  one-sixteenth,  and  so  on  way  back.  From  Mr. 
Galton,  wno  ranks  high  among  Anthropologists,  I  give 
the  iollowing  :  Out  of  66  marriages  in  which  one  of  the 
parents  was  a  consumptive,  they  produced  between  them 
413  children,  of  whom  70  were  actually  consumptive, 
and  others  so  in  various  degrees. 

Would  it  not  be  far  better  to  have  only  half  or  even 
one-fourth  the  children  we  do,  and  have  them  sound  in 
mind  and  body  than  to  waste  ourselves  in  populating  the 
universe  with  weaklings,  which  is  adding  fuel  to  the  fire 
that  is  consuming  the  purposes  for  which  we  came  here  ? 
The  natural  human  organism  is  vested  with  wonderful 
recuperative  powers,  and  if  our  parents  obey  the  laws 
and  live  ethically  we  will  find  that  the  human  body,  sur- 
rounded by  anything  like  favorable  or  natural  environs, 
and  left  alone — not  ill  treated,  will  not  get  out  of  order. 
And  in  the  next  place,  if  it  has  been  misused,  and  become 
ill,  it  will  soon  be  restored  by  being  left  to  rest,  with 
plenty  of  fresh  air,  water  and  wholesome  food.  So  sub- 
tile is  Nature's  own  restorer. 

When  God  conceived   the   human   creation,  he  im- 


Child's  Friend.  149 

bued  it  with  a  healing  power  within,  more  potent  than 
any  of  man's  inventions. 

How  the  human  body  protests  against  the  modern 
bondage,  and  abuse  to  which  it  is  subjected,  and  ardently 
it  pleads  to  be  natural  and  be  kept  well  by  the  doctor 
within  ;  but  we  heed  not  the  pleading  voice,  and  so  out- 
raged Nature  cries  aloud,  and  her  voice  is  photographed 
on  the  body  in  the  form  of  disease  ;  now  we  have  that  to 
pet  and  nurse,  and  seem  better  satisfied  than  to  have 
yielded  to  Nature's  demands.  Anthropology  reveals  the 
joint  operations  of  soul  and  body.  It  is  a  key  to  life, 
and  should  be  more  studied  by  parents  and  young  people. 

The  All- Wise  creative  Power  has  provided  avenues 
by  which  we  may  attain  to  the  higher  stages  ;  and  yet 
we  select  the  thorny  path  wherein  we  become  lacerated 
and  defiled.  If  we  would  consolidate  our  best  energies, 
generation  after  generation,  and  popularize  the  aim  in 
view,  thereby  changing  the  current  of  thought  into  a 
purer,  wholesome  channel,  we  could  for  the  future  avert 
the  avalanche  that  sweeps  so  destructively  over  us;  for 
consolidated  tendencies  of  mind  are  bequeathed  to  the 
race  as  an  avenue  by  which  it  may  reach  perfection. 

GRUMBLING  AND  DISCONTENT 

never  tenant  the  same  body,  as  do  health  and  soundness 
of  mind.  These  opposing  elements  are  at  such  variance 
with  each  other,  that  the  presence  of  .the  one  couplet 
means  the  annihilation  of  the  other.  It  shows  on  our 
part  a  lack  of  understanding  of  the  human  organism  to 
expect  such  an  unreasonable,  such  an  unscientific  ex- 
pression as  health  in  the  person  whose  triune  is  at  dis- 
cord with  the  tune  of  Nature. 

1 '  If  you  want  to  be  miserable,  think  about  yourself, 


150  Mother's  Help  and 

about  what  you  want,  what  you  like,  what  respect  peo- 
ple ought  to  pay  you.  and  what  people  think  of  you." 

Thinking  of  self,  grumbling,  fault-finding,  fear  of 
being  hurt  by  food,  bath,  exercise,  air  and  all  such  like. 
Sick  and  negative  thoughts  and  beliefs  can  not  develop 
health  and  harmony.  The  best  cure  for  this  affliction  is 
to  pay  off  your  doctor  with  many  thanks  for  his  kind- 
ness, then  apparel  yourself  in  a  comfortable  suit  through- 
out, indeed,  so  comfortable  that  not  one  spot  of  you  is 
pinched  or  suffers  a  friction  to  remind  you  of  yourself. 
Next,  start  out  early  in  the  day,  with  your  right  foot 
first,  determined  to  get  mastery  over  yourself.  Keep 
your  mouth  closed  and  determined,  but  at  the  same  time 
fill  your  lungs  through  your  nostrils  time  and  again  with 
fresh  air,  and  as  you  go  on  breathe  deeply,  at  the  same 
time  looking  about  for  some  poor  unfortunate  children  in 
whose  interest  you  can  forget  yourself,  and  in  this  way 
your  soul  will  grow  so  big  and  strong  as  to  banish  old 
pain  and  hold  the  fort  against  would-be  intruders  of  the 
discord  family. 

"  Each  one  sees  what  he  carries  in  his  heart. " — Goethe. 


Child's  Friend. 


Natural 


ATURAL  TRANSITION  to  the  next 
life  occurs  so  rarely  that  I  can  not  re- 
frain from  dwelling  upon  it  a  little. 
Not  more  than  one  in  a  thousand  dies 
naturally,  if,  indeed,  that  number. 
This  startles  you  because  you  never 
gave  the  subject  careful  study  and 
thought.  In  the  first  place  it  is  diffi- 
cult to  estimate  the  deaths  before  and. 
at  birth,  all  of  which  are  unnatural  —  the  result  of  viola- 
tion of  Nature's  laws.  Then  next,  about  one-third  of 
all  that  are  born  alive,  die  before  the  fifth  year  ;  this  is 
most  emphatically  unnatural.  If  it  is  natural  and  ad- 
vantageous to  the  human  creature  to  mature,  then  it 
must  be  that  it  is  unnatural  and  a  disadvantage  to  be 
robbed  of  the  ripening  years  and  experience  of  maturity 
and  age. 

You  will  say  it  is  natural  and  right  to  sicken  and  die. 
I  say  it  is  decidedly  wrong. 

The  transition  from  this  into  the  next  existence  should 
be,  can  be,  and  is  sometimes  made  without  sickness  and 
decay.  And  I  will  here  cite  the  case  of  one  of  my  grand- 
mothers who  was  one  of  these  fortunate  ones.  She  lived 
in  the  country  with  a  daughter,  and  found  enjoyment  and 
healthy  activity  among  her  grandchildren  and  the  birds, 
chickens  and  flowers,  way  into  a  goodly  old  age  ;  but 
finally  realized  that  her  well-numbered  years  would  war- 
rant her  "passing  on"  (as  she  called  it),  although  she 


152  Mother's  Help  and 

was  not  ill  nor  disabled.  One  morning  she  failed  to 
make  her  usual  prompt  appearance  at  breakfast.  And 
their  thinking  grandma's  non-appearance  only  tardiness 
in  dressing,  due  to  the  appearance  of  the  infirmities,  for 
which  they  had  long  looked  in  vain,  one  of  the  children 
went  to  offer  her  assistance,  and  to  their  surprise  found 
the  dear  old  lady  had  carefully  arranged  her  toilet  for  a 
farewell  appearance,  and  had  laid  herself  out,  leaving  a 
peaceful  expression  on  her  face,  had  "passed  on." 
Nothing  unnatural  at  all.  Simply,  she  did  not  resist 
Death  when  he  came.  The  good  old  lady  had  an  abhor- 
rence of  the  annoyance  to  family  and  friends  that  usually 
accompanies  sickness, — such  as  keeping  watch  at  night, 
nursing,  serving,  and  the  many  gross  and  petty  demands 
ill  people  usually  make  upon  family  and  friends,  and 
which  do  so  break  in  upon  the  regular  workings  of  the 
home  life.  She  rightly  believed  that  if  our  time  is 
monopolized  by  sickness  and  death,  we  shall  have  no 
opportunity  and  inclination  for  the  more  vital  and  im- 
portant duty  of  a  well-directed  life  work. 

Came  we  here  to  be  sick  ;  to  devote  ourselves  to  pain, 
decay  and  death  ?  Or  do  we  come  to  inhabit  a  sound, 
healthy  body,  that  we  may  devote  our  time  to  improve- 
ment, that  through  the  experience  here  gained,  we  may 
become  individualized,  and  in  the  next  life  have  a  recog- 
nizable entity  ? 

When  sickness  is  commonly  known  as  the  result  of  a 
violation  of  God's  natural  laws,  and  as  such,  a  disgrace, 
we  shall  have  more  NATURAL  DEATHS. 

Most  of  us  have  too  little  confidence  in  our  surround- 
ings and  in  the  system  the  Divine  Force  has  inaugurated, 
and,  through  Nature,  works  out  with  regularity  and  jus- 
tice. To  these  facts  we  should  open  our  understanding, 
and  bring  ourselves  into  harmonious  relationship  with 


Child's  Friend.  153 

these  laws,  through  the  obedience  of  which  alone  we  can 
get  a  grasp  on  life  and  retain  it,  in  the  sense  for  which  it 
was  intended.  This  body  is  too  often  a  burden  to  us, 
instead  of  being  as  it  was  intended,  a  natural  habiliment 
with  which  we  are  clothed  and  protected  while  our  spirit 
is  making  its  natural  voyage.  Nor  do  I  think  this  ex- 
perience should  in  the  right  ordering  of  things  have  to 
deal  with  misery  and  privation.  God  so  created  this 
earth  that  there  would  be  plenty  for  all,  if  His  reasonable 
dictates  were  followed.  With  man's  willfully  depraved 
interpretation  of  life,  can  aught  else  than  poverty,  igno- 
rance, vice,  disease  and  general  ugliness  result  ? 

In  that  we  are  come  into  this  life  after  it  has  been  so 
demoralized,  it  is  probably  to  our  most  lasting  good,  to 
endure  with  fortitude  those  misfortunes  which  we  can  not 
shake  off.  It  is  our  duty,  however,  to  avoid  inharmony, 
save  where  we  unavoidably  encounter  it  in  elevating  our- 
selves and  humanity  ;  and  even  then  we  should  re-attune 
ourselves  as  speedily  as  possible  in  compliance  with  the 
Divine  ordering  of  things.  And  so  continue  while  this 
existence  offers  any  opportunity  for  progress.  This 
achieved,  or  when  there  is  no  longer  hope  of  progress, 
rather  than  to  degenerate,  ' '  pass  on. ' '  Instead  of  cling- 
ing to  the  old  body  let  loose  of  it,  and  grasp  on  to  Hope 
of  Everlasting  Salvation. 

It  is  not  reasonable  to  suppose  that  a  painful,  dis- 
eased, rickety  body  can  in  any  way  conduce  to  the  inter- 
ests of  the  spiritual  life.  Therefore  the  spirit  had  better 
be  united  to  this  life  by  a  healthy  body  even  at  the  last 
moment ;  and  let  the  spirit  make  a  willing  surrender  of 
the  earthly  habiliment.  To  resist  the  transition  has  in 
it  no  merit ;  while  to  know  and  obey  the  laws  of  a  true 
life  is  a  jeweled  virtue. 


A  Lullaby. 


Words  and  Music  by  Mrs.  ADA  E  METCALFE. 
Andante  e  Cantabile. 


-* — i — * — -  • 


1.  By  -  lo     ba  -  by,      by-  lo  -by; 

2.  By  -  lo    ba  -  by,      by  -  lo  -  by; 


Ma  -ma's  dar-ling, 
Ma  -ma's  bird  -ie, 


I  •»• — 

*  Written  expressly  for  this  work. 


A  Lullaby.     Concluded. 


X 


do    not     cry ;        Nes  -  tie  close       to    ma-ma's  breast ; 
cease    to    sigh;        An  -  gels  near    thee guard  and  keep; 


By  -   lo,          ba  -    by,  take      thy       rest. 

By  -  lo,          ba  -    by,  go         to       sleep. 


ritard. 


Sleep,   sleep,       ba  -  by,  sleep,     Ba  -    by,  sleep,   sleep. 


ritard.    s 


-" 1 T S^fc "I 1 1 II 


feyEEEjEtbEEE5EitEEEy=ISEEfl 


156  Mother's  Help  and 


HEALTHY  baby  devotes  the 
greater  portion  of  its  first  two 
months  to  sleep,  after  which  it 
gradually  decreases  the  amount  to 
two  hours  in  the  forenoon  and  one 
hour  in  the  afternoon.  Children 
up  to  the  age  of  five  years  should 
sleep  at  least  a  few  minutes  after  the  mid- 
day  meal,  and  be  in  the  habit  of  going  to 
sleep  for  night  as  early  as  eight  o'clock  or  before. 
Up  to  the  twelfth  year  a  child  needs  ten  to  twelve 
hours  of  sleep.  Up  to  the  fifteenth  young  people  should 
be  given  ten  hours  of  sleep,  and  till  the  twentieth  year 
nine  hours.  After  that  one  finds  out  how  much  he  or 
she  requires,  though  as  a  rule  six  to  eight  hours  are 
necessary. 

Eight  hours  of  peaceful  sleep  will  prevent  more  nerv- 
ous derangements  in  women*  than  any  medicine  can 
cure. 

"  During  growth  there  must  be  ample  sleep  if  the 
brain  is  to  develop  to  its  full  extent.  And  the  more 
nervous,  excitable  or  precocious  a  child  is,  the  more 
sleep  should  it  get  if  its  intellectual  progress  is  not  to 
come  to  a  premature  stand-still,  or  its  life  be  cut  short  at 
an  early  age. ' ' 


*If  the  sleeping-room  is  provided  with  abundance  of  fresh  air. 


Child's  Friend.  157 

If  a  child  sleeps  with  an  old  person  or  a  sickly  one,  it 
is  being  robbed  of  its  vitality,  while  the  old  or  sickly 
person  gets  the  strength. 

The  infant  should  be  laid  to  sleep  on  its  stomach, 
with  its  face  turned  to  one  side  to  allow  of  free  breath- 
ing, and  its  position  changed  during  sleep.  In  truth  it 
is  well  to  keep  infants  on  their  stomach  much  more  than 
is  customary.  Avoid  the  pillow  except  when  lying  on 
the  side. 

Much  is  said  about  infants  getting  used  to  noise  when 
they  are  asleep.  They  may  get  accustomed  to  noise  ; 
nevertheless  it  has  been  proved  that  noise  to  a  sleeping 
infant  is  decidedly  injurious.  Nervous  troubles  and 
brain  diseases  that  are  attributed  to  other  causes  fre- 
quently have  their  origin  in  the  babies'  disturbed  sleep. 
It  is  a  mistake  to  think  because  the  noise  does  not  arouse 
the  child  wide  awake  that  it  is  not  injurious.  Too 
much  stress  can  not  be  put  upon  the  necessity  of  ex- 
cluding lignt  during  sleep,  to  insure  sweet  repose  and  a 
natural  nurture  of  the  eye — that  organ  so  delicate  at 
any  time  of  life,  especially  so  in  infancy. 

CHILD'S  PRAYER. 

Bless  papa  and  mamma,  sister  and  brother  and  every- 
body, make  us  all  good  children,  Dear  Lord.  Amen. 

INSOMNIA  (Sleeplessness). 

This  is  an  affliction  so  prevalent  at  the  present  day 
that  a  little  space  devoted  to  it  may  not  come  amiss.  In- 
somnia is  immediately  caused  by  stagnation  of  blood  at 
the  brain, — not  always  too  much  blood  at  the  brain — 
which  brings  about  an  activity  there  that  prevents  sleep. 
There  may  be  rush  of  blood  to  the  brain,  due  to  over 
exercise  mentally,  or  excitement  in  a  close  room  ;  and 


158  Mother's  Help  and 

may  be  counteracted  by  vigorous  physical  exercise  daily, 
and  imbibing  plenty  of  fresh  air.  Refrain  from  mental 
and  physical  exercise  for  at  least  the  half  hour  following 
each  meal.  Sink  quietly  into  a  chair,  that  the  blood 
may  go  to  the  stomach  and  aid  digestion  and  relieve  the 
brain. 

Drinking,  at  bed  time,  a  glass  of  warm  milk  ;  taking 
a  dish  of  ice-cream,  or  eating  peanuts,  or  a  couple  of 
plain  water  crackers,  at  the  same  time  drinking  warm 
water,  are  vehicles  for  enticing  the  blood  away  from  the 
head  to  the  stomach,  where  it  (the  blood)  will  be  en- 
gaged in  the  work  of  digestion.  Meantime,  Morpheus 
will  take  advantage  of  the  absence  of  Mr.  Blood,  and 
lull  to  sleep  the  weary  brain. 

But  the  permanent,  and  therefore,  best  cure,  is  the  ex- 
ercise— air — cure.  Why  ?  Because  it  distributes  the  blood 
equally  to  all  parts  as  Nature  intended,  and  thereby 
nourishing,  not  only  the  nutritive,  but  also  the  nervous 
and  muscular  systems.  Also  giving  the  arterial  and 
venous  systems  opportunity  to  perfectly  perform  their 
functions  ;  after  which  a  supply  of  new  blood  will  go  to 
the  brain  and  better  enable  it  to  perform  its  duties. 

•  First,  when  ready  to  retire  for  the  night,  see  that  the 
bed  is  out  from  the  wall  all  around,  that  the  head  is 
higher  than  the  foot  (not  by  pillows,  avoid  pillows),  that 
there  are  no  quilts  or  comforters,  as  they  permit  of  no 
ventilation — use  only  blankets  as  they  are  porous ;  see 
that  the  room  is  open  for  air,  and  that  there  is  no  light 
to  consume  the  life  sustaining  properties  of  the  atmos- 
phere. Then  eat  something  light,  nothing  stimulating, 
and  go  out  for  a  walk  of  two  or  more  blocks,  swinging 
the  arms  and  exercising' as  much  of  the  body  as  possible, 
keeping  the  mouth  closed  and  inhaling  through  the  nos- 
trils plenty  of  fresh  air.  Upon  coming  in  do  not  read 


Child's  Friend. 


159 


nor  talk,  but  go  directly  to  bed.     This  formula  is  my 
infallible  cure  for  sleeplessness. 

I^et  me  again  warn  you  against  having  a  light  burn- 
ing in  your  sleeping-rooms  during  the  evening  ;  it  is 
very,  very  bad,  unless  there  is  a  constant  flow  of  fresh 
air  into  the  room,  and  even  then  it  would  be  better  with- 
out light,  as  it  rapidly  consumes  the  life-giving  proper- 
ties of  the  atmosphere. 


"  Prayer  is  a  golden  key  which  should   open   the 
morning  and  lock  up  the  evening." — Bishop  Hopkins. 


i6o 


Mother's  Help  and 


HILDREN'S  clothes  should  be  easy 
all  over,  but  most  especially  at  the 
neck,  arms  and  feet,  allowing  per- 
fect freedom  for  exercise.  Clothing 
should  be  more  equally  distributed 
over  the  body  than  ti  usually  is. 
Not  enough  to  oppress  and  per- 
spire the  child,  but  sufficient  tojkeep 
it  comfortable.  Rough  flannel  next  to  the 
skin  should  be  avoided  as  it  irritates  the  skin  and  causes 
restlessness.  Use  tapes  and  buttons,  not  pins.  Every 
particle  of  clothing  worn  during  the  day  must  be  re- 
moved at  night  and  hung  by  the  window  to  air.  For  in- 
fants a  loose  gown,  and  for  children,  who  toss  about  and 
throw  off  the  cover,  a  jacket- trowser-hose  combination 
of  soft  flannel  for  winter,  and  cotton  flannel  or  canton 
flannel  for  summer. 

The  child's  underwear  should  always  be  made  union, 
that  is  all  in  one  ;  tucks  can  be  put  in  sleeve,  trunk  and 
leg  to  allow  for  growth,  and  must  reach  down  into  the 
shoes.  This  underwear  may  be  of  silk,  lisle,  cotton,  or 
soft  wool,  and  may  be  of  any  color,  as  the  hose  are  long 
and  the  over-panties  match  the  dress  or  hose.  Panties 
should  never  be  white  unless  the  dress  is  white. 

The  child's  dress  should  never  be  too  fine  for  the 
occasion.  For  romping  or  digging  in  the  dirt  the  dress 


Child's  Friend.  161 

may  be  of  wash  flannel,  light-weight  bed  ticking,  ging- 
ham, or  any  stout,  washable  material.  Avoid  all  kinds 
of  stiff,  harsh  and  scratchy  materials  for  children's 
dresses,  and  allow  no  starch. 

SHOES. 

As  children  spend  most  all  day  on  their  feet,  it  is 
positively  cruel  to  dress  them  for  looks  regardless  of 
comfort.  Heels  should  under  no  condition  be  allowed 
on  the  shoes  of  a  growing  child.  Even  adults  are  again 
finding  themselves  more  comfortable  and  graceful  with- 
out heels.  The  most  graceful  and  stylish  young  lady  I 
ever  knew,  said  she  had  never  owned  a  corset  nor  heeled 
shoes ;  bu^  had  tried  them  on,  and  knew  how  hateful 
they  felt.  Many  of  us  are  glad  both  of  these  useless 
abominations  are  rapidly  being  consigned  to  the  giddy- 
headed  who  have  not  yet  discovered  but  what  their 's  are 
improvements  on  God's  torso  and  heel.  We  humans 
show  our  superiority  over  the  lower  animals  by  the  heel 
with  which  our  Creator  favored  us,  that  we  might  acquire 
and  retain  an  upright  position  ;  but  this  state  of  affairs 
did  not  suit  us,  we  tired  of  our  superior  walking  member 
and  would  revert  to  the  animal  paw  or  hoof,  and  by  way 
of  an  effort,  pushed  the  heel  up,  extended  the  foot  and 
supplanted  the  God-given  heel  by  one  to  suit  our  fancy. 
This  new  heel  strikes  the  ground  before  the  ball  of  the 
foot  can,  which  gives  a  jerk  or  jostle  to  the  entire  frame, 
doing  irreparable  injury  to  the  nerves,  at  the  same  time 
destroying  all  ease  and  grace  of  movement.  It  is  well 
known  that  the  heel-wearing  people  are  the  least  grace- 
ful of  any  nation.  All  animals  are  graceful,  and  so 
would  we  be  if  we  dressed  properly.  Easy,  free  move- 
ment restricted  by  dress  is  a  common  source  of  nerv- 
ousness. 


1 62  Mother's  Help  and 

Heels  cause  a  fatiguing  tension  on  the  muscles  that 
sometimes  unnerves  the  strongest  child  and  girl,  and  is 
the  cause  of  the  exaggerated  physiological  curve  of  the 
back,  the  prominent  shoulder  blades,  and  the  shooting 
forward  of  the  head,  which  we  commonly  see,  and  not 
infrequently  a  factor  in  producing  spinal  curvature. 

WHAT  THE  CORSET  DOES. 

Shuts  off  the  supply  of  oxygen,  confines  the  muscles, 
interferes  with  metabolism,*  shuts  off  the  bile,  so  neces- 
sary for  digestion,  cripples  the  liver,  and  misplaces  many 
of  the  internal  organs  on  whose  functional  activity  de- 
pend the  body  and  brain. 

Dr.  Ruddock,  of  England,  says  there  are  several 
practical  errors  on  the  subject  of  clothing,  committed 
perhaps  by  a  majority  of  persons  to  which  we  may 
briefly  allude ;  and  Dr.  Binkie  joins  him  in  saying  that 
' '  the  first  and  most  obvious  of  these  is  wearing  too  much 
clothing  indoors  or  in  bed,  thereby  both  exhausting  the 
natural  powers  of  the  skin,  and  exposing  its  action  to  a 
sudden  check  on  going  out  into  the  cold  air.  This  forms 
one  of  the  principal  objections  to  the  almost  universal 
use  of  flannel  worn  next  to  the  skin  and  kept  on  during 
the  night."  But  if  you  observe  closely  you  will  find 
that  those  who  have  colds,  mostly,  are  those  who  wear 
rubbers  early  and  late.  Rubbers  do  well  for  what  they 
were  intended,  just  to  slip  on  when  it  is  moist  under  foot, 
and  to  be  removed  at  once  upon  entering  a  house.  They 
are  very  unhealthy  when  kept  on  any  length  of  time. 

The  corset,  the  bustle,  the  hoop,  together  with  stiff 
hats  and  bonnets  should  at  once  be  consigned  to  their  in- 
evitable doom  and  do  penance  in  the  relentless  manipu- 


*The  act  of  producing  the  chemical  cell  changes. 


Child' s  Friend.  163 

lations  of  the  boy's  pet  goat.  And,  as  for  the  man  who 
invented  starch,  where  shall  we  find  a  place  bad  enough 
for  him  ?  Where  are  the  scales  big  enough  to  weigh 
the  pain,  the  grief,  the  soul-corroding  effects  of  these 
things  ? 

Fashion  is  a  sort  of  a  criterion  by  which  we  may 
know  the  mental  state  of  the  people  ;  as  the  weather- 
cock above  a  house  indicates  which  way  the  wind  blows, 
likewise  do  fashions  express  the  sentiment  of  the  people. 
So  when  the  fashions  are  adopted  regardless  of  any 
merit  they  possess  from  an  utility  or  moral  standpoint, 
we  may  know  that  the  minds  of  our  people  could  to 
their  own  and  country's  advantage  undergo  a  mental 
house-cleaning,  and  be  refurnished  with  something  less 
shoddy. 

Would  people  eat,  drink  and  dress  for  utility,  and  not 
for  fashion,  want  and  misery  would  be  unknown. 

GIRLS  AND  WOMEN 

should  strive  to  have  as  few  pieces  of  clothing  as  is  con- 
sistent with  their  station  in  life. 

THE    UNDERWEAR 

should  invariably  be  union — all  in  one  piece — and  of 
silk,  lisle,  cotton,  wool,  or  linen,  hand  or  machine  knit- 
ted, and  never  starched.  There  should  be  no  waist- 
bands. Tights,  or  one  single  skirt  with  a  skeleton 
waist,  must  take  the  place  of  the  three  to  seven  skirts 
which  Dame  Fashion  has  persuaded  womankind  to  be  the 
proper  caper.  This  load  woman  has  carried  with  silent 
resignation,  with  fortitude  that  expressed  itself  only 
through  such  channels  as  the  scowling  or  dark-lined  face, 
the  headache,  backache  and  pelvis  troubles.  There 
should  be  no 


164  Mother  *s  Help  and 

STOCKING  STRAPS 

dragging  on  the  shoulders  and  waist.  If  the  hose  will 
not  cling  to  the  underwear  they  may  be  pinned  thereto 
with  two  or  more  safety  pins. 

THE  GOWN  (DRESS) 

must  be  all  in  one  piece,  and  never  tight-fitting.  And  is 
prettier,  more  artistic,  not  to  be  smooth-fitting,  but 
rather  draped  onto  the  figure. 

THE  WRAP, 

for  traveling  and  for  the  street,  should  always  envelop 
the  form  from  throat  to  toe,  and  should  be  loose.  For 
going  to  indoor  affairs,  the  ENVELOPE  may  be  thrown 
aside  for  a  small  fancy  covering,  but  never  a  tight  jacket. 
There  are  many  lovely  wraps  which  are  beautiful,  artistic, 
and  do  not  ' '  go  out  of  style. ' '  * 

SHOES 

should  match  the  wrap,  when  a  long  one  is  worn.  They 
should  be  flexible  and  easy.  When  indoors  they  should 
always  be  low  and  should  match  the  dress. 

THE   GLOVES 

should  always  be  loose  and  have  anything  but  a  tight 
smooth  look.  The  hand  must  have  the  look  of  being  as 
flexible  in  a  glove  as  out  of  it.  No  glove  at  all  is  better 
than  a  tight  one. 

THE  HAT 

of  to-day,  while  it  is  an  improvement  over  the  hat  of 
the  past,  is  yet  far  from  perfect. 

For  utility  and  beauty  as  well  as  morality  we  must 


*See  Book  on  "  Dress  "  by  this  Author. 


Child's  Friend. 


165 


avoid  the  stiff  bonnet  or  hat,  the  conglomerated  hat,  and 
the  hat  that  serves  as  a  tree— or  rather  as  a  hearse,  for 
birds  in  all  sorts  of  excruciating  positions.  The  hat 
wields  a  mighty  influence.  Shall  it  be  a  missionary  for 
evil  or  for  good  ? 

Let  us  have  the  hat  a  broad  rimmed  simple  one  for 
protection  from  the  sun's  rays  ;  a  small,  soft,  wrinkled 
turban  for  comfort  and  beauty  ;  or  the  Spanish  style  of 
lace  covering,  which  is  always  beautiful  always  in  style, 
and  may  be  as  elegant  as  you  like,  and  handed  on  up  as 
an  heir-loom.  Let  us  not  forget  that  ' '  Economy  is  in 
itself  a  source  of  revenue." 


1 66  Mother's  Help  and 


Nurses. 

HE  mother  should,  so  far  as  possible, 
have  charge  of  the  children.  Rather 
hire  any  and  all  other  work  done  than 
the  caring  for  the  little  ones  ;  for  this 
work  no  one  is  so  well  adapted  as  the 
mother.  Nor  can  it  be  expected  that 
others  than  the  mother  will  keep  their 
little  minds  and  bodies  clean. 

We  find  in  the  most  civilized  countries 
woeful  lack  of  interest  in  the  caring  of  children, 
especially  in  the  nursery.  Some  common  servants  who 
are  only  a  little  better  than  idiots,  or  what  is  worse,  from 
low  breeding,  are  vulgar  in  speech  and  manners,  find 
themselves  incompetent  as  housemaids,  and,  unable  or 
unwilling  to  learn,  seek  employment  as  nursemaids,  as 
that  source  of  livelihood  requires  no  special  knack  in 
training,  which,  as  good  mothers  should  know,  and  do 
know,  is  a  gross  error. 

IF  THERE  IS  ANY  DEPARTMENT  ON  EARTH 
FOR  WHICH  TRAINING  IS  NECESSARY,  IT  IS 
THE  NURSERY. 

Our  conditions  of  health,  mind,  and  morals  through 
life,  are  due  to  the  caring  of  us  in  infancy.  Among  the 
things  that  undermine  our  constitution  the  following  are 
but  a  few  :  Soothing  syrup,  improper  feeding,  improper 
bathing,  foul  air,  being  with  persons  who  have  bad 
breath,  who  are  out  of  health  or  diseased,  too  much 


Child's  Friend.  167 

rocking,  improper  handling,  too  much  tossing  about  and 
excitement,  damp  clothing,  bumps  and  such  like,  all,  or 
most  of  which  can  be  avoided  if  the  mother  has  the  care 
of  the  babe. 

It  would  be  an  excellent  plan  for  us  to  court  a  high 
standard  of  excellence  in  our  nursemaids.  To  accept 
none  but  such  as  are  scrupulously  clean  in  person  and 
appearance,  are  good-looking,  intelligent,  and  unques- 
tionable in  character.  They  are  our  most  intimate  asso- 
ciates, and  do  wield  a  mighty  influence  over  the  little 
ones.  For  these  reasons  we  should  select  with  infinitely 
greater  care  our  children's  care-takers  than  we  do  our 
calling  acquaintances. 

Nurses  should  be  refined,  nice  looking,  amiable, 
cheerful,  amusing,  and  above  all,  moral,  which  in  most 
cases  they  are  not. 

The  cases  where  the  nurse — the  child's  daily  compan- 
ion and  instructor — is  fit  to  sit  at  the  table  with  us  are  so 
rare,  that  all  there  are  in  the  world  might  almost  be 
counted  on  your  fingers  and  toes.  Is  n't  this  a  strange 
fact? 


1 68 


Mother's  Help  and 


need  fresh  air  and  frequent  bathing. 
Shade  them  so  that  the  glare  of  the 
jjfl^  light  will  fall  on  the  work  or  book  and 
not  on  the  eyes.     Have  a  good  light, 
and  do  not  strain  the  sight  by  a  dull 
light.     If  the  eyes  are  inflamed,  dip  a 
clean  handkerchief  in  hot  water  and 
lay  it  on  them  when  going  to  bed  at 
night.      If   troubled   much   with   in- 
flamed eyes,  leave  off  eating  meat ; 
^  eat  fruit,  cereals  and  vegetables.     But 

above  all,  have  plenty  of  fresh  air  in  your  room. 

The  prevalence  of  short-sightedness  among  the  upper 
and  middle  classes  may  be  received  as  a  proof  that  some 
error  in  hygienic  management  gives  rise  to  this  defect. 
It  is  probable  that  long  confinement  of  the  young  within 
doors  at  school  or  home  have  no  small  influence  here. 
The  eye,  like  any  other  organ,  adapts  itself  to  its  cir- 
cumstances. While  that  of  the  wandering  Indian  is 
accustomed  to  scan  distant  as  well  as  near  objects,  and 
so  becomes  adapted  by  exercise  for  its  varied  duties. 
Near-sightedness  is  sometimes  inherited,  but  more  fre- 
quently, like  other  habits,  acquired  through  practice. 
The  mariner  has  a  long  range  of  vision  ;  so  has  one  who 
lives  or  travels  on  the  plains ;  while  those  who  live  in 
crowded  cities,  with  narrow  streets  and  high  buildings, 


Child' s  Friend.  169 

that  limit  the  length  of  view,  or  those  who  spend  their 
developing  days  in  rooms  bound  by  four  walls  at  close 
range,  are  very  near-sighted.  And  if  there  should  arise 
a  school-teacher  who  insisted  upon  testing  the  pupils' 
eyes,  and  seating  the  children  at  a  comfortable  distance 
from  the  map  or  that  trying  blackboard,  she  would  prob- 
ably be  tabooed  by  other  teachers  and  superintendents  as 
a  "crank."  Cruelty  at  school  is  less  fashionable  than  it 
used  to  be  ;  but  it  is  far  from  being  out  of  style  yet. 

If  you  wish  the  children  to  have  long  sight,  practice 
them,  beginning  with  their  natural  range  of  vision  and 
gradually  increase  the  distance  at  which  you  place  their 
books  or  field  objects. 

Cross  eyes,  too,  are  inherited  or  marked,  but  more 
often  gotten  through  heedlessness  on  the  part  of  parents 
while  the  infant  is  young.  Carelessness  in  washing  the 
eyes ;  also  in  the  way  a  strong  light  strikes  the  eyes, 
together  with  a  fly  or  a  speck  on  the  infant's  nose,  at 
which  it  is  sure  to  look  ;  or  it  may  be  from  some  tassel 
or  ribbon  hanging  from  its  cap  down  over  its  eyes,  or 
any  object  that  is  brought  so  near  its  eyes  that  they  turn 
in,  in  order  to  see  it. 

Mothers  avoid  all  these  causes  so  far  as  it  lays  in  your 
power,  that  your  children  may  be  blessed  with  good 
sight. 


170 


Mother's  Help  and 


Collet. 


CARE   OP  THE  TEETH. 

IS  never  too  soon  to  begin  the  care  of  the 
child's  teeth  after  it  begins   to    eat.     A 
wooden    tooth-pick    will    do,    though  .it 
almost  always  leaves  shreds  of  the  wood 
between  the  teeth,  and  for  this  reason  a 
finely  pointed  soft  quill   is  superior,  and 
the  mouth  to  be  well  rinsed.     The  child 
will  come  to  be  fond  of  having  its  teeth 
1     kept  clean.     After  the  child    is  five  years  old 
»    the  brush  may  be  used   in  addition   to  the  pick 
and  rinsing  the  mouth  ;  but  only  the  ver}r  best  brush  that 
is  made,  and  warranted  not  to  drop  its  bristles,  should 
be  used.     Do  not  try  to  economize  in  your  child's  tooth- 
brush, it  is  bad  enough  in  your  own  case,  and  becomes 
doubly  serious  with  the  child  to  struggle  against  a  bristle 
in  the  throat. 

It  is  a  great  benefit  to  the  child  in  later  years  to  have 
kept  its  baby  teeth  as  long  as  possible  ;  yet  they  should 
be  closely  watched — not  allowed  to  remain  when  the 
second  set  makes  its  appearance.  Nothing  so  enhances 
a  child's  beauty  as  good  teeth.  Never  allow  the  child 
to  go  to  bed  for  the  night  without  first  having  its  teeth 
thoroughly  cleaned.  White  dental  floss  goes  in  between 
the  teeth  nicely  where  pick  and  brush  fail  to  reach. 
White  castile  soap  is  safe,  though  gluten  soap  is  supe- 


Child's  Friend.  171 

rior  for  cleansing  with  the  brush.  If  you  find  a  decayed 
spot  in  the  teeth,  take  the  child  at  once  to  the  dentist  for 
a  filling,  that  the  child  may  be  saved  the  discomforts 
that  arise  from  allowing  the  teeth  to  fall  into  a  bad 
condition. 

The  baby  teeth  —  which  were  never  intended  by 
Nature  to  be  removed  by  decay — called  temporary  or 
deciduous,  are  designed  to  serve  until  the  jaws  are  suffi- 
ciently grown  and  strong  to  develop  teeth  capable  of  do- 
ing service  in  conformity  to  the  demands  that  will  be 
made  upon  them.  Of  these  there  are  twenty,  which  be- 
gin to  make  their  appearance,  varying  at  from  four  to 
eight  months  of  age,  depending  upon  the  amount  of  limy 
material  in  the  system.  The  middle  two  incisors  of  the 
lower  jaw  are  cut  first,  and  are  followed  by  those  of  the 
upper  jaw.  About  the  sixth  year  four  double  or  molar 
teeth  make  their  appearance  ;  these  are  permanent  and 
should  be  carefully  preserved  from  decay.  My  little  one 
shed  her  first  baby-tooth  at  eight  years  of  age  without 
having  a  defective  speck  on  any  of  them. 

Employ  a  dentist  to  examine  the  teeth  occasionally  to 
see  that  they  are  in  a  good  condition.  The  permanent 
teeth — thirty-two  in  number,  sixteen  in  each  jaw — are 
divided  into  eight  front,  or  cutting  teeth  ;  four  cuspids, 
or  eye-teeth  ;  "and  twenty  molars,  or  grinders.  If  kept 
clean  and  filled  the  very  day  a  speck  of  cavity  appears, 
will  do  service  into  old  age, — that  is,  providing  there  is 
anything  like  a  fair  amount  of  lime  property  in  the  sys- 
tem. 

Of  late  we  frequently  see  items  in  the  papers  to  the 
effect  that  we  shall  soon  be  bald  and  toothless  ;  and  so 
we  shall  if  we  persist  in  eating  soft  foods  that  rob  the 
teeth  of  the  exercise  they  should  have,  if  we  continue  to 
eat  foods  made  of  fine  wheat  flour  and  other  foods  devoid 


172  Mother's  Help  and 

of  vegetable  lime.  Meat  and  fine  white  wheat  food  will  not 
grow  beauty.  If  we  want  fine  hair  and  good  teeth,  we 
must  take  into  the  system  such  food  as  contains  the  prop- 
erties which  go  to  build  hair  and  teeth.*  Never  pick 
your  teeth  in  a  public  place. 

THE  HAIR. 

To  rake  and  tug  with  a  comb  at  the  snarls  in  the 
child's  hair  is  brutal.  Just  tangle  up  your  own  hair  and 
let  some  one  else  comb  it,  and  see  for  yourself  how  it  feels. 
First,  with  a  brush  and  your  fingers,  carefully  part  the 
hair  from  forehead  to  nape  of  neck.  After  which  you 
may  proceed  to  untangle  the  hair  by  again  parting  off 
sections,  until  you  have  it  all  ready  to  dress. 

The  hair  should  be  frequently  washed,  and  always  in 
rain  water  and  gluten  soap — that  is,  if  you  don't  want 
a  bald  head.  The  water  should  be  only  tepid.  The 
gluten  in  this  soap  feeds  the  cells  that  grow  hair.  The 
rain  water  is  healing,  cleansing  and  soft  without  the  aid 
of  artificial  means.  After  wiping  the  hair  gently  with  a 
very  soft  linen  towel,  it  may  be  dried  in  the  sun  (this  is 
best),  by  a  stove  or  by  fanning  it. 

Foods  readily  change  the  color  of  the  hair.  Such 
foods  as  contain,  much  sulphur,  iron,  etc.,  will  darken 
the  hair.  A  cup  of  strong  pennyroyal  tea  has  darkened 
my  hair  four  shades  in  one  night,  when  taken  just  before 
going  to  bed. 

Milk  and  farinaceous  foods  usually  keep  the  hair 
light,  though  of  course  this  is  governed  somewhat  upon 
the  properties  in  the  soil  and  atmosphere  as  well  as  alka- 
loid. 

Instead  of  cutting  the  hair  in  the  fulling  of  the  moon, 


"  Food  and  its  Relations  to  Beauty,"  by  this  author. 


Child 's  friend.  173 

draw  a  comb  through  it  to  within  a  little  distance  of  the 
ends,  hold  it  thus  while  you  BURN  OFF  the  ends.  This 
leaves  the  wounds  at  the  ends  of  the  hair  closed  up. 

The  hair  left  hanging,  will  lengthen.  If  piled  on  top 
of  the  head,  'twill  thicken. 

Women  should  exercise  more  care  in  the  selection  of 
a  style  of  dressing  the  hair  that  is  becoming  rather  than 
fashionable.  If  the  head  is  prominent  at  the  back  but 
flat  on  top,  dress  the  hair  very  high ;  if  the  head  is 
well  developed  on  top  but  flat  at  back  wear  the  hair 
there  ;  if  the  top  and  crown  of  head  are  both  well  shaped 
the  hair  may  be  worn  low.  In  this  way  Art  does  for  us 
what  Nature  failed  to  do. 

THE  NOSE. 

You  will  notice  that  those  who  have  the  flat,  turned- 
down  nose  always  wipe  it  downward  instead  of  wiping  it 
upward  as  they  should.  That  those  with  the  turned-up 
nose  invariably  wipe  it  upward  instead  of  down,  as  they 
should.  A  nose  that  starts  out  in  childhood  to  meet  the 
chin  can  be  kept  very  reasonably  lofty  by  a  lifetime  of 
upward  wiping.  The  nose  that  starts  out  to  touch  the 
ceiling  may  be  kept  within  the  bounds  of  propriety,  and 
even  beautiful,  by  a  constant  down  wiping.  But  if  the 
nose  is  in  any  degree  ideal  the  handkerchief!  the  great 
catarrh  aggravator,  should  be  kept  out  of  sight.  Is  it 
any  wonder  that  catarrh  is  alarmingly  on  the  increase, 
when  our  fashionable  dry-goods  shops  make,  not  only  a 
bold  display  of  nose-wipes,  but  actually  make  handker- 
chiefs a  beautiful  and  irresistible  attraction  ? 

Our  mind  is  distracted  from  loftier  things  to  the  nose, 
by  the  ever-present  reminder  of  catarrh — the  handker- 
chief (what  a  waste  of  letters  even  in  writing  its  name). 


174  Mother's  Help  and 

Children  must  be  taught  early  that  picking  the  nose  is 
the  nastiest  thing  they  can  do.  The  fringy  corner  of  the 
towel  soaped,  may  be  used  upon  rising  in  the  morning  and 
retiring  at  night.  This  will  soon  cure  the  nose  difficulty  ; 
especially  if  the  bowels  are  regular,  diet  wholesome,  air 
abundant  and  fresh,  and  habits  moral. 

THE  NAILS 

should  be  kept  scrupulously  clean  and  trimmed  to  a 
pretty  shape,  long  enough  to  extend  a  little  beyond  the 
fingers. 

TOE  NAII.S 

should  also  have  proper  care,  but  must  be  cut  so  close 
that  the  toe  extends  beyond  the  nail.  If  troubled  with 
ingrowing  nails  put  a  bit  of  wool  or  woolen  yarn  under 
the  edge  and  oil  with  almond  oil. 


Child's  Friend. 


175 


T^acnnattmt. 

T  is  bad  to  be  in  the  frying-pan  but  worse  to  be 
in  the  fire.     The  relation  of  vaccination  to 
small-pox  is  as  fire  is  to  the  frying-pan.     It 
is  infinitely  better  to  remain  inexperienced 
in  the  matter  of  vaccination  for  in  all  like- 
lihood you  will  escape  the  small-pox  ;  or 
even  if  you  get  it,  the  accompanying  evils 
are  short-lived  and  only  skin  deep.     And 
4       even  if  death  of  the  body  must  come  it  is  a  rapid 
piece  of  work  ;  but  the  evils   of  vaccination  are 
morally  perilous.     And  if  fewer  people  have  died  since 
the   inauguration  of  this  preventive,  more   have  lived, 
but  how  ?     With  vaccination,  like  many  other  evils,  the 
avenger  is  not  satisfied  to  spend  his  wrath  on  the  imme- 
diate victim,  but  it   must  be  visited  upon  the  children, 
even  to  the  second  and  third  generation. 

Dr.  Stowell,  M.  R.  C.  S.,  of  Condon,  England,  thirty 
years  a  vaccine  practitioner,  says  in  a  letter  to  The 
Lancet:  ^"The  nearly  general  declaration  of  my  pa- 
tients enables  me  to  proclaim  that  vaccination  is  not  only 
an  illusion  but  a  curse  to  humanity.  More  than  ridicu- 
lous— it  is  irrational  to  say  that  any  corrupt  matter 
taken  from  boils  and  blisters  of  an  organic  creature  could 
affect  the  human  body  otherwise  than  to  injure  it.  First, 
it  was  asserted  that  vaccination  protected  for  life.  When 
this  proved  a  failure,  re-vaccination  in  every  seventh 
year  was  proposed,  but  this  also  failed.  Then  there  was 
a  want  of  sufficient  cow-pox.  Well,  cows  were  inocu- 


176  Mother's  Help  and 

lated  with  human  pox,  and  the  suppurated  matter  pro- 
duced by  this  operation  was  called  pox-lymph,  fresh 
from  the  cow.  This  bastard  poison  is  now  transferred 
into  human  bodies,  no  matter  what  disease  man  or  brute 
may  have  had ;  but  it  is  called  nowadays  '  genuine 
vaccine.' ' 

In  connection  with  vaccination  I  might  speak  of  the 
transmission  of  disease.  How  worse  than  foolish  it  is — 
really  criminal  to  marry  a  sickly  person,  especially  one 
afflicted  with  a  mental  or  physical  infirmity  that  is  at  all 
likely  to  be  transmitted  to  the  children.  If  this  crime 
were  punished  as  other  crimes  of  less  degree  are,  there 
would  be  a  smaller  degree  of  suffering  humanity,  and 
fewer  infant  deaths.  For  the  life  of  me,  I  have  never 
been  able  to  understand  how  this  unpardonable  sin  has 
gone  unpunished  and  unsuppressed,  and  still  goes  on, 
and  doubtless  ever  will  go  on  increasing  until  a  well 
child  or  person  will  be  a  rare  exception. 

I  should  like  to  see  the  day  when  a  child  would  have 
the  right  to  be  born  well  and  with  a  good  constitution, 
and  that  this  right  would  be  looked  to  and  protected. 
We  have  laws  for  the  protection  of  our  property,  and 
laws  and  punishments  for  minor  matters ;  but  for  this 
most  important  of  all,  there  is  no  law  and  no  punishment, 
save  that  which  falls  heavy  and  long  on  the  ones  who 
should  be  protected  (the  children).  This  is,  in  the  state 
of  things,  a  disgrace  to  the  age  and  to  us,  and  something 
we  do  not  allow  among  our  domesticated  animals.  Art, 
Science  and  Nature  we  spare  no  time,  means  or  strength 
in  aiding,  but  when  it  comes  to  the  question  of  our  prog- 
eny, what  have  we  to  say  ?  We  are  silent — too  falsely 
modest  to  be  talked  to.  It  seems  to  me  that  the  law  of 
evolution  ' '  made  a  bad  break  ' '  when  it  evolved  modesty 
in  the  human  race  at  this  particular  juncture. 


Child's  Friend. 


177 


tttesing. 


UPS  in  public  drinking  places  are 
frequently  vehicles  in  which  disease 
•  is  carried.  Much  more  is  disease 
transmitted  through  a  kiss.  Here 
you  have  not  only  the  poisonous 
touch  but  the  breath  to  contend 
with. 

We  can  not  often  expect  to  get  so 
intimate  with  persons  as  to  know  the  exact 
extent  of  their  infirmities.  In  truth,  some  who  look  well 
and  say  little  of  ill  health  may  be  at  the  same  time  ten- 
anting disorders  of  a  serious  nature.  And  the  mouth, 
communicating  directly  with  the  stomach,  which  is 
always  in  sympathy  with  the  afflicted  parts,  we  readily 
see,  becomes  a  dispenser  of  the  saliva  and  breath  from 
within.  ^And  must  those  dear  ones  be  weakened  and 
exposed  to  danger  that  others  may  have  pleasure  ?  No, 
no,  flare  up  !  you  will  have  ample  opportunity  to  exhibit 
amiability,  this  is  not  the  occasion  for  it.  Resent,  in 
behalf  of  the  child,  the  presumption  to  such  familiarity. 
The  kiss  that  is  inflicted  on  the  child  is  the  most  to  be 
sternly  protested  against.  Yet  this  expression  of  affec- 
tion which  has  so  degenerated  through  abuse,  does  not, 
with  the  terminal  of  childhood,  cease  as  an  artful  instru- 
ment for  evil,  as  is  well  known  by  suffering  humanity. 


178 


Mother's  Help  and 


antr 


IGHTS  produce  responsibility,  and 
the  more  rights  one  has  the  greater 
are  his  responsibilities.  One  whose 
arms  are  pinioned  by  adversities  on 
all  sides,  or  does  not  share  all 
the  rights  enjoyed  by  his  more  fort- 
unate neighbors,  is  not  conse- 
quently responsible  to  the  extent 
that  these  neighbors  are.  So  with 
women,  when  their  rights  were  few,  their  responsibilities 
were  limited.  But  when  the  rights  are  limitless  the 
responsibilities  are  commensurate. 

The  more  rights  we  women  get  the  more  fully  con- 
scious must  we  become  of  our  need  to  look  into  the  con- 
ditions of  the  homes,  the  schools,  public  institutions, 
factories,  and  even  the  mines,  if  man  needs  woman's 
intuitive  suggestions  there.  Nor  does  woman's  respon- 
sibility end  with  her  laying  bare  the  conditions  and 
needs,  but  she  must  see  that  those  conditions  are  righted 
and  needs  supplied.  In  our  attacks  upon  men  we  must 
not  forget  that  their  heedlessness  is  much  the  outgrowth 
of  the  mothers'  and  wives'  own  indifference,  together 
with  the  fact  that  a  craving  for  influence  and  money  has 
been  the  power  behind  the  throne  that  has  moved  man 
to  concentrate  his  energies  to  getting  gain  unto  himself. 


Child's  Friend.  179 

Man  can  not  be  everywhere  at  once.  The  necessities  of 
the  times  brought  woman  to  the  front.  A  century  ago 
man  could  do  many,  many  things  ;  but  now  it  is  thought 
that  a  "  jack  of  all  trades  is  master  of  none,"  and  that 
hurts  his  feelings  worse  than  filing  on  a  saw,  for  master 
he  must  be,  and  in  order  this  to  be,  he  has  focused  his 
energies,  which  has  brought  about  the  DIVISION  OF  LA- 
BOR that  has,  with  the  tremendous  increase  in  popula- 
tion, created  conditions  which  have  turned  the  tables 
onto  woman;and  she  has  now,  by  force  of  circumstances, 
become — instead  of  man— the  responsible  overseer. 

This  appalls  us  nigh  unto  taking  away  the  breath, 
and  one  almost  wishes  there  were  more  single  women  to 
look  after  the  rapidly  increasing  demands  of  the  day. 
And  I  do  verily  believe  that  ' '  single  blessedness ' '  in 
woman  will  become  more  than  ever  the  head,  heart  and 
hand  to  which  we  must  look  for  the  reconstruction  of 
that  which  was  badly  built  at  home,  and  for  reclaiming 
the  fallen.  Her  head  is  clear  for  broad  thought,  her 
heart,  though  unclaimed  by  one,  is  claimed  by  the  thou- 
sands, and  her  arms  are  free  to  embrace  needy,  suffering 
humanity  in  the  high  as  well  as  the  lower  walks  of  life. 

In  speaking  of  rights  and  responsibilities,  I  should 
like  to  suggest  that  we  make  an  effort  to  concede  the 
rights  of  animals  to  survive.  We  are  responsible  for 
their  extermination  or  survival. 

' '  Extermination  of  American  Animals. ' '  This  was 
the  subject  of  an  instructive  article  in  the  December 
Chautauquan  for  1889.  The  article  went  on  to  show  how 
some  of  our  beautiful  animals  had  become  extinct  at  the 
hands  of  the  huntsman,  and  nearly  all  others  are  in  im- 
minent danger  of  a  final  yielding  to  the  depraved  appetites 
and  inhuman  fashions  that  now  prevail.  The  writer  of 
the  article  suggests  that  a  tax  be  levied  upon  all  persons 


i8o  Mother's  Help  and 

found  with  fresh  skins  in  their  possession,  which  we 
suggest  be  carried  further,  and  that  the  humane  societies 
excite  popular  interest  in  favor  of  instituting  a  law  pro- 
hibiting skin  or  fur  dealing  ;  also  the  dealing  in,  and  wear- 
ing of  millinery  birds.  To  these  we  may  add  the 
innumerable  uses  to  which  portions  of  animals  and  birds 
are  put  for  decorative  purposes,  and  sold  so  cheaply  as  to 
still  further  show  the  low  estimate  placed  on  life  and 
blood. 

The  influence  for  evil  increases  with  the  cheapening 
of  animal  wares  as  we  readily  see,  for  they  are  then 
placed  within  reach  of  all,  carrying  with  them  the  de- 
moralizing and  benumbing  influence  associated  with  the 
killing  of  these — God's  creatures. 

When  we  look  through  our  wardrobes  we  are  bewild- 
ered as  to  what  will  take  the  place  of  the  portions  of 
animals  with  which  we  have  bepatched  ourselves.  But 
more  appalled  are  we  in  trying  to  solve  the  dizzy  prob- 
lem of  home  decorations,  where  the  evidence  of  whole- 
sale slaughter  of  the  unoffending  creatures  stares  us  in 
the  face  at  every  turn.  Even  the  Bible  is  clothed  in  the 
skin  of  an  animal.  Verily,  we  can  not  judge  of  contents 
by  their  exteriors.  I  doubt  not  that  if  the  book  of  Holy 
Writ  could  talk  it  would  tell  us  how  hateful  and  uncom- 
fortable it  feels  in  another  one's  coat.  Ah,  do  I  startle 
you  into  discomfort  ?  well,  misery  likes  company. 

While  getting  our  eyes  open  enables  us  to  see  our 
rights,  let  us  not  wade  through  this  mire  of  carnage,  pur- 
posely blinding  ourselves  to  our  responsibility  to  the 
animals  who  would  like  to  live  and  improve.  I^et  us  try 
to  direct  our  intelligence  to  devising  means  for  supplying 
substitutes  for  the  great  variety  of  birds  and  animals 
that  have  been  forced  to  find  a  final  resting-place  piece- 
meal among  the  civilized.  (?) 


Child's  Friend. 


181 


are  fEate  of. 


HE    body    in  question  weighs    154.4 
pounds    made  up  of  23.  i  pounds  of 
carbon,    2.2    pounds    of    lime,    23.3 
ounces  of  phosphorous,  and  one  ounce 
each  of  sodium,  iron,  potassium,  mag- 
nesium and  silicon.     It  is  estimated 
that  besides   this  solid  matter  there   are 
5,595   cubic    feet    of    oxygen,    weighing 
about   121  pounds;   105,900  cubic  feet  of 
hydrogen,   weighing  15.4  pounds,  and   52   cubic 
feet  of  nitrogen  in  this  body. 

All  of  these  elements  combined  in  the  following  :  121 
pounds  of  water,  16.5  pounds  of  gelatine,  1.32  pounds  of 
fat,  8.8  pounds  of  fibrine  and  albumen,  and  7. 7  pounds  of 
phosphate  of  lime  and  other  minerals. 


1 82  Mother's  Help  and 


l&emeiries  anfc 


DIARRHOEA. 

O  VISIT  the  country  where  ripe 
peaches  can  be  eaten  fresh  from  the 
tree — especially  the  sunny  side  of  the 
tree — is  an  excellent  remedy  for 
chronic  diarrhoea.  Quiet  rest  flat  on 
the  back,  is  helpful. 

CONSTIPATION. 

Such  fruits  as  oranges  and  figs  eaten 
before  breakfast  will  regulate  the  bowels  and  cure 
constipation. 

For  constipation  active  exercise,  especially  bending 
and  twisting  exercises. 

EARACHE. 

Heat  the  soles  of  the  feet  and  apply  hot  flannel  to  the 
side  of  the  head  will  relieve.  In  very  severe  cases  give 
the  child  a  cup  of  hot  milk  to  drink  and  dip  a  bit  of  cot- 
ton in  warm  olive  oil  and  insert  in  the  ear. 

CRAMPS. 

For  cramps  in  the  calf  of  the  leg.  As  quickly  as 
possible  strap  your  stocking  or  a  towel  or  anything 
tightly  around  the  calf,  then  manipulate  it  briskly  until 
the  nerves  and  muscles  are  replaced  in  a  normal  con- 
dition. 


Child's  Friend.  183 

HIVES. 

Hives  are  the  result  of  a  disordered  condition  of  the 
stomach ;  seek  to  restore  that  to  its  normal  condition. 
For  immediate  relief  bathe  the  hives  with  tepid  water  into 
which  you've  dissolved  a  little  baking  soda.  If  the  child 
has  been  eating  meat  or  fish  discontinue  that  and  confine 
its  diet  to  cereals  and  fruits,  which  will  soon  cool  the 
blood  and  quiet  the  irritation. 

BURNS. 

If  not  a  raw  burn  soap  it  quickly  and  cover  with 
dough  and  bandage  to  exclude  the  air.  When  this 
dough  dries  change  it  for  fresh  without  the  soap. 

FIRE. 

In  case  a  child's  clothes  catch  on  fire  envelop  it  at 
once  in  blanket,  rug,  shawl,  or  other  woolen  article,  which 
will  smother  the  flames.  Have  a  care  not  to  let  the 
child  inhale  the  flames  or  smoke. 

DELICIOUS   DRINKS. 

Toast  Water. — Toast  slowly  a  thin  slice  of  bread  till 
brown  and  hard,  then  put  it  in  a  bowl  and  pour  a  goblet 
of  cold  water  over  it.  Let  it  stand  an  hour  when  it  will 
be  ready  for  use. 

Barley  Water. — One  Ounce  of  pearl  barley,  half  an 
ounce  of  white  sugar,  and  the  rind  of  a  lemon,  put  it  all 
into  a  jar.  Pour  over  it  one  quart  of  boiling  water  and 
let  it  stand  nine  hours  ;  strain  off  the  liquor  and  add  a 
slice  of  lemon. 

Apple  Tea. — Cut  two  finely  flavored  apples  in  slices 
and  pour  over  them  a  quart  of  boiling  water.  Strain  in 
a  few  hours  when  cold.  Sweeten  if  it  is  found  too  sour. 


184  Mother's  Help  and 

Apple  Tea. — Peel  and  quarter  four  nicely  flavored 
apples,  put  them  into  one  quart  of  cool  water,  add  peel 
of  one-third  of  a  lemon  and  two  tablespoonsful  of  washed 
currants  (fresh  or  dried).  Let  all  boil  for  one  hour,  then 
strain  and  add  sugar  to  suit  taste.  Let  cool,  when  it 
will  be  ready  to  drink. 

Quince  Tea  may  be  made  by  peeling  and  slicing  two 
large  quinces  to  a  quart  of  water  ;  boil  slowly  one  to  two 
hours.  Strain  and  sweeten.  It  may  then  be  used  hot 
or  cold. 

COOL   DRINKS 

may  be  made  from  most  fruits  and  berries  by  simply 
crushing,  adding  cold  water,  straining,  and  sweetening 
to  taste. 

Fruit  and  berry  drinks  are  the  most  palatable  and 
healthful  of  all  drinks. 


Child's  Friend.  185 


"  A  noble  deed  is  a  step  toward  heaven." 

"  By  a  vote  of  22  to  18  a  certain  church  congress  con- 
cluded that  all  infants  dying  in  infancy  are  saved? 
Bless  their  little  hearts  !  How  they  must  rejoice  at  this 
declaration.  But  let  them  pause  for  a  moment  and  re- 
flect upon  the  solemn  fact  that  a  change  of  only  three 
votes  would  have  damned  them  forever." — Cincinnati 
Enquirer. 

Practice  politeness  constantly  on  the  home  folks,  and 
there  will  be  no  danger  of  your  making  any  blunders 
when  out  in  society. 

A  mother  should  be  most,  kind  and  polite  first  of  all 
to  her  own  children.  The  child  should  likewise  be  most 
polite  to  the  mother.  Show  her  more  deference  than  you 
do  any  one  else ;  most  especially,  young  ladies,  when 
young  gentlemen  happen  to  be  calling  upon  you.  If 
your  mother  is  not  already  in  the  room  (though  she 
should  be  there  first),  but  enters,  always  arise  and  step 
to  one  side  of  your  chair  until  she  is  seated  or  leaves  the 
room.  Remember  that  young  men,  if  of  any  account  at 
all,  will  always  have  a  holy  sort  of  admiration  for  a  girl 
who  shows  her  mother  some  reverential  ceremony.  They 
will  even  go  so  far  as  to  call  you  their  princess.  Don't 
forget  this,  for  it  will  hold  you  higher  in  their  estimation 
than  anything  else  you  can  do.  This  applies  to  boys  as 
well  as  girls.  And  remember  some  of  the  same  treat- 


186  Mother* s  Help  and 

ment  for  your  father.  There  are  but  few  reasonable  re- 
quests you  may  make  of  a  father  that  he  will  not  grant 
if  you  make  him  feel  that  he  is  the  father  of  a  prince  or 
princess.  It  is  like  freeing  him  of  the  thorns  with  which 
his  day's  business  has  infested  him. 

"  The  rarest  attainment  is  to  grow  old  gracefully. "- 
L.  M.   Chiids. 

' '  Give  a  boy  address  and  accomplishments,  and  you 
give  him  the  mastery  of  palaces  and  fortunes  where  he 
goes. ' ' — Emerson. 

L,ittle  girls  remember  that  one  of  the  prettiest  things 
you  can  do  is  to  be  always  smiling  and  polite  to  your 
brothers  and  sisters. 

Boys,  the  first  evidence  of  greatness  in  your  constitu- 
tion shows  itself  in  your  protecting  your  sisters  and 
always  reserving  for  them  your  most  courteous  consid- 
eration. 

"  There,  speak  in  whispers  ;  fold  me  to  thy  heart 
Dear  love,  for  I  have  roamed  a  weary,  weary  way  , 
Bid  my  vague  terror  with  thy  kiss  depart !  " 

"  The  hearthstone  has  ever  been  the  corner-stone  of 
the  family  and  society." — Bellows. 

There  is  no  picture  more  divinely  beautiful  than  the 
family  circle  with  its  confessions,  interchange  of  ideas, 
and  timely  suggestions. 

The  Hon.  Norman  Parks  when  away  from  home 
seated  himself  to  write,  but  seemed  ill  at  ease  and  threw 
down  his  quill  and  walked  the  floor  thoughtfully.  After 
going  back  to  the  desk  and  repeating  this  evident  at- 
tempt several  times  I  asked  the  cause.  To  which  he 


Child's  Friend,  1^7 

replied  that  the  ' '  sweeteners  of  his  toils ' '  were  not  there 
climbing  on  the  back  of  his  chair  and  he  could  not  seem 
to  get  up  an  inspiration. 

His  wife  wrote  her  best  letters  when  her  little  one 
was  on  her  writing-table  with  his  little  feet  serving  as 
paper-weights. 

Moral:  That  we  should  all  try  to  find  good  in  what 
seems  naughtiness  in  the  little  ones. 

The  family  circle  is  a  tower  of  strength  to  the  indi- 
vidual, to  the  society,  to  the  nation. 

An  evil  tongue  is  an  abomination.  When  a  person 
speaks  in  a  depreciating  tone  of  any  body,  or  is  averse 
to  conceding  their  merits  on  the  ground  of  their  having 
a  humble  origin,  or  having  been  engaged  in  a  plain,  but 
honest  occupation,  shun  that  person  for  he  or  she  is  poi- 
sonous. 

What  one's  enemies  may  say  should  not  be  taken  as 
evidence. 

You  will  never  get  to  heaven  by  clinging  to  the  gar- 
ments of  your  pious  relations.  Every  one  is  judged  by 
his  own  merits.  One's  own  inward  desire  to  make  spir- 
itual progress  is  all  that  can  save  him  or  her. 

' '  Nothing  is  of  so  much  use  to  a  young  man  entering 
life,  as  to  be  well  criticised  by  women." — D*  Israel. 

Some  persons  try  to  hide  their  own  imperfections  by 
lowering  the  standard  of  morality.  This  they  do  by 
bemeaning  others  and  trying  to  bring  them  down  to 
their  own  level. 


1 88  Mother's  Help. 

' '  There  is  so  much  good  in  human  nature  that  he 
who  trusts  every  body  will,  in  the  long  run,  make  fewer 
mistakes  than  he  who  suspects  every  body." — Philadel- 
phia Ledger. 

' '  Let  every  one  be  occupied  in  the  highest  employ- 
ment of  which  his  nature  is  capable,  and  die  with  a 
consciousness  that  he  has  done  his  best." — Sidney 
Smith. 

' '  There  are  not  many  who  finish  their  lives  before 
they  die.  Very  few  go  willingly  ;  most  are  forced,  and 
not  a  few  are  dragged  to  the  grave.  Instead  of  leaving 
the  world,  they  are  hunted  out  of  it." — Gotthold. 

"The  foot  always  steps  more  lightly  and  willingly 
when  there  is  a  band  of  music  in  front." — David  Swing. 

' '  When  troubles  come  go  at  them  with  song.  When 
griefs  arise,  sing  them  down.  Lift  the  voice  of  praise 
against  cares. ' '  — Beecher. 

"  Certain  critics  resemble  closely  those  people  who, 
when  they  would  laugh  show  ugly  teeth." — Jaubert. 

1 '  Do  not  look  for  wrong  or  evil — 

You  will  find  it  if  you  do; 
As  you  measure  for  your  neighbor 
He  will  measure  back  to  you. 

Look  for  goodness,  look  for  gladness, 
You  will  meet  them  all  the  while  ; 

If  you  bring  a  smiling  visage 
To  the  glass,  you  meet  a  smile." 


Chiia's  Fnena.  180 


JJrager. 


Now  the  light  has  gone  away, 
Saviour  listen  while  I  pray, 
Asking  Thee  to  watch  and  keep, 
And  to  send  me  quiet  sleep. 

Jesus,  Saviour,  wash  away, 
All  that  has  been  wrong  to-day, 
Help  me  every  day  to  be 
Good  and  gentle,  more  like  Thee. 

Now  my  ev'ning  praise  I  give, 
Thou  didst  die  that  I  might  live, 
All  my  blessings  come  from  Thee, 
Oh,  how  good  thou  art  to  me. 


THE  BABY'S  BIOGRAPHY 


BY 


A.    O.    KAPLAN. 


With  Illustrations  in   Colors  and  Monotints 


MRS.    FRANCES    M.    BRUNDAGE. 


Large  quarto,  n  x  9  in.  size,  72  pages,  in  either  port- 
folio or  bound  in  handsome  combination  of  gold  and 
different  colored  cloths,  in  box,  $3-75 


For  sale  at   all    booksellers,   or   will  be   sent,  post   paid, 
by  the  publishers. 


BRENTANO'S 

CHICAGO.  NEW  YORK.  WASHINGTON. 


THE  LIBRARY 
IMVERSITY  OF  CAI  IFORMA 

Santa  Barbara 


THIS  BOOK  IS  Dl  E  ON  THE  LAST  DATE 
STAMPED  BELOW. 


IOOM  11/86  Series  9482 


3  1205  00807  1860 


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